New Perspective, maybe?

I took the week off from working out, partly due to not feeling well, but also partly due to just needing a break. I have been so consistent over the last couple months, so I figure a week off is good for my mental state and me in general.

So this week has definitely been an eye opener as far as my fertility goes. I was upset yesterday when I got the negative pregnancy test, don't get me wrong. And I called the doc's office and they were helpful in determining what the next step should be, knowing that I really don't want a lot of intervention from the doctor's and I really thought we could do this without the doc, but apparently we need some help. DH was diagnosed with low motility a couple months ago, and the procedure we have decided to do should help with that issue. The procedure is called IUI and below is a little about it from a website I like called Fertility Life Lines:

Intrauterine insemination (IUI) can be performed using the woman’s partner's sperm or donor sperm.

When using the male's sperm, the male produces a specimen, either at home or at the clinic or doctor's office. The sperm is then prepared for IUI.

Sperm from the male partner or third-party donor are screened to choose only the active sperm from the man's ejaculate. They are then concentrated into a small volume. The sperm are "washed" to remove potentially toxic chemicals that may cause adverse reactions in the uterus.

The doctor then uses a soft catheter, which is passed through a speculum directly into the woman's uterus to inject the semen. Insemination is done when a woman is ovulating, usually within 24 to 36 hours after a luteinizing hormone (LH) surge is detected. Ovulation is predicted by a urine test kit or blood test and ultrasound. Ovulation-stimulating drugs are usually given to the patient beforehand.

IUI may be done in conjunction with ovulatory medications. If injectable ovulation stimulating drugs are used, it's essential to perform careful monitoring, including periodic blood tests and ultrasounds beginning around day six of the woman's cycle. Test results will show when eggs are mature, prompting the human choriogonadotropin (hCG) shot.

IUI is a quick procedure that is done in the doctor's office without anesthesia. It should not be painful, but some women experience mild discomfort.

So in thinking about this procedure last night (a couple friends of ours did it and now have a beautiful little boy, and if I remember right, they tried for 3 years and she is quite a bit older than me) I figured that maybe God is leading us towards this, because before yesterday I was never ready for this. DH has some spermies that aren't in the best condition, so maybe this is God's way of showing us that we do need a little help because he wants us to have a perfect baby and not use any of the spermies that aren't just that. The doc says the procedure has about a 15% success rate (obviously our success rate has been less over the past 2 years) and it is upped a bit because of the fertility drugs I will be on. Now I checked into the drugs a bit as I did Clomid for 6 months and had awful side effects (extreme exhaustion, mood swings, hot flashes and added sweating). The new drug is called Letrazol and is supposed to have very few side effects, the only one being tiredness during the 5 days you take it (day 3-7) so I think I can handle that.

AF still hasn't come so when it does, I call the office and schedule my ultrasound for Day 10, 11 or 12. Then, go in on that day for the Ultrasound to see how many follicules there are. From there, what I understand is they will monitor me maybe every couple days and see when it looks like I am ovulating, at which point, DH needs to race to the doc's office to do his thing. They will then "clean" his sample, and put it where it is supposed to be. Then we start our waiting and praying.

I was also thinking that when I get pregnant, I don't think I will know what to do with myself. I've worked so hard on getting pregnant and done all the research there, so once we get pregnant, I won't know what to do with myself. Trust me, there are books gathering dust in my closet so I will be reading like a mad-woman, but still it is a little scary. But I am so ready!!! DH is too!

Every month in the past when we have found out that we aren't pregnant, DH has said, "should we get help like our friends did?" and I put it off. So now I am ready to do this. I'm a little sad that I've done so well on WW and I will have to start over, but I think I will be able to still follow it a little bit so I am keeping in the right portions and hopefully not gain a lot of wait, or reallocate what I have just to my belly! Wishful thinking!

DH is worried about the cost (which is about $700) but it is so much cheaper that IVF (about $15,000), and I think at this point it is worthwhile. That is why we have savings!

So pray that this will work and we only have to try it once. Thanks for all the love of those who read this and give me your support. And for all those women who are blessed to have children without any doctor's intervention, please know how blessed you are! I envy you all so much! And am thankful to have learned much from my friends who have already had babies out there!

Ok, enough rambling. Back to work!