Friday, July 31, 2009

Great Day

So for whatever reason, I am in a great mood this morning and my horoscope that I read (AFTER) I decided this says my good mood is insatiable! I am hoping the list grows, but thus far, here are my reasons:

1) It's Friday

2) I tried on my "skinny" jeans this morning and not only did they FIT, but I didn't have to suck it in to button them, the circulation isn't cut off like it was the last time I wore these and the "muffin top" is GONE!

3) The jewelry I ordered for myself and some people's birthdays, came in just in time for my MIL's birthday tomorrow and my good friend is delivering it to my house today!

4) I had a great workout and even time for a stretch afterwards by one of the trainers!

5) My husband OFFERED to take my truck to work and clean it without me even asking!

6) I found a new game to keep me occupied when I need a little stress relief on FB!

7) I love the new jewelry that my very good friend and her 2 ADORABLE children dropped off today!

8) The workday is over officially, which means the weekend is here!

9) I'm off to the grocery store to buy groceries and the new PEOPLE magazine with the entire (well, except Screech) cast of Saved By The Bell in it (my all-time favorite show)!

10) I'm alive, I'm skinnier and I'm still in my good mood!

Talk about a great day! Love you all!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

The days creep by.

So they continue to creep by. Don't test until next Wed (which happens to be our kitty's 7th birthday) and I'm really trying to not let it get to me. I think I am taking it well. I'm trying not to read too much into my thoughts, and how I am feeling. There is some unexpected pain in my abdomen, back and sometimes a little nausea - but usually when I am working out, so I think that is why. So we just go back to hoping and reading my card.

On a good note...I felt really skinny today and when I got home DH told me that I looked really skinny, not only today but last Saturday and he explained why. And it was really sweet. So that is nice and makes me want to keep going. If I can't get pregnant, at least I know I can lose weight! ;)

I have faith we will get pregnant, and the weight loss is just part of the path we have to take to get there. I do have faith. And I pray it will happen soon. Thanks for all of you who support me so well! Love you bunches!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Unofficial Weigh In

So there is no WW today due to the space used for the meeting being used for what it usually is, a church! So don't officially have to weigh in, but I did this morning at home - which is usually really close to the WW scale. This morning before the walk, it was way low - down 2 lbs, but then after my walk - and water, it was down 1.4, but with clothes then too. Anyway, still happy about reaching the official 10 lb point! YAY ME!

Quote from Bill Cosby: "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."

This is me in a nutshell. I want everyone to be happy and healthy. I need to stop this! How do I stop this?

Monday, July 27, 2009

Happy thoughts

Not a whole lot to report on this Monday, but a couple happy things that happened over the weekend that I want to note somewhere.

First, happiest thing, 3 people over the weekend (counting Friday too) told me I looked like I had lost weight and was looking good. Friday was a friend who is a trainer! Sunday morning was one of the ladies I swim with. And Sunday afternoon was one of my best friends at a birthday party for a 1 year old, while surrounded by other best friends who all agreed. Anyway, happiness! ;) Hopefully this week I break the 10 lb barrier and then we get closer to my goal! GO ME!

Second, went to lunch with my trainer friend on Fri and while we were eating we discussed the fertility stuff. Anyway, she recommended writing on a 3x5 card "I AM PREGNANT!" because "I am" affirmations help the body figure out what to do and then to look at it every morning and night. I didn't have a 3x5 card, so I did 5x7, but it all works the same. So am trying to remember to look at it every day twice. Hopefully it helps!

I guess that is all for now. Later skaters!

Saturday, July 25, 2009


So haven't had what I said on the last post for a bit. Few cramps, but nothing as severe as Thursday. Still kinda tired and a little weepy...but nothing else out of the ordinary. Nothing else really to report, just trying to make it in the big-bad-world!

Night folks!

Thursday, July 23, 2009


Okay, if you have read this far, I am hoping you read the title! This post could have some TMI but I need to write this down so I remember today.

Pretty normal Thursday. Slept in (it is my no-workout day), got through all my projects at work, class and then off to Babies R Us to look for a present for a friend's baby shower. Around the time I started to head home from work, I started to have cramps like AF was coming, but hello...I just ovulated this week, so that is impossible! Front and back cramps, not horrendous but painful enough to get my attention. (HERE COMES THE TMI!) Came home and changed, only to find that I had a lot of discharge in my panties, which doesn't usually happen around OV. Took my pill and was still very amazed at what I just described. So I don't know if this is a good thing, or a bad thing. Went down to watch TV and declared dinner a "No WW zone." Didn't eat terrible I think, soup and a cheese sandwich with some milk and cookies for dessert. But I just wanted to curl up into bed and sleep. Sooooo tired! So that is where I am heading now. Hopefully, tomorrow is better and I can go workout in the morning.

Anyone who has been there with these symptoms, please let me know! Have a nice evening!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Last day, last day, last day!

So today is the last viable day this cycle to BD and have a hope that we may get PG sooner than later. We've been pretty good, but timing this is making the process not so fun sometimes. So we hope and we pray. We try mediating, we try cuddling, but BDing under pressure isn't my idea of fun. Spontinatety (I know this is spelled wrong but for the life of me can't make it right!) is where it is at, but we don't have that luxury these days. So we continue.

Had acupuncture yesterday for the first time in 2 weeks (on the new, less expensive schedule) and it was nice. Debi was talking to me after she put all the needles in (including one between my eyebrows) and I must have been furrowing my brow a lot because I popped it out! It hurt when it came out, but it did anyway! Random.

She also gave me a breathing meditation to do before bed to calm me and us for BDing. I convinced (by no small feat) DH to do it last night (it's really just sitting with your partner crossed-legged, breathing into your belly instead of your diaphram) for 5 minutes. I felt great, but his vertigo kicked in due to the candles burning and he got sweaty and dizzy. So next time either do it laying down or with lights off. Not the best jump start to our night, so to speak. We got past that, did our duty (sad to say it that way but a lot of time that is what it feels like) and on to bed.

Walked this morning and was sore from more weight yesterday. Weighed in at WW and while I was down .4 lb, I am still right around 9.2-9.4 total. So need to concentrate this week and do things right, counting every single bite of every single thing I have! Had some time before work so had a leisurely breakfast of Trader Joe's Blueberry Bran muffin (so yummy, and not terrible for points), grapes, and decaf coffee with 1% milk while I watched last night's episode of The Closer, then began work. Now am off to thaw my lunch, take a mini-break and get back to studying before class at 2:30, then WW at 7:30. Then tomorrow, the pills begin again and the praying continues.

Thanks folks, have a great one!

Good quotes!

If you always do what you always did, then you'll always get what you always got."

This was on a church billboard "Drive Safely! Not only your car can be recalled!"

Sunday, July 19, 2009

No news is good news?

Nothing really to report since Tuesday. We've been BDing about every other night, every night just doesn't seem to work. This time of the month always seems so stressful. We know we have to BD but that takes a lot of the fun out of it. It ALWAYS ends up that DH is "too tired" and I have to remind him that it is this week or next month! But it gets so aggravating! Anyway, we only have a couple days left, by my count our time for this month is up on Wed. Then the pills start and the praying begins.

Oh, maybe a notable is that we had to take Sierra to the vet on Saturday. Well, DH did. She's been limping on and off and I took her in a couple weeks back to get weighed (she was a little heavy, so they had put her on a diet) and she lost 3 lbs. Anyway, she had been limping then and one of the vet techs said she could have just hurt her paw, but she could also have Valley Fever. And she was the 2nd person to tell me that, so I started keeping real track of when she was limping, for how long and which paw. It stops, then it starts, then it starts, then it stops. So Friday she was doing it again and I couldn't take it. After calling the vet to see what would be done and how much it would cost us, I decided it was necessary. DH came home and agreed, but the vet couldn't get us in for a while, or I thought. So, Sat morning before I went to work out with my trainer, I called again to schedule and they said they could do the test Sat and then we could figure out where to go from there once we had the results. So DH took her in and they took blood, results will be back Monday or Tuesday. Pray it isn't Valley Fever!

Went to a friend's jewelry party on Sat and it was way fun. I didn't buy anything but that wasn't because I didn't want to. Just was having to much fun chatting with people. I did book one to have at our house in October, and that should be fun. By booking, I got a cool ring, but I don't get it until my party! Anyway, I'm now reviewing the catalog and have what I want down to a few, plus a few for presents.

Off to make dinner and then relax and knit before bed!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Game on?

So we did BD Tues, and last night, but were too tired to enjoy it really. Tonight again we will try! I don't know how we will make it 8 days straight! Talk about something sad to be too tired of! But it doesn't hold the same excitement when you know you have to do it now or lose out! Just doesn't work!

Stressful day today. I almost threw my computer and printer out the window of my 2nd floor home office. Printer wouldn't scan, wouldn't turn off, wouldn't scan, wouldn't turn off, wouldn't do anything I wanted it to! Then Internet Explorer started telling me I was offline when I knew very well I was online! So annoying! Especially because I had class today and a bunch to get done before class. So not a great day because I didn't get everything done I wanted to for work. Thankfully, it is only Thursday!

My neck/shoulder still hurt a bit. It is weird because it hurts when I wake up and go to sleep. I stretch a bit in the morning and it seems fine, throughout the day it hurts here and there, but not constant. Then I get home and I just want to tear through my spine to get it to stop hurting! ARGH! I need a drink, but that isn't allowed. HA HA, chocolate is! Later folks!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Bummer at WW

So I got up this morning to walk with Sierra and a friend and I always weigh on our scale before so I can forsee what the scale at WW will say. Ours was showing me that I was down 2.2 lbs, which would have put me at 10.2 lbs total! YAY right?

Anna and I go walk with Sierra, then come home and change shoes, get water (because I had already drank my full waterbottle - it was hot out there!) and went to WW to weigh in. Their scale only shows a loss of 1 lb (still good), but only gets me to my 9 lbs, and I've been at 9.4 lbs. I'll weigh on our scale tomorrow and see what happens. I'll bet it is because of all the water I drank this morning! But bummer!

On a good note, next week should be great because it will reflect this week's loss and last week's loss, God willing! Alright, time to hit the showers and get ready for my day!

UPDATE: So after I wrote this, I went and weighed on our scale and it was up, but still .4 under what the WW scale said. So I stripped down out of my sweaty clothes, and got back on and low and behold, it was down 3 lbs, 2 whole pounds more than WW, and .8 more than before our walk for a GRAND total of 11 lbs! So, now, NOTE TO SELF - when return from walk with Anna, change out of sweaty clothes before weighing in at WW! I feel better now, I think!

Monday, July 13, 2009

The game is afoot!

Alrightly, the time has come again! Tomorrow is Day 10 and that means until Day 18, we BD EVERY NIGHT! Hopefully by Day 18, we still want to be in the same bed! That is a lot of BDing and while when I didn't want to get pregnant, it probably wasn't such a feat. Now that so much is riding on it, we can get a little testy! But I have faith that good things are happening in each of our bodies and while we aren't there yet, we will get there. DH is sticking to his "no beer" during the week habit and only a couple on the weekends, so I am hoping that is helping his issues. I'm trying to lose more weight (backtracked last week after the debacle of the negative tests) and now I feel I am back on schedule. We will get this done, one way or another.

Good weekend! Went shopping (on very limited budget) on Sat. Mostly just wanted to walk around the mall and look at pretty things, plus get out of the 111 degree heat!!! I was on a mission for a purse, preferably purple again. The one I had I loved, but I had for so long - since February - and had torn a couple decent sized holes in the front pocket, which I kept losing things into within the purse! Very annoying. So found one at Macy's but was out of the budget, but on SUPER sale and the last one, so I bought it and continued looking. I hit all the majors - Dillards, Express, Limited, Lerner NY, Aldo, and finally Shi. The sales girl was so helpful and when I asked for a purple purse from a high shelf, she not only got me that one but found any other one in the store she could. Finally ended up with one that I love and is different, so I don't feel so bad about buying the "same" bag, and it was about HALF the price of the first one I bought. So back to Macy's I went to return the first purse, and then realized I had some money left in budget for another little something. That little something turned out to be this lovely OUTFIT (skirt, top and belt). Okay, so I went over budget by $10, but not bad for a day at the mall. I think I only spent just under $60 for a purse, skirt, belt, and top! YAY ME! Already moved into the new purse, now just to wear the outfit. I have a jewelry party to go to on Saturday, so am thinking that is where I will debut it. Can't wait!

Sunday was 10x busier than Sat. DH had gotten up at 5 am (and he NEVER does that!) to go quadding with a buddy. I was up at 7 to hit the pool for laps, then breakfast with Dad, back to the mall to see if I couldn't find my outfit in another color (no luck), home to vacuum and steam all the floors - 1500 square feet including stairs, pay bills, update my credit card spending spreadsheet, finish the letters to our HOA residents about the speedhumps, and finally got to sit down and watch Confessions of a Shopaholic and paint my nails. Then pack up for the week and make taquitos for dinner - baked not fried! Yummy! DH was ready for bed at 8:30 pm (again, that never happens) and I got to read for a bit.

Worked out hard this morning - upped my weights again. Then into work. Work was great today. Actually had some time on my hands so I reorganized my office almost entirely. Relabeled all my files, got rid of a bunch of things I haven't needed for 2 years, cleaned the clutter off my desk and I feel great! Purging is so awesome! Now home and get to talk to a BFF who just got home from 2 weeks of European travels! Can't wait to hear stories!

Few loose ends to wrap up so I will sign off now. Have a great week folks and cross those fingers for us! Tomorrow starts the opportunity to conceive this month and I want to achieve it! Pray for us!

Friday, July 10, 2009

I give up...not entirely

So I am done with the OV watch for this cycle, but not due to my desire. When it says "No Data" it means that there hasn't been any data for 2 days and it can't function properly for the month anymore. That popped up yesterday! ARGH! I thought they were going to send out new sensors to make up for this issue, but seems no. They tell me to buy a new watch! Sorry, but I don't think that is worth it. Especially because Dr. H told us to BD days 10-18 and that is exactly what the watch said. So why spend another $100-$200 to wear an uncomfortable watch that gives me a rash (because of my lovely metal allergy) that gives me the same outcome as the doctor? Just hate that I already spent $125 on it! So annoying. Hopefully this will take some stress off though because that is what the watch was making me, stressed because it wasn't working right. So I think we are done with it.

Good day overall. Productive - although different than I thought I would be. Sore from my workout and got to have a dinner date with DH at Ole (Mexican food - yum!) and still have points for Sat, Sun and Mon! Now off to bed so I can have some retail therapy tomorrow! YAY!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

The D**M OV Watch

So you may have guessed that the OV watch is giving me some issues, and if you didn't read yesterday's blog, you missed out!

Now we have effectively had 2 days without readings and thus "No Data" popped up meaning that I can't use the OV watch for the rest of the cycle because you have to start on day 1, 2, or 3 and today is day 5! So this cycle is screwed!

I was discussing this with the lady (Val) at OV watch and she has been helpful in that she keeps sending me free sensors (which are about $35 each!) but now the watch seems to be the problem and low-and-behold, it only had a 6 month warranty, which I am VERY sure is up. So her solution was to buy a Starter Kit for $100 which includes a new watch and a sensor, and seeing as she sent me 2 free sensors and I have one left, that puts me good for another 4 months. So not a bad idea. However, Dr. H's office told me if we just BD Days 10-18, we should be fine. And last month the OV watch said the exact same thing! So, is it worth $100 to have the watch tell me the same thing as the Dr? Or should we save that $100 for more important things down the road? At this point I am thinking we save the $100 bucks! So may tell Val we are planning on a break and will revisit the issue in a month or two if we decide to buy another watch. But have to gauge myself in a few days, or whenever this cycle is over.

Now if I could stop AF (again, DAY 5!), I'll be in great shape. At this rate, she may still be around come day 10 and then what do we do?! Why is this so D**M difficult?!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


Coming up with new titles is getting tough, so sorry for the repetition.

Been feeling a little off lately. AF is hanging around WAY too long. I'm spoiled in that after I started BC AF went from 7 days to 2-3. The first day is usually awful, second half bad and third practically non-existent. Well, today is Day 4 and we are still dealing with this stupid thing, but just kinda half-assed. So called Dr. H's office today to make sure they weren't worried with my symptoms and Nurse Holly said no, probably just a bad ovulation cycle. So maybe it was actually a good thing we aren't pregnant. She also said if my eating has changed (hello WW!) that could have something to do with it, body chemistry changing. So I am choosing to look at this positively that my body is prepping itself for perfect timing.

Started wearing the OV watch again on Sunday and after a little soak, it worked fine. Monday, the story was not the same. Kept saying "Not Reading" and beeping on the hour meaning it wasn't getting info. So soaked some more and still nothing. Finally got annoyed with it, so tossed it in the drawer. I'm not supposed to miss 2 nights in a row, but I needed my "zzz"s and having a watch on me that beeped all night wouldn't do that. Tuesday, same story. I emailed my contact at the company and she sent out some replacement sensors for free, along with some advice. Tried the advice Tues night and nothing, so switched sensors again. Still "Not Reading"! Still wore it and hoped for the best. Now the issue might be the watch but I don't want a new one (paid $125 for this one off Ebay!), however with the new sensors, I could basically buy a new watch for the price of the sensors if this one is out of it's warranty from my "friend" who "lent" it to me. So contact at OV watch is checking. Cross those fingers...I don't want to put any more money into this process!

Also had Acu today with Debi after she was gone for 2 weeks. The thing I LOVE LOVE LOVE about her is she is honest and wants what is best for me, not her paycheck. I brought up that this is getting pricey and she agreed that we have a good start, so could go to every other week instead of every week, which brings my cost way down! Hopefully if we schedule them right around OV, we will be in good shape and still helping me. Just have to watch my stress level, because the Acu helps with that big time. Cross fingers we don't have to do this much longer! I love Acu, but would love being pregnant more!

Ok, off for a quick read then to sleep so can walk with Anna and Sierra in the morning. Must get back on track with WW to get to my 10 lb mark! Night folks!

ps: Daddy is feeling much better. It was just an allergy to a chemical he touched and wasn't aware he touched his mouth. All better and relieved it wasn't anything else!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Interesting day...

So I had an interesting day...

Didn't walk this morning, my friend bailed and I was still ready to sleep, so didn't bother me. Went to WW and blogged that before, then got ready to work at home and study. Everything is fine and about 3 pm come upstairs to log into my class which I thought started at 3:30 pm. Well it did, 3:30 pm CO time! So 2:30 AZ time! Yikes, an hour late. Course it takes forever for the computer to get up to speed. Have class, then watch the recording to get the beginning parts I missed, and some of it is missed because their system sucks like that.

Just as I am wrapping up, my Mom calls to see how my first day was. We chat for a bit and she says, "hold on Daniel is calling me" (Daniel being my Dad), but she missed the call. I hear my cell (downstairs) go off a minute later and think it is my BFF. Hang up with Mom, look at facebook, whatever. Finally wander downstairs to find dinner before WW meeting and check my phone. My Dad had called me too. So check the message and all he says is, "I'm on my way to Tucson Heart Hospital and I can't find Mom. Please tell her. I can't find her." Then he had some tears in his voice and I could tell he was upset. So immediately, I get upset. Call home, and obviously Mom had gotten a message and she had left. Called her cell and she was just getting to the hospital and would call me when she knew something. Jason came home, so I am crying and he doesn't know why. We head over there and Mom calls while we are in the car to say that it is an allergy to something. So we get there and thankfully it isn't his heart, but some kind of allergy. The right side of his lips were swollen and he said he felt like he had something stuck in his throat. So we sat for a while waiting and watching the Michael Jackson funeral on the TV, then he got up and when he came back he rolled up his sleeves and his arms are covered in a rash. So he tells the Triage nurse and she says the doc is still busy, so he goes outside to call the client where he had lunch to see if there was something in it he didn't know about. And the nurse yells at my Mom that he shouldn't be outside because they are "monitoring" him. (Mind you, I couldn't tell you what the nurse looked like because she was so far away from the attention, so there was no way they were monitoring him.). So he comes back and the doc comes finally, and they take him in. We got kicked out to come home by parents because only one person could go back with him.

Mom just called and said that it is an allergy and they are trying to slow it down so the reaction goes away. But at least it isn't his heart. Probably will have to go for allergy testing after this. Thankfully it seems to be getting figured out, but never good to hear "I'm going to the hospital."

Please pray that they figure this out! Thanks!

Up, but not out

So I am up 1.6 lbs this morning according to WW. However, I knew that would happen for the following reasons:
1. AF showed up, and that always adds something.
2. After July 4th (even though I ate well there) I ate badly the 2 days following.
3. I haven't worked out since July 3rd - that was 4 days ago!

So today starts a new week (even though it is Tuesday, because I start my new cycle of eating today)! And I will be back on top and back down to what I was before, if not lower!!!

So here we go.........!

Monday, July 6, 2009

Breaks my heart

So didn't really feel like blogging a bunch yesterday by the time I got to it, but wanted to mention something. Sat, we had a variety of friends over for 4th of July and within those friends, my friend brought her 2 ADORABLE children. My Dad immediately took to her (almost 3-year old) daughter. She had him so wrapped around her finger, and he was lovin' it. They were sitting on the porch swing and he was having the time of his life, as was she. It was so awesome to watch and it also made my heart break. I know he wants a grandbaby - preferably a girl I think, and thus far we can't do it. Watching him with this little angel was magical, because just like he is a great Dad, I know he will make a great Pappy (what I called his Dad). Ava was sad to leave her new friend who swung her on the porch swing and gave her all the watermelon she desired, and my Dad was sad to see her go as well. I even heard my Mom tell Ava's mom that he can't wait to be a Grandpa. Hopefully that time will come soon!

However, everyone is taken with Ava and her little brother, Anthony. They are both just so cute and happy kids! I love being around them and Jason does too. He recounted more than once a story about Ava that day or the next. And didn't flinch when another child put fingerprints on the TV or window. I know he is ready to be a Dad too, and hopefully it will come sooner than later. He also mentions "maybe we need Dr. H's help" and I can tell he is getting frustrated with this situation. But we continue to give it another month or 2 and go forward from there.

We'll get there, just hope it is soon!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

This month is officially over...

I have decided this month is done, being July 5th and all. No, in reality, I kept taking the Prometrium hoping that what my mind and heart were telling me was true. But AF has been slipping in her ugly head. I started having cramps yesterday, took my pill and they went away. I told myself "pregnant people get cramps all the time." But now I think AF has truly come and I just need to move on to the next month and do my best to be healthy and BD as much as possible!

And now I will go have a drink! Happy belated 4th all!

Friday, July 3, 2009


So I know I already tested today and it was negative, but I couldn't get it out of my head that the test felt like it was wrong - the main reason I took 2 of them, I didn't believe the first! All morning at the gym, I couldn't shake it that I still didn't believe them. So after I left I called my RE's office and spoke with Nurse Pamela. Told her the situation and asked if I could be one of the few women that would never pop up on a pg pee test. She said it is possible and in fact she was that way, as was another woman that came in today. Turns out it isn't that uncommon. So her advice was to stay with the Prometrium for a couple more days and then test again if AF doesn't show. She said, sooner or later if you aren't pg no matter if you are on Prometrium, AF will break through. But if after 3 days no AF and no positive test, call and schedule a blood test. Also asked how much of a difference three days makes and she said it could be a lot.

So now not sure what is going on. Will continue drug until Monday or AF shows and go from there. However, am having some AF like cramps today that could be Mother Nature's way of telling me to save the stress and know this isn't it. But won't know until AF shows up or another neg test. But I just can't shake that the tests this morning were WRONG!

Went and had my pedicure with Talia and the kids. Ava (2.5 yrs old) had her first pedi and was so cute. She alone makes me want a baby, even when she gets crabby! I love that she knows me and right when I got to the spa she gave me big kisses and was lovin' on me. Nice pedi and then off to Eegee's for lunch...had only had 1 point thus far, so splurged and had fries. Then ran to the grocery store and off to pick up Sierra from the groomer. By the time I got home I was sweating like crazy and a little nauceous, which again could be AF or pg.

DH called (did I mention he is the best?! and I think he was convinced this was our time too because he seemed upset and more consoling than usual) to check on me. I told him what the doc said and he said, "well, lets hope you don't get your period then!" For him to say that word (period) is huge, so I know he wants this! Anyway, keep us in your prayers and maybe this ride isn't over yet.

Happy 4th all!


You can stop holding your breath folks, both tests came back negative.

I was really nervous to take them but I did, at 5 am this morning, after another dream that was crazy and this time about babies. I took one and I literally didn't believe it, so I took another to make sure. At one point I even thought I saw a ghost line. So I left them on the counter and went back to bed...and checked them again at 7:30 am, nope...just the one stupid line!

Didn't cry immediately...was actually very calm. However, when DH rolled over and asked if I had tested and I shook my head, and he said, "it was negative?" I lost it. He took my hand and I rolled over to him and he just let me cry. I was so sure this was it. So we begin again.

Well, this will still be a good day...I'm determined. I am dropping my furry baby girl at the groomers, working out, and going for a pedicure with a friend and her daughter and son, then lunch at Eegee's. Pick up the dog, and hit the grocery store to prep for tomorrow's party. Then going to dinner with my parents and Grandma for her 82nd birthday. So hopefully the busyness of it all will keep my mind in the right spot. And I get to have a drink until AF ends, so that is nice.

I was so sure this was it. Never felt this sure ever before. This process sucks!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Did I say this already?

Have I said I am nervous? Because I truely am! Really! I'm sweating like crazy, don't know if it is due to nerves or other things! ARGH! Only about 14 hours til test!


Nervous...anyone else nervous?

I debated with myself all the way home from work about whether to test this morning or not. I am supposed to take the Prometrium 2x a day from Day 18 to Day 32 of my cycle, then test. Today is day 32 and I so badly wanted to test this morning but I am so scared and nervous. I feel in my gut that we are pregnant - just little things happening to me (Acu last week, the dentist, the crazy dreams I am having - don't usually dream, little cramps and little nausea, etc) and just this feeling that we did it. But I am really scared I will test and it will be negative (as it has been for the last 2 years)! I don't want my bubble to burst!

I know that if it doesn't happen this month we will continue to try, but over the last 2 years, I have never felt so strongly that I am pregnant! NEVER! I keep praying and talking to my belly, hoping there is someone in there to hear it.

Keep us in your prayers!