Friday, August 26, 2011

I'm here, I'm here!

Hello dear ones!  I'm sorry I seem to have fallen off the planet, but our lives have been a little topsy turvy lately!  Thank you so much for your understanding and I promise I will report what's been going on soon.  Still recovering from it all....

J and I are doing just fine, except that the heat in AZ is not being nice this summer.  Usually August is monsoon season which means about 3 pm every day we get a 20+ minute rain shower which cleans everything up and cools everything off.  This year - not so much.  Don't know what the deal is, but I miss my monsoons! 

I'm sorry to keep everything under wraps and to be soooooooooo MIA, but I have my reasons.  I will let you know soon for sure!  Stick with me folks....there's adventure ahead of us....I'm sure of it!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I have nothing to say, but I have everything to say

Hi folks. 

I'm a little quieter, I realize. 

There's a lot going on and I'm just waiting it out.

Blogger is having issues emailing the blogs out. 

I did post quite a bit last week.

I guess I'm just a little disappointed this morning that I have lost a couple followers, possibly because I've gone a bit quiet.  I'm sorry that I haven't been sharing as openly as usual, but there is just a lot going on right now and we're trying to deal and catch our breath.

I'm still here.  I'm fine.  J is fine.  Everybody is fine. Just busy and a bit overwhelmed. 

Will be back soon.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The protective vibe, I dig it

Hello again dearest Bleeps.  See I haven't deserted you!  This one won't be very long, but I've been thinking about it a lot.

Again, I'm going to talk about J.  He has made me laugh so much lately.  He's truly been a gem through all of this stuff.  Helping me during the retrieval when everything hurt or I needed food.  But ever since the transfer on July 28th, he's been uber-protective.

You may remember that the doc told me to not exercise or do anything strenuous for 5 days after transfer.  Well, after that we were in Pinetop so there was no working out.  But he made sure he did all the heavy lifting.  He was watchful of where I was, that I was fed, watered and had a restroom nearby.  Even though our 5 day period is over, he's still very watchful over me.  I went to put something in the mail yesterday and he said, "I can do that." I appreciate the gesture, but I'm not dead...I can walk 20 feet to the mailbox in 30 seconds of 105 degree heat.  If I'm pregnant, I'm gonna have to do a lot more than that!!  However, it is very sweet and I appreciate that he wants to make sure he is helping as much as possible.

If he is this protective and we don't know the results, what is he going to be like when we find out we are pregnant?! I hope we find out!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

One more Pinetop story

After yesterday's post, I was kindly reminded by MBM that I forgot one story that needs to be documented.

First, let's set the scene....this is a picture MBM's hubby took of Hawley Lake. 
Beautiful, eh?

On Thursday, we went up to Hawley lake to see J's parents who were up there camping for the week.  We went down to the edge of the lake to fish for a while with MBM and her family, as well as my MIL.  J and FIL had gone out on the boat.  We fished.  And we fished.  And we fished.  And not even a nibble.  So after a while, we got bored of fishing.  We decided to do some crawdad fishing.  J and I had done this last year at Hawley lake and it was great fun.

What you do is put a good little chunk of bacon on the hook of your fishing rod and then dip it in the water near the shore of the lake.  The crawdads come out of between the rocks, clamp on to the bacon and then you pull them out of the water and shake them loose in a bucket.  We began to do this and were having a lot of luck, even got the kiddos involved and catching some. 

 In case you don't know what a crawdad looks like, this is a photo.  They are kind of mini-lobsters.

Here's a crawdad fishing photo MBM's hubby took of all of us. 

Meanwhile, we had just had lunch and the food was sitting in a grocery bag by the shore.  MBM's hubby was keeping watch, but every so often would walk away to tend to one of the kids.  As food does attract animals, we had a squirrel who was very interested in what was in the bag.  So every so often we'd hear the bag rustle and dag-nabit if that squirrel wasn't in the bag.  So MBM's hubby would run up and shoo him away and try to do something else so he couldn't get our food.  But he was a persistent little bugger.  The food was hung in the tree (although, I'm not sure how he thought that was a good plan seeing as squirrels naturally climb trees), and the food was even wrapped in a towel and put in the bag, but that squirrel already knew it was there so he kept coming back. 

At one point, MBM's oldest son (Big E) had grown weary of crawdad fishing so he had just put his child's fishing rod (kind of a toy fishing rod) down on the bank with the bacon attached to it.  By this time, MBM and I had wandered pretty far down the bank because we had caught a bunch and were cleaning out the crawdad population so we needed new area.  MBM's hubby and youngest son (Lil E) had come with us.  Pretty soon, Big E comes down and says, "Daddy, the squirrel is back!"  So MBM's hubby takes off to get the squirrel out of the food.  What Big E didn't tell us was that instead of getting the food in the bag, the squirrel was actually getting the bacon on Big E's hook!

So MBM's hubby rushes back to find the dag-nabit squirrel holding the bacon filled hook between his little paws and going to town on the bacon. Now he didn't want the squirrel to hurt himself on that hook so he picked up the pole and tried to yank the hook away, however at that same moment the squirrel was taking a bite and MBM's hubby actually caught the squirrel on the hook!  Well then the little guy freaked out because I'm guessing he had never had that happen before and took off running.  This caused the line on the kid's fishing pole to take off too and because it was a cheap little pole it wasn't the easiest to stop. 

So MBM's hubby is trying to reel the line in so he can get the hook out of the squirrel but at the same time (realizing the humor in the situation) trying to grab his camera out of his back pocket.  And neither was going very well!  Eventually, MBM's hubby (who apparently I need to come up with a name for!) gave up on the reel and just grabbed the line and started bringing the squirrel in to him so he could figure out how to get the hook out of the little bugger's cheek.  Apparently the squirrel didn't thing this was the best idea so just as he was about 2 feet from MBM's hubby, he made one last mad dash away and out came the hook.  The hook was pretty clean, no patch of fur or anything, but somewhere at Hawley lake there is a squirrel with a hole in his cheek! 

Here's a photo MBM's hubby took before the incident escalated!
Cute little guy eh?  He's a demon that one!

Anyway, MBM's hubby now has a story that I would bet few people have to share.  He caught a squirrel on a fishing hook!

Now are you happy MBM?! Love ya!

Oh and as for the crawdads, we had quite the little feast. 

Here's one cooked.  I know he looks big but he really doesn't have that much meat. 

After probably catching 75-85 crawdads and after probably an hour of MBM and I taking the shell off them and cleaning them, it only amounted to this much to eat. 
However, it was a lovely side item to our steak for dinner.

Great times...and I could see it happening again next year...we'll see if there's a few extra children along for the ride!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Home from Pinetop

No dearest Bleeps, I haven't fallen off the planet.  I've been up in Northern Arizona where they haven't discovered internet yet.  They have internet, but the cabin we rented for a week didn't have wifi so we had a vacation from technology for a bit and it was wonderful! 

Our little vacation was just what we needed, although it wasn't all that calm.  It was me, J, MBM, MBM's hubby and their kids for 2 days.  Then the rest showed up...MBM's Mom and Dad, MBM's hubby's Mom and Dad, MBM's bro-in-law and her niece (MBM's sister was at a work thing).  Plus we also saw J's parents while we were there, had J's BFF from HS with us, saw a couple of my Mom and Dad's BFFs.  Then on the way home we met my parents half-way and had lunch with them, and left them to see J's grandparents.  That's A LOT of family.  The only people we didn't see were both of my grandmothers.  Other than that, we saw everyone!  But it was great fun.  The weather was cooler and we were with people we love.  What more can take your mind of embies growing in my belly?  Even though everyone wanted to know about Eenie and Mo!  But they ask because they care!

A couple funny stories from our trip...

The first night the rest of the family arrived we had a big dinner out planned.  The restaurant saw us coming because they put us in a room all by ourselves, 9 adults and 3 kiddos (ages 5, 3, and 2).  Dinner was fine and good, but as children do they got a little bored and ended up running around the deserted room (save for us).  I looked at J and he looked a little worried.  At one point he leaned over to me and said, "If we have twins, you are NEVER leaving me alone with both of them at the same time!"  I laughed and said, "that street goes both ways buddy, then you can never leave me!  We'll figure it out."  He was truly terrified though.

I don't quite remember what night it was but we were all hanging around outside and I realized it was time for my shot so I went inside to prepare.  MBM's bro-in-law had been in his room and when he came out I was filling my syringe.  Now what you must know is that MBM bro-in-law is not only a police officer, but a rather high ranking police officer in a very scary division of the department.  I have never seen a man tense up so much when he saw that needle.  He practically screamed, "what the hell are you doing?!"  I said, "my shot!"  This was followed with a variety of questions such as, "where does that go?" and "how far does it go in?" and "why, why, WHY?"  I finally said, "you chase bad guys all the time and this little needle freaks you out?  You have people shoot at you and this needle makes you dance like I have never seen before?"  He replied, "I would rather chase down a crack head than put that thing anywhere in my body!"  For the rest of the weekend, whenever he looked at me he kind of did an inner shudder thinking about the needle.  So much for big tough guy! (smile)

And on our last night there, we just made dinner at the cabin because we had lots of various leftovers. MBM and I had prepared most of it, so to us that meant we didn't have to do the dishes.  After they sat there for a while we both started to wonder what the deal was.  We were inside staring at the kitchen with our arms crossed and MBM's Dad came up and stood next to us to see what we were looking at.  We both started laughing.  Then I couldn't stop.  So they started laughing at me.  Finally, I got it under control and we decided to see how many people we could get to join us standing there.  Sure enough, here comes MBM's bro-in-law trying to figure out what we were staring at.  And again, I just started laughing and couldn't stop...laughing so hard tears were rolling down my cheeks.  I haven't laughed that hard for a while.  Somehow it was just so funny to me and so needed!

As you can tell, we had a wonderful trip and it was just what the doctor ordered!

In other quick news, I'm feeling fine, still crampy and sore.  But otherwise fine.  Will let you know when we know.  Have a wonderful week Bleaders!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

How am I feeling?

I've had this question quite often in the past couple days and usually my answer is "fine" or "I don't know."  And that really sums it all up....night Bleeps! 

Just kidding...

For the most part I have no qualms except that I am a bit tired but I can chalk that up to many things.  The cramps and sore "ladies" I can only equate to one thing.  ONE.  THING.  Take a wild gander.  Sunday night I actually had some pretty harsh pain in my abdomen about midnight but no blood, similar to when my cyst ruptured but not quite as intense.  Called Dr. H on Monday and emailed Holly (yay, she has returned!) to make sure everything was okay.  Nurse Pamela relayed the message from Dr. H saying it was probably just implantation and that's good.  Holly said that because of everything going on down there, it could have been a myriad of things, and my body and brain are focusing on the uterus.  So not to worry on both counts.

Then, talked to a friend told me today and that she had had severe cramping before her first child was born and she didn't know she was preggers, to the point of a doc visit.  So not to stress about the cramping. 

I did try to sleep on my belly last night (that's my favorite way to sleep) and I couldn't bear it because the "ladies" were screaming at me! 

A quick note on to POAS (pee on a stick) or not before the blood test.  J and I have discussed and we have opted not to do this.  I feel in my heart that it will be positive, but I also don't trust my body or home pregnancy tests anymore.  I fear that it will pop up negative and dash my spirit.  And we've been told it can show a false positive because it is earlier than you would usually take a test like this.  So, the appointment with the lab is scheduled and we'll both be together when we get the results. 

Now, after we are told we are preggers, you can bet that I'll be peeing on sticks left and right to finally see that 2nd pink line I've been looking for for so long.

My eyelids are drooping fertility friends.  So I am off...don't worry about me if I fall off the radar a bit.  Just need a little time to collect my thoughts.  Back soon and appreciate you all SOOOOOOOOO very much!

ps: Holly loved the names we gave to our embies....Eenie and Mo! (yay ME!)

Monday, August 1, 2011

Welcome to Nikus' Belly Eenie and Mo!

I know that is a weird title but things are a little weird around here lately.  Who knew when I was trying to get preggers with my hubby's baby there would need to be 7 people in the room?!  Not me for sure!

So let's discuss yesterday (actually last Thursday - couldn't get the blog to email out - so read this as if I posted it on July 29th, which I did) didn't "quite" go to plan, but it still worked out.

First, if you saw the previous post you know I was up at 3 am because I had to pee and then my brain "booted up" and there was no more sleep in my future.  So rolled around in bed for a while, then finally got up to blog because that was part of what was rolling around in my head.  Blogged til about 4:30 am, tried to go back to sleep for about a half hour before I had to be up for boot camp (no success there) and finally gave up and got ready for boot camp.  Out of the house a little early, water in hand.  Silently wondered, "will this be enough water?  I'm supposed to drink double."  And by the time I got near boot camp my water was almost empty (all 32 ounces GONE) so I swung by the gym and filled up the bottle, then raced back to the park where when I arrived and got out of the car Meanie Christinie, Lobster and Robot all started doing the happy dance for me!  I seriously love those ladies!  That was followed by hugs from each one - start counting, there were a lot of those on Thursday.  Took it kinda easy at boot camp, no running, half-assed it a bit much to Meanie's dismay and Doc's orders, and then we were done.  Another hug from each of them - now we're at 6, and off to the gym to get dressed.  Good thing I went and got water because I downed the second at boot camp!

Dropped my stuff in the locker room and since the shower was in use, I went out to eat my apple and found some friends, Kris (a different trainer) gave me a hug and I said, "today's the day!"  He smiled and said, "you are in my prayers!"  Then Trainer came over and just very silently gave me a great hug, whispering in my hear, "today will be a good day!" and I said, "today will be a GREAT day!"  Finally, shower was free and away I went.  Quick healthy breakfast that I had brought with me afterwards and off to Acupuncture.  So now we're at 8 hugs?

Met my acupuncturist and we did our thing there, feelin' really good now.  I listen to my Circle & Bloom IVF meditations during acu, so that relaxed me a lot.  Jetted out of there after a hug from Debi (that's number 9) and home to get some work done.

Got some things done and pretty soon looked at the clock to realize it was noon and I wasn't done.  Wrapped things up as best I could and ran downstairs to start peeling eggs (remember, I was taking Deviled Eggs again) when J came home from work.  So he walks in and I am eating lunch, shelling eggs and drinking water like a mad woman.  Finally 12:30 pm hits and my alarm on my phone signified it was time for Valium (my "happy" pill).  Now I'm on to the "deviling" part of the egg and I start to get woozy from the Valium.  Thankfully, deviled eggs are easy and I could finish quickly before the drugs really kicked in.  But I really started to feel drunk...having not been drunk for a while, it was interesting!  And then it was time for us to go.

Filled the water bottle again and downing it on the way to Dr. H for our appointment at 1:30 pm.  Walked in and didn't even have to give them my name as J handed them the eggs, they knew (mission accomplished!).  Almost immediately, we got walked back to the room where I had been retrieved, however this time J was with me and there were no needles involved.  Here's my feet in the stirrup boots...
I thought it was humorous that my toes matched the booties!  Anyway, Nurse Pamela checked my bladder with the ultrasound machine to see if it was full enough and it was not (even though I had had 4 bottles of water already, but peed in between...but not since 12:30!) so J refilled my bottle and down it went in 10 minutes.  Nurse Pamela came back and deemed us ready.  In comes Dr. H, another doc, Nurse Pamela and we're ready to go.  Then as Dr. H is telling me the exact procedure (which I felt none of thanks to Mr. Valium) the "drive-thru" like window behind him opened and there's the lab and the lab tech with our embryos.  Dr. H preps me and Nurse Pamela is holding the ultrasound thing to my belly so we can see the catheter go in, then he says, "I'm ready!" and out come the embryos in their tube.  We all watch the screen...I don't know about J, but I don't think I was breathing.  We were told when they were released there would be a flash, which was the liquid being deposited and sure enough there was.  They checked the catheter to make sure both embryos came out and they did, closed me down and now it's time to wait for about 15 minutes to give them some time to get comfy.  I decided to name them Eenie and Mo (you know like..."eenie, meenie, miney, mo").  They also gave us a picture of our little ones....
How weird is that?  I have my first baby pictures!  Ha, I finally beat the Fertile Myrtles, they have to wait for the first ultrasound, I get to look at mine under a huge microscope before they even go in!  Finally, I win! (smile)  The only instructions Dr. H gave us was no BDing or exercise for 5 days, and to eat healthy. 

We wait and now I'm counting down the seconds because I really (I mean R-E-A-L-L-Y) have to pee.  Finally, deemed okay to get up and I asked J to double check that peeing was allowed to which he told me, "yes, Nurse Pamela says in an hour."  Now my hubby is a jokester but at that point, I wasn't believing it.  I made him tell me three times and finally he relented and said, "you can go now" and I heard Nurse Pamela laughing behind the door at my relief!  I released my overly full bladder, gave a sigh of relief, got dressed, checked out, gave them my credit card so they could make the hole in it bigger, and away we went home.  Texted a crowd of people on our way home to let them know all was well and got a SLEW of texts back - thanks to all!  Had a little healthy snack and finally up the stairs to bed because the 3 am wake-up and Valium were working together to make me tired.  Slept for about 2 hours and then woken up by J to get ready for Dad and Mom to pick me up to go to the Healing Mass.

J left to go wash my car (he does take care of me) and pretty soon the doorbell rang and it was time to go.  Mom and Dad (again, 2 hugs here so we're at 11?) and I went to Chipotle for dinner, where I had the salad and lots of good, healthy toppings then to Mass.  The Healing Mass always tugs at my heartstrings and makes me cry, not to mention all the meds I am on.  So of course that was going on.  It wasn't quite as insightful as the last one, but still served its purpose well and made me feel that not only are my parents behind me in all this, but God is too.  Finally got home about 8:45 pm, more hugs from Mom and Dad (13 if you are still counting) and inside to find J.

Now this is where the day went a bit pear-shaped.  What I didn't know was that when J took my car to wash it, on his way back it died.  Flat out died!  He pushed it to the side of the road and being the good magician mechanic that he is, he investigated and tried to figure out what was happening.  Thinking it was the alternator, he WALKED probably half a mile home to get his truck and our boat battery to try and jump my vehicle.  Back to my vehicle and couldn't jump it.  Put the boat battery in and he got it started.  Raced home and got it into the garage just as it died.  Then he had to WALK the half mile again back to his truck and drive home.  So he was beat when I got home.  Was able to get my truck started this morning by charging the battery all night and to the dealership where we hope they can fix it.  I'm (and he is) just glad it happened to him and not me!  I'm already seeing the effects of people doting on me, which I must say isn't bad.  I've had numerous people say today, "you get out of this heat" and "do you need a chair?"  Me likey!

About 10 pm we decided we had had enough and went to bed.  I said good night to the pups.  The cat.  The hubby.  And for the first time, Eenie and Mo.  Let's hope it isn't the last.

I wish I could say today was calm, but it really wasn't. J got the car to the dealership and don't quite know what the deal is yet, but very thankful it is under warranty.  Had an appointment that took forever this morning, then came home to catch up on work, and finally I'm ready to relax a bit.  Dinner with the folks tonight and mani-pedi tomorrow!  Time to sign off for now...will update with any news or thoughts...look for "to test or not to test" soon...