Thursday, October 28, 2010

Ring or No Ring, and the Bar or the CFP

Hello I am day two of class and still homework until tomorrow...who gives homework on Friday night?!  Really?!

Class was better today.  Father-of-twins was quieter and we progressed faster into harder material, some of which still has me spinning.  Professor got off on LESS tangents then yesterday and we were at a good cruising altitude.  About 11 am we took a break and while walking out with Government-guy, he looked a little bewildered, I asked if he was okay and he just said it was a lot to cover.  Back to class, more learning, finally time for lunch.  Again, zipped down the road to get Paradise Bakery, half sandwich and salad - very yum, plus snickerdoodle cookie AND chocolate chip (but only ate snickerdoodle to make Dietician (not Nutritionist) happy).  Apparently Nutritionists and Dieticians aren't the same thing, was scolded by Meanie Christinie, so must clarify. Nutritionist will now be referred to as Dietician.  :)  (LOVE YOU MEANIE!) 

Starting again in class...afternoon passed rather quickly and all of the sudden  then it was finally time to go home.  Stopped at Souper Salad on my way home and got too much food, but didn't eat half of it.  Now having my allowed glass of wine and blogging before Grey's Anatomy starts.  Good day, but would rather be home.

So in yesterday's blog, I mentioned that Father-of-twins in my class didn't have a wedding ring on.  I feel the need to clarify here.  I'm not against people out of wedlock having children, whatever works in your situation, go for it.  Just not a fan of those not giving Wifey credit where credit is due, or Girlfriend, Fiance, Mistress, whatever.  Obviously he didn't give birth, unless there's new technology out there that I am not aware of.  So when Father-of-twins never said "we" or "she" when he mentioned the babies, just "I just had 2 new babies," so struck me as odd.  Finally, heard him today mention his "wife" and then the no ring thing made me a bit angrier.  I'm not a fan of the wife wears a ring but the hubby doesn't.  How is that fair?  Just seems like a lack of respect to me.  What are your thoughts Bleaders?

Now to comment a bit more on this, and maybe I am reading too far into Father-of-twins situation.  J doesn't wear his ring to work and I am fine with that.  Mainly, because of his job it is a safety hazard and if the metal touches hot metal, he could turn into a 9 fingered man instead of the 10 fingered man---where I'd much rather he be!  So I get that.  J always wears his ring on the weekends, well until doesn't fit anymore.  His fingers have gotten a little thicker it seems.  I won't tolerate it much longer, we'll get the ring fixed or tattooed or something!  Maybe Father-of-twins has the same issue, his ring doesn't fit.  But for whatever reason, it just bothered me.  Thoughts folks?  Ring or no ring?

Whenever I explain the CFP to someone, I explain it as the Bar for Financial Advisors, because few people outside of the industry or without Financial Advisors know what it is, but everyone knows what the Bar is.  When class started yesterday and we were discussing the CFP (for those new comers CFP stands for Certified Financial Advisor and is a 18 month to 4 year process, 6 years in Father-of-twins situation and about 2.5 in mine, that is one of the hardest credentials to get in my field, very good to have), and as we were discussing how the test is about to change (adding a 6th class, and having the comprehensive test include essay instead of just multiple choice) I said it sounded more and more like the Bar exam.  The class agreed.

My BFF passed the Bar last year (YAY MELSLAW) and I don't know if comparing the Bar to the CFP offends her (she has never said so and believe me, she would - we have a very honest relationship) for any reason.  I don't know why it would.  From what I understand, the Bar is 1)required by law, 2)isn't all multiple choice, 3)takes 2-3 days, 4)takes forever to grade, and is 5)very painful and hard, with varying degrees of difficulty depending on the state it is taken in.  The CFP is 1)not required by law, 2)is all multiple choice, 3)takes 1.5 days, 4)takes forever to grade, and is 5)very painful and hard, but the same in every single state.

Some might think that since the CFP is multiple choice it might be easier than an essay test, which the Bar has some/all of.  Having never taken either, I can't say which is easier.  But I can say that the testers of the CFP like to make tricky questions that test your ability to test, and somewhat you know about the actual questions.  However, the difference that was brought up yesterday is that the Bar is all about the law.  ALL about aspects of the LAW.  The CFP is about some law (the parts that we as CFP can discuss), some accounting, some taxes (the parts that we as CFP can discuss), some financial planning, some estate planning, some insurance, some investments, some group benefits, some calculations, some retirement planning AND how all those things come together to build a comprehensive financial plan for a client.  All crammed into 300 some odd questions and 10 hours of test.  Wanna join me yet? :)

So if anyone doesn't like me comparing the Bar to the CFP, please don't take offense, I just use that to explain to Joe Schmo what I am doing, but for a different industry.  I did it when I was a Paraplanner too, since no one knew what that was, but they knew what a Paralegal was.  Financial advice is not a new field, but definitely newer than Attorneys.  And hopefully just as respected...well, maybe a little more respected (no offense meant - just joking!).  :)

Night folks...

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Guiliana & Bill UPDATE (Spoiler alert) and Day 1 of CFP Cram Class

Hello my lovlies...I'm breathing, so far anyway.  First we'll start with the latest Guiliana & Bill, then move on to my first day.

I watched Guiliana & Bill on Tuesday during my lunch, sans J because he wasn't home, nor was he in the same city.  He was actually in Phoenix for a class for his work (and now I am in Phoenix for my classes).  Anyway, I watched but didn't delete so he could see the end.  Anyway, mostly the show talks about the new house they bought that is a complete shell and needs a complete overhaul and how Guiliana can't participate with Bill and the contractor and the interior designer because she doesn't know the language, plus a new endeavor Guiliana is involved in.  Blah, blah, blah.  About minute 54 of the hour show, they finally get to the infertility party.  Guiliana says she doesn't feel well while at lunch with a friend, and then the next thing we know G&B are at the doc's office and the door is shut.  End result, they have lost the baby and G&B are devastated.

I've never been in that situation so I won't even pretend that I even kind of understand that kind of pain.  To have been pregnant and to not be anymore seems unbearable.  I'll be very interested to see how next week's show goes and how they recover and heal from this very sad situation.  I feel for them and am hoping that this all works out for them, just like I hope it will work out for us.

Okay, now on to how my first cram day went.  Don't know that I'll be able to write every night, but I have the time tonight.  I won't say I was nervous this morning because of the class, because I knew that today wasn't the test, but I was interested to see how the day would progress.  Got in right on time and the other students were already there...both of them.  Yes, this is a class of 3, possibly 4.  There are classes all across the country for this test, but this is the only one in Arizona.  I looked at all of them, their costs, our costs (for hotel/airline/etc), and how much personal attention I would get.  After a lot of emails to each of the companies, I fell on this one because it was close to home and was a small class giving me more personal attention, which is what I felt I needed most (and which I have already utilized a lot!).  So when I walked in today and there were 2 other students, both of them men, I didn't know how to feel.  This class would have a max of 10 people, but apparently no one told them that.

Class got underway and it was slow going to start...lots of questions from the other participants and not very much forward progress.  About lunch I began to get worried because we hadn't progressed to even the first chapter of work that was on the schedule.  We broke for lunch and I bolted to get something (as there was nothing right at the school) so found a Chick-fil-A not far away and got back to class just about 5 minutes before class began again.  Crammed my sandwich and salad (had asked my nutritionist if I could have fries, and I got shot down!) down my throat and headed back to class pretty much still chewing.  We jumped right in, even though one of the participants was still MIA, his fault, not ours.  Finally started to make some progress, but still a lot of questions.  Finally came out that the guy (probably my age - says he has 2 new babies, but no wedding ring on) who had been asking so many questions had been working on the CFP for 6 years (I've been on it for about 2.5 years) and had spent a grand total of 3 hours with the books that I have been plastered to for the last 2.5 months!  Now it makes sense why he has SOOOOOO many questions, he doesn't know the material.  At least there is one person in the world that I know more than!  The other guy, a little bit of an older guy works for the government and again, hasn't spent all that much time with the material.  Person number 2 that I maybe know a little more than.  Can't we just grade me on how good I do in this class as compared to the other 2 participants?!  I'd pass with flying colors!

Anyway, wrapped up class not too far off base, and walked out with the professor.  Bantered back and forth a bit about the students, my questions, my qualms, and he said I need to have more faith in me because he isn't worried about me passing all.  I'll be okay if I can not stress out DURING the test - a feat that I would love to do.  Prof said that he knows a guy who has taken this test 15 times!  15  times!  He would just over analyze things and not get through the test.  Also told us about a guy who took the test 5 times because he got so stressed out when it came to testing, and only passed it the last time because his doc prescribed a relaxation medication.  And the last story I'll recount to you was the guy who went through the whole test and never marked an answer on the scantron sheet (only put his answer in the margin) and when he was told time up, just put a big dark line through one whole column of letters and left for the day.  Next day at the test, you can bet he didn't do that again, and amazingly enough, he passed!  Must have rocked the last 2 sections and had God on his side on day 1.  And final statistic before I log off for the night, the last test that was taken in July had a 43% pass rate!  43%!  Holy cow!  That has to be the LOWEST ever.  Could be a good thing for me in that the Board makes the test a bit easier so their average goes up, or bad in that the Board is happy with that statistic and they keep it the same. 

And last follow-up...well, almost.  In response to my question of where my readers are, I had a couple responses and I'm being read in my city by people other than my friends (YAY!), Milwaukee, Canada, England and South Africa, among other places where my friends live.  That is awesome!  Thanks folks for reading.  You rock my world!

Hopefully talk to you folks tomorrow!  Have a great day!

Sunday, October 24, 2010


I lead an amazing life.  I'm talking about the people that are around me.  I am very blessed to have MANY people around me who raise me up when I am low.  I had the opportunity to spend time with some of those folks today.  And they have been in my life for over half of it which is quite amazing to me.  But let me begin at the beginning...

I met Kim my freshman year of high school and if I recall, we immediately clicked.  I was in a group of friends with which I really didn't feel I fit, and Kim scooped me up and introduced me to new people who quickly became good friends (many of whom I am still friends with today).  It wasn't long before I was a fixture at Kim's house, and I realized where she got her "scooping" abilities.  Her family did the same thing.  They scooped me into theirs.  As I was 15 at the time, I didn't feel right calling her parents Cheryl or Dan, or Mr. or Mrs., so I adopted Mamma and  Dad the time it just seemed easier, but it stuck.  I still call them that to this day.  Her sister also got looped into my extended family, which I am very happy about.  They've been around for many things.  We've taken family vacations together...some where Kim came and met my family somewhere, some where both families went in their entirety and some where parts of each family went, but not the whole thing.  There have been lots of laughs, lots of accomplishments, some tears, and some goodbyes.  But through it all, I knew that Kim's family was behind me just as much as my own was.  That is truly a blessing.

My Mom always joked that she and my Dad were not enough, so I adopted parents, and that truly wasn't the case.  I just liked loving a lot of folks!  (I actually have another set that I also call Mom and Dad Ryan, but we'll get to them in a different post).  And I didn't have siblings, something that I longed for as a child, so I created my own.  To date, I have 4 sisters, one brother and 3 sets of parents.  Not bad for an only child!

Anyway, today was spent at Mamma and Dad's house (well, a portion of the day - I still had studying to do) with J to celebrate my "sister" Jenn's daughter's first birthday.  Lil M (my "niece") was born last year just before Halloween and to say she is a gem is an understatement.  She's so calm and pleasant...not what some one-year-olds are.  She has two older cousins (Kim's sons) who are quite rowdy, and Lil M holds her own.  Even though I don't see her a whole lot, she falls into my arms every time without a cry or scream, and I get my "baby fix" as Jenn's hubby calls it.  I could eat her up...but I won't!  It was a wonderful party with lots of family, friends, food, and of course, a one-year-old shoving lots of cake in her face.

Earlier in the day, I had run across the below photo of Kim and I at our Senior Prom in high school (I'm on the left, Kim is on the right).  It made me laugh and I brought it with me to the party, to share with her and her family.  They all chuckled at how old the photo was and smiled at the fact that we were still so close.

 After a while, I sat in the living room, and looked around at the people that were there.  I remembered many times spent in that living room, watching movies in the middle of a slumber party, gossiping over boys, wondering where we would be later in our lives, whatever.  I thought back to those times and thought that I would never have believed 15 years ago that I would be sitting in that same room, with those same people, watching their children run around.  It was awe inspiring.  I'm very grateful that these people scooped me into their lives, and never let me go.  And when I married J, he got scooped in too.

These people have given me more things that I could ever count.  I call them my family, and perhaps someday they will legally become my family if need be (Kim and Jenn have both offered me their bellies if we need them to have a child).  I don't know what the future brings, but either way they are still my extended family and I am very grateful for them.

This is another photo I ran across of the ladies of the family that expresses to perfection, how our days together are spent...Mamma is on the left (always laughing which is contagious), Jenn is in the middle, and Kim is on the right.  Kim was 9 months pregnant here and we were having a shower for another one of our friends from HS.  What do you take from their expressions?

Jenn took a great photo of Lil M and me today.  When I get it, I promise to post it.  Have a great week folks and I hope that you are as blessed as I am with the people in your lives.

UPDATE:  As promised, here is the photo of Lil M giving me "kisses."  Isn't she a doll?!  I love her so much!


Friday, October 22, 2010

"Where are you from?" and "A little less weighted"

Hi folks, these days I am lucky to get one blog out a week!  Sorry 'bout that, but we're getting close to the end here...November 19 and 20, if you have any affection for me, please send out big prayers for me to be calm and pass CFP (aka big nasty) on those days.  But enough of that....

First off, I was made aware that I have another international reader!  Shell lives in England and somehow found me!!  That's awesome!  So that made me wonder...where are the rest of you from?  If you don't want to post it, that's fine, but would you please do me a kudos and email me please?  I'm very interested!  Thanks Bleaders!

Now, "a little less weighted."  No, unfortunately I haven't lost weight, that I know of and that isn't what this is about.  For the past few months year 5 years, I have been worried about CFP.  When I passed the last class in August, I got more worried because now that was the true challenge in front of me.  Sure, the classes were part of it, but CFP is really the Comprehensive Exam that is next month.  When people reference "the CFP" that is what they are speaking of. 

When I started reviewing the materials that I got for the cram course (which is NEXT WEEK!) in August, I was very worried.  I mean, I had read it all before, but some of it was so very long ago that it took a while to come back.  I plowed through, often bitching so someone would tell me "you'll be fine" (and I'm sure you ladies know who you are).  Just as I would get to a point where I felt okay about it, I would hit another road block and get worried all over again.  There have been tears, anger, frustration and just plain insanity it seems!  And when you add in the normal day-to-day things of a wife and a financial advisor, I've felt very under-water some days...especially when there's drama at the office. 

However, as of late, the drama at the office is no longer (very thankfully they "left the building") and the weight resting upon my shoulders went with them (again, very thankfully).  So that is a little less weight.  But as I wrapped up the last book of the cram stuff this week, and the last of the practice tests today (with the exception of the practice final), I'm actually starting to feel better about this whole thing.  Don't get me wrong, I am still scared about how it all will play out and how much I'll drink between the time I take the test and the time I get my score (ummm...1.5 months, including over Christmas!), but I don't sweat as much when I look at my books or don't pass a practice exam the first time. 

My cram course is next week and I am very hopeful that it will put everything in perspective and help me relax even more.  It also helps that my boss is really great, and is letting me not work from when I get home from the cram course to the exam so I can study full time.  Hopefully it won't be a practice that needs repeating in March (when the CFP is offered after November - if I don't pass).  I have discussed a schedule for studying those days with previous test takers and BAR test takers, so I don't get distracted.  And I plan to be able to do these things in my sleep so when the test comes along, it's like another day in my home office. 

I know this test will not define me.  Nor will failing it...or passing it for that matter.  I'll be beyond enthused whenever I pass, this year or next.  But I need to remember that it is just a test.  An extremely hard test, but still just a test. 

I'm writing this out now, while I am calm, because I can anticipate that disappearing sometime in the next month as CFP dates draw closer and closer.  I know I'll need feel free to do that.  I know in the back of my head that once the book on CFP is closed, we can focus all of our attention on baby-making and whatever road that will take us on, but for now I really need to keep that out of my mind.  That will add weight and I don't need that now.  I'm still planning on working out because not only will that get me out of bed in the morning, but it is great stress relief, that I am positive I will need. 

So dear Bleaders, if you don't hear from me for a while (I'm trying to at least blog once a week), don't worry, I'm still here somewhere.  I appreciate all the love you folks generate for me, that that you tell me and that that you don't.  More than you'll ever know!

Hope you all have a great weekend and GO ARIZONA WILDCATS (it's Homecoming weekend)!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Accomplishments, Absent and A+ to Mass Media

Hello Bleaders!  I'm sure I will say this again, but don't think I forgot about y'all, just crazy busy studying for CFP (aka big nasty), so haven't been blogging as regularly as I like.   I would love to say it will end soon, but not for a while - like a month.  CFP test is November 19-20 (yes, 2 days!) and I'll be in Phoenix for a cram session the last week of October (so don't get upset or worried...I'm probably alive :)  ).  So that covers the "Absent" in the title.

Now, accomplishments.  I have 30 followers!  That is huge!  I would have loved to achieve that by my 30th birthday, but that was almost a year ago, so no dice.  (Oh yeah, my birthday is 3 days after CFP is over!).  I know there are some people that "read" (i.e. receive via email) but don't "follow" technically, so I am over it by a little bit, but I am still very appreciative of my THIRTY followers and my ELEVEN people who get the email I guess I am over my 30 number by a little more.  Anyway, I thank you all...I love you all...and hopefully one day I'll be able to call you all and tell you we're pregnant personally!  Just not today.

Now on that note, I found out this week something that makes me VERY happy.  One of my followers posted a comment and in it she let me know she was reading from South Africa!  Holy cow, I'm global!  "Hello Heather, can you hear me all the way there?!"  It was so excited that we had connected, and she is great!  I would love to go to South Africa some day (not just to meet her, but just to go!) but I'm afraid it won't be for a while.  For now, thanks Heather for finding me and I wish you luck on your journey...we're all in it together!

And last but not least, A+ to Mass Media.  I am a BIG watcher of Grey's Anatomy (much to J's dismay - he's not a fan of the doctor shows and usually disappears into the garage) and Private Practice.  Now, Private Practice has always made me proud...since day 1.  It is a scripted show pretty much dedicated to infertility, adoption, acupuncture, OBGYN and pediatricians.  I will say that some things happen there that probably don't in my OB's office (um...Meth house explosions, sex on desks between doctors, etc.) but I like the basic premise and the drama...again, J is in the garage. 

However, I don't think Private Practice has the viewership of Grey's Anatomy...which, if you don't watch...what is wrong with you?!  So, when Grey's did their season finale last year, or I guess earlier this year, the main doctor Meredith who is married to McDreamy had a miscarriage (yes, it was when the hospital had been taken hostage by a mad man who was trying to kill McDreamy, but I digress).  Since McDreamy had been shot, she couldn't tell him right then and there, so she episodes, so what is that in "real life" 6 months, depending on the show?  Anyway, she eventually tells him after he has recovered and stops racing his car so he ends up in jail all the time, and they determine they need to go to a RE and see what is going on.  Well, that was last night's episode...the appointment with the RE who told her she has a "hostile uterus" (which thankfully I haven't been told I have ... yet!), and which leads to discussion between Derek (McDreamy) and Meredith about how to proceed (who was also worried that she would pass Alzheimer's on to the baby because her mother had that and she wanted to be tested for it too)!  WOW, a lot I know!  Anyway, McDreamy goes on to tell her that they will "have a lot of sex and hope for the best" and "if that doesn't work, we'll figure it out."  Remember, they are both doctors so (unlike me) were probably aware that infertility actually existed long before 3.25 years ago (when we realized) and what can be done to help it along. 

A-N-Y-W-A-Y, Mass Media gets an A+ because they are actually giving more attention to Infertility where people will actually see it and can maybe learn to sympathize a little.  So that makes me very proud of the writers and producers of Grey's Anatomy (and Private Practice) and any other show out there who is bringing light to this subject! 

Maybe some of the people who don't understand the issue (and say stupid things to us Infertiles) will be educated just a teeny, tiny bit.  If that happened, I would be overjoyed!  If no one ever again told me to "stand on my head after sex" or "just adopt" or "just relax" I would live a much happier life!  And on that note, I'm off for my Friday night glass of wine!

Absent - done!

Accomplishments - done!

A+ to Mass Media - done!

Peace out folks!  Have a great weekend!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Guiliana & Bill - Season 3 Opener

I've talked about Guiliana and Bill before on E!, but tonight really hit close to home.  After dealing with artificial insemination that didn't work, they decide to move on to IVF (which is our next step).  The show tonight highlighted many steps of the process.  Of course we have talked about these steps with Dr. H in detail, but actually watching someone go through them is a completely different scenario.  It was enlightening to say the least. 

A couple things about this show that I love (or maybe what this show helps happen in our house):
1.  J pays attention.  

Don't get me wrong, when we discuss things he is all there, and when we go to Dr. H's office he is all there and asks questions, but I don't think he fully comprehends what actually happens.  So watching Guiliana and Bill go through it was enlightening.  We haven't really talked about anything infertility for a LONG time, probably since we went to see Dr. H in March 2010, because at that point we decided to wait for a while...and that turned into until 2011 with "big nasty" barreling down the road at me.  So when G & B (Guiliana & Bill) started talking about IVF, J's first words were "what's IVF?"  I reminded him that it is our next step and the bank breaker, and I could see the memories come flooding back.  Of course then Guiliana went on to tell the viewer what it exactly entailed, which was a nice recap for us. J doesn't read the books, so if this is how we educate him, I'll take it.

2.  We get to see another person deal with what we are dealing with.

Sure, I can talk to my friends about what they have experienced and J can too, but we aren't sitting in the doc's office with them crossing our fingers and holding our breath.  We get that chance while watching G & B, giving me a small sample of what may lie in our future.

 3.  Not only does this give us insight, it brings light to everyone else who wants to understand what we are going through, because they were lucky enough not to experience it first hand.  

I can talk until I am blue in the face but watching someone go through the actual scenario tells things I couldn't dream of.  I tend to do more than one thing while watching TV, usually (if I am not interested in the show - ahem...NFL football, I read a magazine; and if I like the show, I knit - yes, I knit...I'm not old, my friends love the blankies I make for their kids, or so they lie to me.)  Anyway, I actually put down my knitting probably 3 times to see different things tonight...when they showed the embryos, when they put them in, and when they told G & B if they were pregnant.  (SPOILER ALERT: they are pregnant!)  I cannot tell you how often I imagine telling people we are pregnant and what I will do when someone confirms WE are pregnant!  I have a list in my head of how I will tell various don't be sad if you don't see it here first, because I want to see as many faces as I can when I tell you!  But I digress, because of this show, you get to see what happens behind the closed doors.  The emotions, however raw.  The drugs, however many.  And the procedures, however invasive.  I love it.

I love that infertility isn't becoming the "dirty-little-secret" anymore.  Because it shouldn't be something people are ashamed of.  It should involve rallying around that person and offering whatever support you can, be it belly, shoulder or prayers.

Going back to why I love this show...
4.  The real emotions are shown, not the scripted issues that someone thinks someone in that situation might have, but the actual emotions, coming out live and in full color, tears and all.  Even not drug induced emotions.  

At one point, G & B are trying to figure out when they can go through this whole process and both be in the same city, and Bill objects to the day, saying he has a commitment elsewhere.  Guiliana looks at him (and I can see her steaming), and she says,"You are unbelievable Rancic!"  The nurse comments that they aren't the first couple to argue in her office about this.  But there was no veiling of the emotions.  I need to see that stuff.  J needs to see that stuff. 

America needs to see what Infertiles will put themselves through in order to have a child so they stop telling us to stand on our head after sex or to "just adopt and then you'll get pregnant."  I know those responses are created from love, but it's not something we can do to make it better at this point.  We need help!

5.  Humor.  

We all need a little humor, especially in this situation.  G & B are really good at seeing the humorous side.  J is good at finding it when I need to be reminded.  I remember when we were first really having issues and I needed to get A LOT of blood work done.  I mentioned to him that the doctor could have built their own baby with all the blood they took from me (ummm...6 vials!) and how he just had a "sample" to drop off in a paper bag.  His response, "I'm the delivery truck, you are the factory.  The factory needs a lot more maintenance than the delivery truck."  And it was so quick!  Totally made the situation a little better, and made me feel like he didn't resent me for being in it with me - or as I probably thought at the time, with his broken wife.  G & B also remind me that there is a bright side to it all.

So once again, if you aren't in the middle of infertility struggles and want to know what our next step is, or if you are and want to see what someone else went through, I highly recommend watching Guiliana and Bill on E!.  New episodes are on Monday nights, 8 pm MST, and I am sure reruns are every other hour or something to that effect.  They also just published a book (yup, I bought it - and it came in today) about marriage and it's struggles and triumphs.  Will post on it when I get through it.

One last thing, if you want to receive this blog via email automatically when I post, just click the following link: Subscribe via email or go to the top of the blog and put your email address in the box on the left hand side and click "Subscribe."  

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think of the show!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Infertility in Modern Media

As far as I have experienced, infertility has kind of been a dirty little secret.  Nobody talks about it openly, until recently.  I am seeing more and more coverage coming out in the media.  Not just celebrities who are ponying up to the fact that they struggled with conceiving, but actual sitcoms and reality TV shows covering this issue, if not being solely dedicated to it.  Here's some recent examples:

Guiliana and Bill - If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know I have talked about these folks before.  Here's one post.  Guiliana is on E! News and her husband, Bill Rancic, won the first Apprentice eons ago and is now very successful doing something in real estate.  They have been TTC for a while now and essentially their reality show is all about the process.  For friends of mine who read this for the sole reason that they love me and don't experience infertility first hand, watching Guiliana and Bill is a great way to understand a little bit.  They have done many of the things we have and still have had no success.  Their first show of the season is on October 11th on E! at 8 pm.  They also just published a book, which of course I bought.  Once I finish, I will let you know how it was.  Their show also feels less scripted than many others out there.  J and I watch it together and one of the things I love it, is he learns something.  He isn't reading the books, so if this is the way we educate him on this stuff, I'll take it!

Rules of Engagement - This is a HYSTERICAL show that J and I watch together (there are very few that we both like equally) that is a sitcom.  It's about a married couple (Jeff and Audrey), an engaged couple (Adam and Jenn) and a single guy (Russell) who is a "player" for lack of a better term and his very well-educated assistant, Timmy.  We had been watching this show for a couple years when all of the sudden Audrey and Jeff were starting to talk about having babies and fertility treatments.  They do it in a fun way, but they also don't do it without emotion.  They have done shots, they have had artificial insemination, they have even looked for a surrogate.  It's refreshing to watch a show that is scripted talk about an issue that I am dealing with.  The show is very funny and J and I are often laughing at the same time.  But it is also very refreshing to hear about what they "feel", especially Jeff, because J can be a little tight lipped sometimes.  So for some fun and some education, go watch.  They don't talk about it every episode, but maybe every other.  It's on Monday night at 8:30 pm on CBS.

90210 - I grew up on the original "Beverly Hills 90210" show.  I even remember watching it with my parents at times and discussing what happened because it was the first show that I recall talking about teen pregnancy, underage drinking, etc. that I wanted to watch.  Well, the original ended years ago (although I can still catch it on the Soap channel every so often), but the new one has gotten addictive as well.  I didn't expect what happened on Tuesday to happen though.  I was watching it and one of the girls (Annie) started to feel as though her boss (a woman) was hitting on her because she was complimenting her on how pretty she was and how easy it was for her to stay lean.  Then, the boss' husband came into the picture and started to agree, so now Annie thinks they are swingers.  They had invited her to a BBQ that weekend and she was trying to figure out how to politely decline.  When Annie goes to tell her boss this, the lady sits her down (and at this point I saw it coming - or what I thought was going to happen) and tells her that her and her husband have been trying to conceive for a long time, and would Annie be willing to donate her eggs to the couple.  I thought they were going to ask her to be their surrogate.  But still WOW and out of the blue.  I can't wait to see this pan out!  90210 is on the CW on Tuesday night at 7 pm.

The last two shows that have brought a lot of light to the subject of infertility are The View and The Doctors.  I've had friends tell me they watched that just because of me.  It's very refreshing!  And I feel very loved.  Someone I care about is watching something so they can better understand something happening to me, or at the very least, hope they can give me a tidbit that maybe I didn't know before.  The 2nd rarely happens, but the thought is sweet.  The shows don't air regularly, but when they do, it tends to take up the whole hour. 

To finish, I'm very glad that modern media is jumping on the bandwagon and finally bringing light to this subject.  Hopefully, it will become easier to fix, or at the very least be more well-known about so people aren't afraid to talk about it or don't make asses of themselves when they try to. 

Thanks folks and have a great week!