A couple things about this show that I love (or maybe what this show helps happen in our house):
1. J pays attention.
Don't get me wrong, when we discuss things he is all there, and when we go to Dr. H's office he is all there and asks questions, but I don't think he fully comprehends what actually happens. So watching Guiliana and Bill go through it was enlightening. We haven't really talked about anything infertility for a LONG time, probably since we went to see Dr. H in March 2010, because at that point we decided to wait for a while...and that turned into until 2011 with "big nasty" barreling down the road at me. So when G & B (Guiliana & Bill) started talking about IVF, J's first words were "what's IVF?" I reminded him that it is our next step and the bank breaker, and I could see the memories come flooding back. Of course then Guiliana went on to tell the viewer what it exactly entailed, which was a nice recap for us. J doesn't read the books, so if this is how we educate him, I'll take it.
2. We get to see another person deal with what we are dealing with.
Sure, I can talk to my friends about what they have experienced and J can too, but we aren't sitting in the doc's office with them crossing our fingers and holding our breath. We get that chance while watching G & B, giving me a small sample of what may lie in our future.
3. Not only does this give us insight, it brings light to everyone else who wants to understand what we are going through, because they were lucky enough not to experience it first hand.
I can talk until I am blue in the face but watching someone go through the actual scenario tells things I couldn't dream of. I tend to do more than one thing while watching TV, usually (if I am not interested in the show - ahem...NFL football, I read a magazine; and if I like the show, I knit - yes, I knit...I'm not old, my friends love the blankies I make for their kids, or so they lie to me.) Anyway, I actually put down my knitting probably 3 times to see different things tonight...when they showed the embryos, when they put them in, and when they told G & B if they were pregnant. (SPOILER ALERT: they are pregnant!) I cannot tell you how often I imagine telling people we are pregnant and what I will do when someone confirms WE are pregnant! I have a list in my head of how I will tell various people...so don't be sad if you don't see it here first, because I want to see as many faces as I can when I tell you! But I digress, because of this show, you get to see what happens behind the closed doors. The emotions, however raw. The drugs, however many. And the procedures, however invasive. I love it.
I love that infertility isn't becoming the "dirty-little-secret" anymore. Because it shouldn't be something people are ashamed of. It should involve rallying around that person and offering whatever support you can, be it belly, shoulder or prayers.
Going back to why I love this show...
4. The real emotions are shown, not the scripted issues that someone thinks someone in that situation might have, but the actual emotions, coming out live and in full color, tears and all. Even not drug induced emotions.
At one point, G & B are trying to figure out when they can go through this whole process and both be in the same city, and Bill objects to the day, saying he has a commitment elsewhere. Guiliana looks at him (and I can see her steaming), and she says,"You are unbelievable Rancic!" The nurse comments that they aren't the first couple to argue in her office about this. But there was no veiling of the emotions. I need to see that stuff. J needs to see that stuff.
America needs to see what Infertiles will put themselves through in order to have a child so they stop telling us to stand on our head after sex or to "just adopt and then you'll get pregnant." I know those responses are created from love, but it's not something we can do to make it better at this point. We need help!
We all need a little humor, especially in this situation. G & B are really good at seeing the humorous side. J is good at finding it when I need to be reminded. I remember when we were first really having issues and I needed to get A LOT of blood work done. I mentioned to him that the doctor could have built their own baby with all the blood they took from me (ummm...6 vials!) and how he just had a "sample" to drop off in a paper bag. His response, "I'm the delivery truck, you are the factory. The factory needs a lot more maintenance than the delivery truck." And it was so quick! Totally made the situation a little better, and made me feel like he didn't resent me for being in it with me - or as I probably thought at the time, with his broken wife. G & B also remind me that there is a bright side to it all.
So once again, if you aren't in the middle of infertility struggles and want to know what our next step is, or if you are and want to see what someone else went through, I highly recommend watching Guiliana and Bill on E!. New episodes are on Monday nights, 8 pm MST, and I am sure reruns are every other hour or something to that effect. They also just published a book (yup, I bought it - and it came in today) about marriage and it's struggles and triumphs. Will post on it when I get through it.
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Thanks for reading and let me know what you think of the show!