So I was of course awake at 4 am this morning to test and through my bleary eyes it said negative. I got up again at 6:05 to get ready to go work out and took another test, and I swear there was the faintest of faint lines where line #2 should be. I've never even seen where line #2 should be before. I don't know if the ink bled or if there is a reason. So when I woke up DH to kiss him good-bye he asked and I told him quickly. We had decided last night that I would get a blood test anyway, just to be 100% sure.
I've always heard of these women that can take a pregnancy test when they are 8 months pregnant, and it still pops up negative. Now I have seen a lot (A LOT) of negative pregnancy tests in the last 2 years, but I kinda think that I might be one of these women. So wasn't terribly upset when the test said negative this morning, but you can bet your house that when the 2nd one showed something to the left, I looked at that thing a million times!
So went and worked out and then when I left the gym it was 8:15 (Dr. H's office opens at 8:30) and I was right there. So I pulled up and figured I would see if they could do a blood test today and get results before the weekend (I had already left them a message about the scenario at 6:20 am!). Sat there until I saw staff go in and listened to a bit on my radio station that I like, then went into the office. Told the receptionist my story and she said to sit and they could run a quick blood test, and have results this afternoon. So that is where we stand. Blood has been taken. Nurse was great - my veins like to roll, but they didn't. She even said that there are many women who never have a positive pee test! So again, better safe than sorry. Came home and now we wait until the call comes this afternoon.
I texted some people this morning who knew today was test day, to tell them what was happening. Lots of support and love comin' my way it sounds. Anyway, hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. Is this it? I sure hope so! But if not, we will try, try again! Thankfully I have a very supportive husband who is on the exact same page as me with wanting a baby. So thankful for him! Alright, now off for a shower. I got home from the gym late and started working without my shower. I stink of sweat! Will update later.
UPDATE: The verdict is in and it isn't good. So we begin again. Man this process sucks! What have we done to deserve such heartache and failure? I haven't cried this hard in a long time and I don't miss it! This is so painful.
Hi Nikki - Never, ever think that you & Jason have done anything to deserve any of what you are going through. God does have a wonderful plan for you both & since He has placed it in your hearts to be parents, He will fulfill your dreams - BUT in His time & His way. That took me many years (and lots of anger & tears) to understand! I highly recommend that you & Jason just take time for yourselves this weekend & pray as a couple that God will give you a peace that only He can provide. "This too shall pass!" and "He keeps His promises!"
ReplyDeleteI'm here if you ever need to talk to someone who definitely relate! Oh, I took a pee stick w/ faint lines in to the doc's office once - I'm sure he thought that was kind of gross! :)
Heather