(To be posted at a later date)
Last week was a blazer! Racked with stress, so much that I wasn't really even thinking about pregnancy, just making it out alive. And I did, thankfully.
Been having a little nausea lately. Now when I say little, I mean very little. Kind of a small wave here or there that gets my attention, and then is gone. However, this morning while eating my eggs, turkey sausage, cheese and salsa breakfast, with pears and lowfat milk, I literally had to stop chewing and contemplate running to the bathroom. It could have been the eggs just not agreeing with me, but that never happens. I had to stop, breathe and then a few minutes later I could continue. Odd, and I am trying not to get my hopes up, but maybe this is it.
Also plaguing me right now are bug bites. I went to a yard sale on Sat and was there for about 5 hours, outside, and I must have been bitten by every critter there was! I have 13 bug bites on my right leg, and 3 on my left. And talk about itching! OMG, it is ridiculous!
Back on eating right this week. I was not liking how I was feeling last week, but eating everything fried seemed to be my calling! So am back to normal now. Kim was super sweet at the yard sale and is always so supportive telling me I look great. Funny thing was is I had this dress in high school that I adored...it was a jean corset vest with this flowered, silky, flowy long skirt. At one point, I had outgrown it and gave it to Kim. Well there it was at the yard sale on Sat! So she gave it back to me and when I got home I tried it on and it fit! I need help getting the zipper up in the back because apparently I was bendier in high school, but it fit! Now just to see if it is actually in style! Also picked up some maternity jeans for free and wasn't sure they would fit because they were a Small, but they did and so comfy! I want to wear them now, because they were so comfortable and not low riding and no-muffin top!
Back to work now!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
The Weight Battle Continues
So after this weekend that I ate very badly and just whatever I wanted. I decided not to go to WW this morning to weigh in because I knew I would be up and I knew why. I'm having a hard time staying on track with WW. I get through Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and even Friday. Saturday scoots along and my schedule gets all whacked out by my sleeping in, Sunday (if I swim) usually isn't too bad, but dinner usually is something somewhat unhealthy. Then Monday rolls around and if I haven't used all my extra points, I take it upon myself to do so. So then Tuesday is weigh-in day and of course it is high! Doesn't help that I seem to be exhausted lately no matter how much I sleep and my allergies are driving me a bit loony toons! So this is my dilemma today! Any advice?
9/22/09 - Cycle Day #17 - IUI #2 - The wait begins
(To be published at a later date)
So we had the IUI on Saturday (9/19). We had BD'd 9/17 after the U/S, and were at the doc's office at 9:45 am on the dot with DH's sample. Gave the sample to the doc and they started doing whatever they do to it. So pretty soon, another gentleman walks in with his paper bag and hands it to the doc. And then a woman walks in after wards with him, so I figure they are having the same procedure we are. A couple minutes later, 2 Mexican guys walk in. They are covered in paint and are obviously construction workers of some type. Now in an infertility clinic, this is an odd sight. So one of them tells the nurse that his wife has an appointment and she tells him to sit. The two men then proceed to talk loudly about crap that isn't very respectful of the place that they are. Who brings a friend to his wife's appointment at a fertility clinic?! Very odd!
Meanwhile, our appointment was supposed to be at 10:15 am and it has now become almost 10:30 am so I am anxious because we are late and I took my drug at midnight :15 Wednesday night, so IUI was supposed to be at 10:15 am on the dot, or so I thought. Finally, we get called back and go thru the whole procedure. No excitement or surprises. Everything seems to go fine, and then we wait on the table for about 20 minutes. Buzzer goes off, and we pay and come home.
I had rented some DVDs, because my intention was to not do anything all day long and lay flat, to give the embryo as much help as possible to lay claim to my uterus. So I watched The Women and He's Just Not That Into You. I think I even took a nap and read my new book, The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. I got addicted to this book! Very lazy day and that was nice for once. I hope it works this month!
So we had the IUI on Saturday (9/19). We had BD'd 9/17 after the U/S, and were at the doc's office at 9:45 am on the dot with DH's sample. Gave the sample to the doc and they started doing whatever they do to it. So pretty soon, another gentleman walks in with his paper bag and hands it to the doc. And then a woman walks in after wards with him, so I figure they are having the same procedure we are. A couple minutes later, 2 Mexican guys walk in. They are covered in paint and are obviously construction workers of some type. Now in an infertility clinic, this is an odd sight. So one of them tells the nurse that his wife has an appointment and she tells him to sit. The two men then proceed to talk loudly about crap that isn't very respectful of the place that they are. Who brings a friend to his wife's appointment at a fertility clinic?! Very odd!
Meanwhile, our appointment was supposed to be at 10:15 am and it has now become almost 10:30 am so I am anxious because we are late and I took my drug at midnight :15 Wednesday night, so IUI was supposed to be at 10:15 am on the dot, or so I thought. Finally, we get called back and go thru the whole procedure. No excitement or surprises. Everything seems to go fine, and then we wait on the table for about 20 minutes. Buzzer goes off, and we pay and come home.
I had rented some DVDs, because my intention was to not do anything all day long and lay flat, to give the embryo as much help as possible to lay claim to my uterus. So I watched The Women and He's Just Not That Into You. I think I even took a nap and read my new book, The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. I got addicted to this book! Very lazy day and that was nice for once. I hope it works this month!
Friday, September 18, 2009
9/18/09 - Cycle Day #13 - IUI Cycle #2 - Smartest man or not?
(To be posted at a later date)
Today was pretty ordinary. I thought at one point I was going to need a nap from the drugs that I injected into myself at 12:15 am this morning, but I pushed thru. I worked out this morning a little late, because I didn't have Acu until 9:30 am. Got there at 9:30 am on the dot! And Debi didn't come out, and didn't come out and didn't come out. I called her cell phone about 9:50 to see if I could get her attention, nothing. Finally at 10 am she came out and was surprised to see me even though we had scheduled this appointment YESTERDAY (9/17). She said something about, "well, I have a client" and I said, "had I known that, I wouldn't have scheduled with you!" So I was very annoyed and almost ready to leave when she walked out. Took me back and I tried my best to calm myself down. We started and from there we were fine, she kept apologizing. So I got over it.
Came home late (11 am) worked and studied. Left at 4:15 to meet Mom to pick up Dream Dinners, came home and started dinner. DH came home and is complaining about his back - that gives him problems often and I really feel sorry for him, I do. He strains himself and his job is hard work - I would never want to do it. Anyway, he says to me, "I think I am going to get in the spa tonight." Now mind you, he hasn't been in the spa in months, not for lack of wanting but doctor's orders to forgo it! So I said, "WHAT?!" Actually, I think I said, "No you aren't! Not with what is going down tomorrow!" (The hot water and for a length of time can kill the production of sperm and with the IUI tomorrow, now is not the time for that!) He relented, but was still mad. A while later he asked me if I was mad and I said, "yes! We are doing this huge thing tomorrow and you want to go in the spa!" He said he had forgotten and was sorry, but I could have reminded him nicer. I agreed, but said, "it just came out of left field and I was shocked! I didn't know how to react!" Anyway, there was no spa-ing tonight! Sometimes he is the smartest man I know, and other times I wonder if he had a labodomy and I missed it! The smart one has returned thankfully.
So we had dinner and then we watched this video I had ordered that a friend recommended. It is a Discovery Film and it is called From Conception to Birth. It is about how everything works in the body and animated, very interesting. I felt tonight was the perfect time to watch it, with our second IUI being tomorrow. He argued with me a bit, and again relented when I told him it was only 30 minutes (I lied it was 49). But it was very interesting and set the tone for tomorrow.
One more thing...DH and I are sitting and he turns to me and says, "I thought of a name for a girl today! Hayley!" So cute and sweet. I reminded him that that is the name of the daughter of some people who used to be close friends and kind of burst his bubble, but it was so cute that in light of last night's fortune cookie incident, he thought of a name. Wouldn't he like to know I have a list in my Palm Pilot that has been there for at least 2 years! ;) So sweet! Here is where he is the best ever! Alright, a little reading and then to bed.
Today was pretty ordinary. I thought at one point I was going to need a nap from the drugs that I injected into myself at 12:15 am this morning, but I pushed thru. I worked out this morning a little late, because I didn't have Acu until 9:30 am. Got there at 9:30 am on the dot! And Debi didn't come out, and didn't come out and didn't come out. I called her cell phone about 9:50 to see if I could get her attention, nothing. Finally at 10 am she came out and was surprised to see me even though we had scheduled this appointment YESTERDAY (9/17). She said something about, "well, I have a client" and I said, "had I known that, I wouldn't have scheduled with you!" So I was very annoyed and almost ready to leave when she walked out. Took me back and I tried my best to calm myself down. We started and from there we were fine, she kept apologizing. So I got over it.
Came home late (11 am) worked and studied. Left at 4:15 to meet Mom to pick up Dream Dinners, came home and started dinner. DH came home and is complaining about his back - that gives him problems often and I really feel sorry for him, I do. He strains himself and his job is hard work - I would never want to do it. Anyway, he says to me, "I think I am going to get in the spa tonight." Now mind you, he hasn't been in the spa in months, not for lack of wanting but doctor's orders to forgo it! So I said, "WHAT?!" Actually, I think I said, "No you aren't! Not with what is going down tomorrow!" (The hot water and for a length of time can kill the production of sperm and with the IUI tomorrow, now is not the time for that!) He relented, but was still mad. A while later he asked me if I was mad and I said, "yes! We are doing this huge thing tomorrow and you want to go in the spa!" He said he had forgotten and was sorry, but I could have reminded him nicer. I agreed, but said, "it just came out of left field and I was shocked! I didn't know how to react!" Anyway, there was no spa-ing tonight! Sometimes he is the smartest man I know, and other times I wonder if he had a labodomy and I missed it! The smart one has returned thankfully.
So we had dinner and then we watched this video I had ordered that a friend recommended. It is a Discovery Film and it is called From Conception to Birth. It is about how everything works in the body and animated, very interesting. I felt tonight was the perfect time to watch it, with our second IUI being tomorrow. He argued with me a bit, and again relented when I told him it was only 30 minutes (I lied it was 49). But it was very interesting and set the tone for tomorrow.
One more thing...DH and I are sitting and he turns to me and says, "I thought of a name for a girl today! Hayley!" So cute and sweet. I reminded him that that is the name of the daughter of some people who used to be close friends and kind of burst his bubble, but it was so cute that in light of last night's fortune cookie incident, he thought of a name. Wouldn't he like to know I have a list in my Palm Pilot that has been there for at least 2 years! ;) So sweet! Here is where he is the best ever! Alright, a little reading and then to bed.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
The Cycles
Okay, so while I am not posting many of the things that are happening now (don't worry, they are saved in Drafts and will publish at a later date) I still am posting some thoughts. So I was thinking of this one on the way home today.
Currently, my life revolves around my cycle. And here is how it goes:
Week 1 - AF comes, pain for a couple days, disappointment, get over it (for the most part)
Week 2 - not much happening, probably eating better because I ate badly the week before
Week 3 - a little pain in my stomach (which I have come to know as ovulating) and BDing as much as we can, plus other events with Dr's help
Week 4 - waiting and testing, disappointment again, and we start over.
This has been my life for 2 years...well, not quite. It first started out just trying and no luck, so then I was told I had some cysts. Then I had a lot of pain in Week 2 and 4, so it was a week of pain (AF), about 2 weeks off, a week of pain (OV), about 2 weeks off, a week of pain (AF), repeat. It was lots of fun. Add in BDing when I was in sheer pain, and you have a great month! ;)
Then we added in the Clomid and the OV pain was a bit more, but AF pain was about the same. Then we thought I might have Endo because the AF pain was getting worse again. Then we added in the Acu and the OV pain was almost nonexistent, and AF pain was far less. So we thought the Endo was/is gone. And now, we have the different fertility drugs and the IUI (last month wasn't a lot of pain except for IUI day when I basically just had cramps all day from the speculum).
What I also find interesting about this process is how little know about themselves and their cycles and what it all means. I have never learned more about my cycle, and I know my friends and family have never learned more about my cycle, and possibly their own. I don't know if I just didn't listen in sex ed, or if this stuff wasn't taught, but I don't remember learning about when to make a baby. But it is truly amazing what people don't know about their own body and how it is affected by various factors.
So that was my thought process on the way home.
Small tidbit I will share because I don't think it reveals anything but good/fun stuff...I had Pei Wei (Chinese) for lunch today because we never go because DH doesn't like it. So they gave us extra fortune cookies and the girls at work didn't want them, so I brought 2 (out of a total of 5 given) home. My fortune at work wasn't anything exciting. Anyway, got home and told DH to pick one and read his fortune. So he opens it and says, "what the hell?" I said, "oh, they put a word on it and show you how to say it in Chinese, flip it for the fortune." Then he flipped it and showed me the word...it was "daughter." Chills, yes! Good omen, I hope so! Love you guys!
Currently, my life revolves around my cycle. And here is how it goes:
Week 1 - AF comes, pain for a couple days, disappointment, get over it (for the most part)
Week 2 - not much happening, probably eating better because I ate badly the week before
Week 3 - a little pain in my stomach (which I have come to know as ovulating) and BDing as much as we can, plus other events with Dr's help
Week 4 - waiting and testing, disappointment again, and we start over.
This has been my life for 2 years...well, not quite. It first started out just trying and no luck, so then I was told I had some cysts. Then I had a lot of pain in Week 2 and 4, so it was a week of pain (AF), about 2 weeks off, a week of pain (OV), about 2 weeks off, a week of pain (AF), repeat. It was lots of fun. Add in BDing when I was in sheer pain, and you have a great month! ;)
Then we added in the Clomid and the OV pain was a bit more, but AF pain was about the same. Then we thought I might have Endo because the AF pain was getting worse again. Then we added in the Acu and the OV pain was almost nonexistent, and AF pain was far less. So we thought the Endo was/is gone. And now, we have the different fertility drugs and the IUI (last month wasn't a lot of pain except for IUI day when I basically just had cramps all day from the speculum).
What I also find interesting about this process is how little know about themselves and their cycles and what it all means. I have never learned more about my cycle, and I know my friends and family have never learned more about my cycle, and possibly their own. I don't know if I just didn't listen in sex ed, or if this stuff wasn't taught, but I don't remember learning about when to make a baby. But it is truly amazing what people don't know about their own body and how it is affected by various factors.
So that was my thought process on the way home.
Small tidbit I will share because I don't think it reveals anything but good/fun stuff...I had Pei Wei (Chinese) for lunch today because we never go because DH doesn't like it. So they gave us extra fortune cookies and the girls at work didn't want them, so I brought 2 (out of a total of 5 given) home. My fortune at work wasn't anything exciting. Anyway, got home and told DH to pick one and read his fortune. So he opens it and says, "what the hell?" I said, "oh, they put a word on it and show you how to say it in Chinese, flip it for the fortune." Then he flipped it and showed me the word...it was "daughter." Chills, yes! Good omen, I hope so! Love you guys!
9/17/09 - Cycle Day #12 - IUI Cycle #2 - U/S day
So I won't be publishing this at least until this cycle is over but that doesn't mean I don't want to document it!
Today was ultrasound day. Let me start at the beginning. Walked with my friend Anna this morning and that was nice. Got home about 6:30 am so had time to do some quick things on the computer and calling East Coast about stuff before the day got too crazy. Showered, breakfast and DH and I left the house at 8:15 to get to the Dr.'s office by 8:35 am. Dr. walked in right behind us (so at least he was on time this time!). I told the secretary about the free drugs from Costco and she thought that was great. Then we get called in, undress waist-down, etc. Dr. comes in a few minutes later and we begin the u/s. Dr. says he will be out of town this weekend but has a back-up who will do the procedure and is very good. So we are covered if IUI is this weekend. Cutie that DH is, he says, "this time I know what I am looking at!" So we begin to look. Uteran lining is good and thick apparently. Get up to follicules on the left and there's 2 that I see that are quite large. So Dr. says that looks good and measures, and measures, and measures. Then he says, "well, this is a higher risk for twins because there are two follicules that are ready." TWINS?! TWINS!?
Today was ultrasound day. Let me start at the beginning. Walked with my friend Anna this morning and that was nice. Got home about 6:30 am so had time to do some quick things on the computer and calling East Coast about stuff before the day got too crazy. Showered, breakfast and DH and I left the house at 8:15 to get to the Dr.'s office by 8:35 am. Dr. walked in right behind us (so at least he was on time this time!). I told the secretary about the free drugs from Costco and she thought that was great. Then we get called in, undress waist-down, etc. Dr. comes in a few minutes later and we begin the u/s. Dr. says he will be out of town this weekend but has a back-up who will do the procedure and is very good. So we are covered if IUI is this weekend. Cutie that DH is, he says, "this time I know what I am looking at!" So we begin to look. Uteran lining is good and thick apparently. Get up to follicules on the left and there's 2 that I see that are quite large. So Dr. says that looks good and measures, and measures, and measures. Then he says, "well, this is a higher risk for twins because there are two follicules that are ready." TWINS?! TWINS!?
Now I have always secretly wanted twins (growing up) because I have always wanted 2 kids and this would mean we are done in one fell swoop, but I never thought it was actually a possibility. DH however has never expressed that opinion. He told me he would be in Mexico if that happened!
So he goes to the other side and says there is one smaller follicle but that could also produce good eggs so we won't count it out. So have 3 follicles that may produce eggs! So he finishes and says everything looks good and Saturday is the day we will do the IUI, so the other Dr. will do it. I ask him what our percentage of possibility is this month because it is second time around and he says maybe 18% as opposed to last month's 15% because we are young. Then he says the twins isn't 100%, just a slim possibility. But now DH says, "You said the T-word! Well, two are better than none!" I know it makes him nervous but maybe this is meant to be because if we had this much trouble the first time, the second time could only be worse. So we'll just have to see. I told the Dr. about the free bee drugs from Costco and he was blown away. I also asked if next month (if we do this again) if he could prescribe 3 months worth so the coupon I have can supply the next 3 months and save us $375. He said that would be fine! He was amazed at what the pharmacy did for us! He said we should BD tonight but not tomorrow.
So Dr. leaves and shakes both hands. I get dressed and we head out to get the the trigger shot script and pay. I tell DH to leave because the Dr.'s office is fussing a little bit about stuff, and he has to get to work. (By the way, we are super on time now!) He leaves and I hang around for the script and to pay. Schedule Sat. IUI for 10:15 am with the other Dr. and DH has to be there with sample in hand at 9:45 am. A little better this time, because we can both go together and just hang out until it is time for my procedure. Plus, we can come home and I can literally lay in bed all day and not feel guilty! Also just scheduled Acu with Debi for tomorrow at 9:30 am because Sat won't work. Except, I have to do my trigger shot at 12:15 tonight! So I get to go BD, go to sleep, then wake up to give myself a shot, then go back to sleep! Here we go again!
UPDATE: I had Pei Wei (Chinese) for lunch today because we never go because DH doesn't like it. So they gave us extra fortune cookies and the girls at work didn't want them, so I brought 2 (out of a total of 5 given) home. My fortune at work wasn't anything exciting. Anyway, got home and told DH to pick one and read his fortune. So he opens it and says, "what the hell?" I said, "oh, they put a word on it and show you how to say it in Chinese, flip it for the fortune." Then he flipped it and showed me the word...it was "daughter." Chills, yes! Good omen, I hope so! Love you guys!
UPDATE: I had Pei Wei (Chinese) for lunch today because we never go because DH doesn't like it. So they gave us extra fortune cookies and the girls at work didn't want them, so I brought 2 (out of a total of 5 given) home. My fortune at work wasn't anything exciting. Anyway, got home and told DH to pick one and read his fortune. So he opens it and says, "what the hell?" I said, "oh, they put a word on it and show you how to say it in Chinese, flip it for the fortune." Then he flipped it and showed me the word...it was "daughter." Chills, yes! Good omen, I hope so! Love you guys!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Cycle Day #10 - IUI Cycle #2 - Long time catch-up
Nothing really important to note, just wanted to say "hi" and I am still here. No new news, after all we aren't revealing when appointments and things are this month to anyone except those that MUST know (i.e. bosses, and even they don't know specifics).
I did go weigh in at WW this morning and while I wasn't down to my lowest, I was down to where I was before two weeks ago's debacle that ensued eating whatever I could! So that is happy. Had a fun shopping trip with a friend over the weekend and was easily fitting into size 10 stuff, so that is great. Plus I just felt really nice! Came home last night wearing one of my new outfits that DH hadn't seen yet (after visiting a friend in it - she loved it) and I said I felt skinny and DH said, "I think you always are skinny." He knows what to say to make me happy! Great guy! Alright, off to find lunch. Later folks!
Oh, let me say that we watched the VMA's on Sunday and I was so very annoyed at Kanye West for stealing Taylor Swift's moment. Not only did he steal something from her that she can never get back (although Beyonce tried and that was awesome) but he stole it from a 17-year old who doesn't have experience on how to deal with an ass-hole like that! What a jerk. The world doesn't revolve around him and he needs to figure that out damn quick before he pisses the wrong someone off and ends up dead. I guess he did something like this to the Dixie Chicks at another event...what is so wrong with Country music? The fact that they aren't cussing every other word and talking about bangin' girls, makes it pretty good music to me. Kanye needs a reality check! OY! Alright, vent over! Later!
I did go weigh in at WW this morning and while I wasn't down to my lowest, I was down to where I was before two weeks ago's debacle that ensued eating whatever I could! So that is happy. Had a fun shopping trip with a friend over the weekend and was easily fitting into size 10 stuff, so that is great. Plus I just felt really nice! Came home last night wearing one of my new outfits that DH hadn't seen yet (after visiting a friend in it - she loved it) and I said I felt skinny and DH said, "I think you always are skinny." He knows what to say to make me happy! Great guy! Alright, off to find lunch. Later folks!
Oh, let me say that we watched the VMA's on Sunday and I was so very annoyed at Kanye West for stealing Taylor Swift's moment. Not only did he steal something from her that she can never get back (although Beyonce tried and that was awesome) but he stole it from a 17-year old who doesn't have experience on how to deal with an ass-hole like that! What a jerk. The world doesn't revolve around him and he needs to figure that out damn quick before he pisses the wrong someone off and ends up dead. I guess he did something like this to the Dixie Chicks at another event...what is so wrong with Country music? The fact that they aren't cussing every other word and talking about bangin' girls, makes it pretty good music to me. Kanye needs a reality check! OY! Alright, vent over! Later!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Cycle Day #6 - IUI Cycle #2 - I love my trainer!
I have a unique trainer, in that I don't meet with him multiple times a week. I only meet with him once a month and the rest of the month I am on my own to work hard and get better. At our meeting, he critiques what I am doing, helps me with what I am feeling, pushes me to work harder and at times changes up my workout, among other things. Now he knew about the IUI - in fact, the last time we worked out was the morning of my IUI. So he knew. I had emailed him earlier this week confirming our appointment and letting him know our news, and asking him not to bring it up. Well, this morning he did anyway, realizing (after I said the last couple weeks have been difficult) that the result was partly due to the events of Friday. And he understood that it made me upset (I cried a little bit), but he gave me a hug and then he became my cheerleader for the day. He picked me up off the floor and pushed me to laugh and to think about working out because that will help us get pregnant. He answers my questions and is a genuinely good guy.
I need to get over this upset-ness. You would think by now I am over it! But the thing I realized this morning on my way home from the gym was that I am over the fact that I am not currently pregnant and we have to do it all again. What gets me upset is that look people give you...they care and they love me, but it is an "I'm sorry" look. And while I love the emotion and the love behind it, I hate that look. That is what gets me tearful. It could also be knowing that these people care so much about us that when we hurt, they hurt. So in a way, these tears are happy tears for all those people I depend on and who support me. I just don't want people to feel sorry for us or pity us or anything like that. That's all. But I am also grateful that they care enough to give me a hug...I just have to figure out how to get over this point, because crying every time someone brings it up sucks. Thus is why this month we aren't telling anyone when things are happening. Sorry folks...you won't know until after the fact. Kind of like when I take one of my hard-ass tests, the only people who know are my hubby and my mom. So not telling when we IUI, when we test or anything of that sort. I will still blog, but may not post them until after.
By all means, keep the prayers coming, you just won't know the specifics. Also helps whenever we do find out we are PG that I get to surprise people and have them hear it from me, rather than the blog. Alright, back to studying for the next hard-ass test that you guys won't hear about until I pass it! Later folks!
I need to get over this upset-ness. You would think by now I am over it! But the thing I realized this morning on my way home from the gym was that I am over the fact that I am not currently pregnant and we have to do it all again. What gets me upset is that look people give you...they care and they love me, but it is an "I'm sorry" look. And while I love the emotion and the love behind it, I hate that look. That is what gets me tearful. It could also be knowing that these people care so much about us that when we hurt, they hurt. So in a way, these tears are happy tears for all those people I depend on and who support me. I just don't want people to feel sorry for us or pity us or anything like that. That's all. But I am also grateful that they care enough to give me a hug...I just have to figure out how to get over this point, because crying every time someone brings it up sucks. Thus is why this month we aren't telling anyone when things are happening. Sorry folks...you won't know until after the fact. Kind of like when I take one of my hard-ass tests, the only people who know are my hubby and my mom. So not telling when we IUI, when we test or anything of that sort. I will still blog, but may not post them until after.
By all means, keep the prayers coming, you just won't know the specifics. Also helps whenever we do find out we are PG that I get to surprise people and have them hear it from me, rather than the blog. Alright, back to studying for the next hard-ass test that you guys won't hear about until I pass it! Later folks!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Cycle Day #5 - IUI Cycle #2 - So tired!
First let me say that these drugs don't affect me as much as the Clomid did, but they still make me incredibly tired. I was supposed to walk with a friend this morning and I must have sent her a telepathic message that I was too tired, because she never came (we got our wires crossed and her new phone doesn't like to deliver text messages apparently!). Anyway, Sierra and I stood outside for about 3 minutes before I called her and understood. Walked Sierra for about 10 minutes, then headed back to the house and crawled back into bed and actually slept! I am one of those people that if I get up and speak, I won't be able to go back to bed. So the fact that I got up, got dressed, spoke and even checked email and was still able to go back to bed should tell you something! Only got about another hour of sleep, but it was needed. Even considered going into work late because I was so exhausted, but I had a client at 11 am and I couldn't miss him. So here I am!
But I am leaving at 3:30 pm to go to Acu and then home to maybe take a nap. I'm gonna bail on the HOA meeting tonight I think. We'll see if I get a nap, then maybe I will go at 6 pm. That is all here. No other news except that I only have 2 more days of pills and I am glad for that! Later folks!
But I am leaving at 3:30 pm to go to Acu and then home to maybe take a nap. I'm gonna bail on the HOA meeting tonight I think. We'll see if I get a nap, then maybe I will go at 6 pm. That is all here. No other news except that I only have 2 more days of pills and I am glad for that! Later folks!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Cycle Day #3 - IUI Cycle #2 - Insurance sucks!
Okay, so insurance won't cover the costs of the fertility drugs, fine-whatever. But they have been running my Dr.'s office ragged with telling them one thing, not noting it down, then telling me something else, then calling them back and telling them something else! How is this so damn difficult?! For cryin' out loud, it is 10 pills! 10 pills...I pay them plenty every month and now they are so difficult to deal with. This is so not fun!
Alright, now that that is out of my system, I think I am ready to tell all my other secrets. I have been a bad eater the last 2 weeks. I haven't skipped my workouts (save for 1 swim while we were in Tempe) but I have eaten horribly and the scale agrees with me. I need to get back to normal and not eat my way thru my sorrows, but some days that is more difficult than others. Today, I am starting fresh and writing down everything I eat, and taking this day-by-day. I can do this and I will do this, I just need some fresh ideas. I watched an old Oprah today that I had taped long ago about celebrities and their weight loss and how they felt, and I plan to start reading Dr. Oz's book (You on a Diet) as soon as I finish my current book - hopefully today. I know I am already on WW, but I need some new ideas. I also plan on either stopping my decaf coffee habit (although doc said it is fine) but I put Stevia in my coffee and I have read bad things about it and getting pregnant, so just want to make sure we aren't doing this to ourselves. I need to get this done so I can get pregnant and be healthy! I don't want my pregnancy to be my reason to eat!
Alright, now that that is off my chest, I'm off to pick up my very expensive fertility drugs that insurance won't cover even though I have met my deductible! ARGH!
UPDATE: After all that, I get to Costco and the technician says, "this must be your lucky day!" I wasn't looking at her - I was looking for my credit card, and I replied, "yeah, right!" She said, "No really! Your prescription comes to $0.00 today!" I looked up and said, "You are kidding right?!" Mind you, they didn't have my insurance information so I had no clue what was going on. I told her "I could hug you!" Literally, had tears welling up in my eyes! Anyway, one of the pharmacy technicians had looked online and found a coupon and saved us $125 on this dang prescription without even knowing us! So on my way out of Costco, I stopped and did a Customer Compliment for her (Stacey at Costco on NW side of Tucson). Hopefully she gets something good, because she gave us something good! This gives me a better feeling about this month's procedure! Alright, time to make dinner! I'm still in shock!
Alright, now that that is out of my system, I think I am ready to tell all my other secrets. I have been a bad eater the last 2 weeks. I haven't skipped my workouts (save for 1 swim while we were in Tempe) but I have eaten horribly and the scale agrees with me. I need to get back to normal and not eat my way thru my sorrows, but some days that is more difficult than others. Today, I am starting fresh and writing down everything I eat, and taking this day-by-day. I can do this and I will do this, I just need some fresh ideas. I watched an old Oprah today that I had taped long ago about celebrities and their weight loss and how they felt, and I plan to start reading Dr. Oz's book (You on a Diet) as soon as I finish my current book - hopefully today. I know I am already on WW, but I need some new ideas. I also plan on either stopping my decaf coffee habit (although doc said it is fine) but I put Stevia in my coffee and I have read bad things about it and getting pregnant, so just want to make sure we aren't doing this to ourselves. I need to get this done so I can get pregnant and be healthy! I don't want my pregnancy to be my reason to eat!
Alright, now that that is off my chest, I'm off to pick up my very expensive fertility drugs that insurance won't cover even though I have met my deductible! ARGH!
UPDATE: After all that, I get to Costco and the technician says, "this must be your lucky day!" I wasn't looking at her - I was looking for my credit card, and I replied, "yeah, right!" She said, "No really! Your prescription comes to $0.00 today!" I looked up and said, "You are kidding right?!" Mind you, they didn't have my insurance information so I had no clue what was going on. I told her "I could hug you!" Literally, had tears welling up in my eyes! Anyway, one of the pharmacy technicians had looked online and found a coupon and saved us $125 on this dang prescription without even knowing us! So on my way out of Costco, I stopped and did a Customer Compliment for her (Stacey at Costco on NW side of Tucson). Hopefully she gets something good, because she gave us something good! This gives me a better feeling about this month's procedure! Alright, time to make dinner! I'm still in shock!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Cycle Day #1 - IUI Cycle #2 - And the hits just keep on comin'
So obviously the first round didn't work and we have decided to try again. I'm kind of keeping this under wraps so I may blog, but not publish it until after the fact. I felt like we told too many people - well, I told too many people, and I may have jinxed us. Don't get me wrong, I love all the LOVE but telling everyone was really hard, especially when I saw people I had told.
I went to swim this morning and on my way home from breakfast with Dad, I stopped at Walgreens to pick up the prescription I need to start on Day 3 of my cycle. Mind you, this morning AF hadn't shown up yet. I was trying to be ahead of the game. So after waiting in the drive thru for at least 15 minutes, the driver in front of me pulled away and it was my turn. I pulled up and gave the pharmacist my name. She comes back to tell me that the prescription I need requires pre-authorization from the insurance company. I call my Dr.'s office (because he said they would be open all weekend) and left a message regarding the situation. But still couldn't get the prescription. So came home a little pissed off, figuring we would be fine because AF hadn't yet arrived. Silly me!
AF showed up this afternoon and now the situation is kind of dire because Tuesday puts us on the day that I have to take my drug, plus I need pre-authorization from Aetna. So after AF showed up, I called the Dr.'s office to get his pager number or answering service's number to see where to go from here. Left a message with the answering service, and a couple minutes later the doctor called back. We discussed the situation and he agreed it was a problem. He said that it would take a bit to get pre-authorized, so I should get on the phone to Aetna first thing on Tuesday and today shop around to see the cheapest place just in case the drug didn't get pre-authorized by Aetna as it is for infertility and breast cancer (random combo I know!). Thus far Basha's wins! But still waiting on Costco and Target, as their pharmacies are closed. So I went on the sly and called Aetna's pharmacy number that I have and pretended I was a pharmacist for about 2 minutes and got information about pre-authorization. He told me that if the Dr.'s office called on Tuesday, it would happen a lot quicker than if they faxed in the form. So as soon as I call Costco and Target tomorrow, will call the Dr.'s office with instructions on what I learned. This just can't be easy can it?!
I went to swim this morning and on my way home from breakfast with Dad, I stopped at Walgreens to pick up the prescription I need to start on Day 3 of my cycle. Mind you, this morning AF hadn't shown up yet. I was trying to be ahead of the game. So after waiting in the drive thru for at least 15 minutes, the driver in front of me pulled away and it was my turn. I pulled up and gave the pharmacist my name. She comes back to tell me that the prescription I need requires pre-authorization from the insurance company. I call my Dr.'s office (because he said they would be open all weekend) and left a message regarding the situation. But still couldn't get the prescription. So came home a little pissed off, figuring we would be fine because AF hadn't yet arrived. Silly me!
AF showed up this afternoon and now the situation is kind of dire because Tuesday puts us on the day that I have to take my drug, plus I need pre-authorization from Aetna. So after AF showed up, I called the Dr.'s office to get his pager number or answering service's number to see where to go from here. Left a message with the answering service, and a couple minutes later the doctor called back. We discussed the situation and he agreed it was a problem. He said that it would take a bit to get pre-authorized, so I should get on the phone to Aetna first thing on Tuesday and today shop around to see the cheapest place just in case the drug didn't get pre-authorized by Aetna as it is for infertility and breast cancer (random combo I know!). Thus far Basha's wins! But still waiting on Costco and Target, as their pharmacies are closed. So I went on the sly and called Aetna's pharmacy number that I have and pretended I was a pharmacist for about 2 minutes and got information about pre-authorization. He told me that if the Dr.'s office called on Tuesday, it would happen a lot quicker than if they faxed in the form. So as soon as I call Costco and Target tomorrow, will call the Dr.'s office with instructions on what I learned. This just can't be easy can it?!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Cycle Day #29 - IUI Cycle #1 - Waiting for AF, the snake and the Baby Shower
So now we know and it sucks. Yesterday was the worst day yet. There have been times when I cried over a negative pregnancy test, but yesterday was on and off crying - sobbing really, uncontrollably. I was doing laundry at one point and just started screaming "WHY? What have we done to deserve this?!" It was a hard day. DH came home and we literally fell into each others arms and just held. I was crying, he wasn't, but one of us has to be the rock. I knew he was upset but he handles it differently than me. He had picked up dinner (never even faltered when I asked) so we ate, but I don't think I tasted a bite. I was trying to fill the void with food and alcohol and we all know that doesn't work. But that was my answer last night, get drunk. We will just try again. (I called the Dr. to see if there was anything more I could do - i.e. don't drink decaf coffee, iced tea, Stevia, workout as hard, etc. - but he said no, we were doing everything perfectly. )
So right as we get ready to watch America's Sweethearts which is a really funny movie and I figured would get us out of our funk....DH walks out to the garage and there is a BABY RATTLESNAKE (8" long, no rattle and pissed) sitting on the doormat leading into the house! He stammered something and shut the door. I asked what was going on and he told me and I jumped onto the counter - mind you the snake is in the garage and I was in the kitchen with a door between us, but I still jumped onto the counter! He thought he could get it, so he went to the yard and got the shovel and then when he came back it was gone, but the garage door was still shut. We called the fire department and were told they don't come get snakes, only if someone has been bitten. Gave us a name of a guy to call and they charged $150 just to come to the house, not including any looking or moving stuff. DH decided he could do it so he opened the garage door, then went out the front door to get to the garage and got his riding boots (big, tall, thick boots for protection) and started searching for the snake in the garage! I was posted at the door (in case he came in and my instructions were to scream - well duh, that would surely happen) and the animals were locked up either outside or in the bathroom. (This started at 8:30 pm). DH moved every single thing in the garage, then hosed it all down, looking to get the snake out wherever he was. 2 hours later (10:30 pm), no snake and a very messy garage! But we think he is gone, now just hope that his family isn't somewhere around the house! DH will redo the garage tomorrow, but I still watch with hawk eyes when I walk thru.
So today...had a baby shower for one of my best friend's (I call her my sister - Ninny) with her sister (another sister - Kim) and bunches of other good friends, all who know about what happened yesterday. I had told them all not to "look at me with sad eyes" today or else I would cry. On the way over there I was already getting teary eyed, and trying to breathe deep to calm myself down. Finally got there and walked in, dropped my present off (homemade blanket) and found the pregnant one (Ninny). Now she has a cute habit of rubbing her VERY pregnant belly on mine with the thought of getting my uterus to wake up and making me laugh, most days it works great. Today, not so much. She hugged me, belly rubbed me and said,"Well, we almost had it" and I lost it! Then she realized what she said, and was immediately sorry. She had the best intentions at heart I know! So the next person I hugged was the father (Dick) of a very good friend of mine (Katie) and he asked what was wrong (because now I am crying) and I said, "it's been a bad week." So he just held me and let me cry a bit. I got make-up on his shirt, but he was perfect and handled a crying "daughter" like a champ. So then the next person I hug is Kim and she just keeps saying, "never give up, we will never give up." and I got her crying. I was just the downer of the party! Finally, I stepped away and went to the bathroom to calm down a bit. I thought I was going to have to leave. Came out and I was better, then saw Mama Ledford and she gave me a good, long hug and told me not to worry and that made me go again. So much for nice make-up. Finally got it all out it seemed, and then I could be okay. Couple other hugs here and there and finally no tears. No one else brought it up again either! Everyone was being really great too, telling me how beautiful I looked and how my hair always looks nice, trying to cheer me up. There is nothing better than great friends!
After that, the party was great. Had a couple mimosas! Ate way too much! And just got to be with friends and get hugs from kiddos (Ryann is my favorite). Ninny loved her blanket and I really liked doing it for a little girl, instead of a little boy! Now to start the next! The card I found was really cute - it was like an invoice sticker for a new car, but it was for a baby. Had things like "rear filter needs to be changed often" and "MPG before naps is 5, after naps is 15". Very cute, especially coming from us. Except it was for a baby boy, and they are having a girl, so I had to "girl-it-up" a bit with girly stickers and stuff. Very cute, but I couldn't resist it!
Was one of the last to leave the party with a couple little plants Ninny had for people with "Faith" on the pots. That is SOOOOOOOOOOO what we need right now! And the of course, what is sitting outside under Ninny's hubby's truck - a big SNAKE! Thankfully, it wasn't a Rattler! But Dad Ledford crawls under the truck and grabs it behind the head and pulls it out and is holding it and letting it crawl around on his hands. EWWWWWW!!! I despise snakes! I will never let any child have a snake voluntarily in this house and thankfully, DH thinks the same way! Anyway, so came home and here I am. Thinking a nap is in my future til DH comes home from work and then off to dinner with Mom and Dad for her birthday. But gonna go lay down for a bit. I have a feeling tomorrow will be a relax-and-watch-movies-all-day-day! After swimming of course!
So right as we get ready to watch America's Sweethearts which is a really funny movie and I figured would get us out of our funk....DH walks out to the garage and there is a BABY RATTLESNAKE (8" long, no rattle and pissed) sitting on the doormat leading into the house! He stammered something and shut the door. I asked what was going on and he told me and I jumped onto the counter - mind you the snake is in the garage and I was in the kitchen with a door between us, but I still jumped onto the counter! He thought he could get it, so he went to the yard and got the shovel and then when he came back it was gone, but the garage door was still shut. We called the fire department and were told they don't come get snakes, only if someone has been bitten. Gave us a name of a guy to call and they charged $150 just to come to the house, not including any looking or moving stuff. DH decided he could do it so he opened the garage door, then went out the front door to get to the garage and got his riding boots (big, tall, thick boots for protection) and started searching for the snake in the garage! I was posted at the door (in case he came in and my instructions were to scream - well duh, that would surely happen) and the animals were locked up either outside or in the bathroom. (This started at 8:30 pm). DH moved every single thing in the garage, then hosed it all down, looking to get the snake out wherever he was. 2 hours later (10:30 pm), no snake and a very messy garage! But we think he is gone, now just hope that his family isn't somewhere around the house! DH will redo the garage tomorrow, but I still watch with hawk eyes when I walk thru.
So today...had a baby shower for one of my best friend's (I call her my sister - Ninny) with her sister (another sister - Kim) and bunches of other good friends, all who know about what happened yesterday. I had told them all not to "look at me with sad eyes" today or else I would cry. On the way over there I was already getting teary eyed, and trying to breathe deep to calm myself down. Finally got there and walked in, dropped my present off (homemade blanket) and found the pregnant one (Ninny). Now she has a cute habit of rubbing her VERY pregnant belly on mine with the thought of getting my uterus to wake up and making me laugh, most days it works great. Today, not so much. She hugged me, belly rubbed me and said,"Well, we almost had it" and I lost it! Then she realized what she said, and was immediately sorry. She had the best intentions at heart I know! So the next person I hugged was the father (Dick) of a very good friend of mine (Katie) and he asked what was wrong (because now I am crying) and I said, "it's been a bad week." So he just held me and let me cry a bit. I got make-up on his shirt, but he was perfect and handled a crying "daughter" like a champ. So then the next person I hug is Kim and she just keeps saying, "never give up, we will never give up." and I got her crying. I was just the downer of the party! Finally, I stepped away and went to the bathroom to calm down a bit. I thought I was going to have to leave. Came out and I was better, then saw Mama Ledford and she gave me a good, long hug and told me not to worry and that made me go again. So much for nice make-up. Finally got it all out it seemed, and then I could be okay. Couple other hugs here and there and finally no tears. No one else brought it up again either! Everyone was being really great too, telling me how beautiful I looked and how my hair always looks nice, trying to cheer me up. There is nothing better than great friends!
After that, the party was great. Had a couple mimosas! Ate way too much! And just got to be with friends and get hugs from kiddos (Ryann is my favorite). Ninny loved her blanket and I really liked doing it for a little girl, instead of a little boy! Now to start the next! The card I found was really cute - it was like an invoice sticker for a new car, but it was for a baby. Had things like "rear filter needs to be changed often" and "MPG before naps is 5, after naps is 15". Very cute, especially coming from us. Except it was for a baby boy, and they are having a girl, so I had to "girl-it-up" a bit with girly stickers and stuff. Very cute, but I couldn't resist it!
Was one of the last to leave the party with a couple little plants Ninny had for people with "Faith" on the pots. That is SOOOOOOOOOOO what we need right now! And the of course, what is sitting outside under Ninny's hubby's truck - a big SNAKE! Thankfully, it wasn't a Rattler! But Dad Ledford crawls under the truck and grabs it behind the head and pulls it out and is holding it and letting it crawl around on his hands. EWWWWWW!!! I despise snakes! I will never let any child have a snake voluntarily in this house and thankfully, DH thinks the same way! Anyway, so came home and here I am. Thinking a nap is in my future til DH comes home from work and then off to dinner with Mom and Dad for her birthday. But gonna go lay down for a bit. I have a feeling tomorrow will be a relax-and-watch-movies-all-day-day! After swimming of course!
Friday, September 4, 2009
The Child Within
I know you want out
but not quite sure when.
You wait and wonder,
When will it be time.
I'm not talking about my inner child,
but rather the child that waits inside me to be borne.
To become something to be held
and loved like we long for so badly.
I know you are there,
begging to be borne.
You are not alone,
we long for you always.
I don't know why you have to wait,
but I know the right time will come.
Just stay with me Baby,
til God says it's time.
Please come to me soon,
and ease my pain.
Your Daddy and I long for you,
we can't wait to meet you.
I know your soul is within me,
I just need your heart to join.
Please come soon dear one,
I long to meet you and hold you and love you.
I will never let you go
once I see your sweet face.
We are here, ready for you...
when will you be ready for us?
but not quite sure when.
You wait and wonder,
When will it be time.
I'm not talking about my inner child,
but rather the child that waits inside me to be borne.
To become something to be held
and loved like we long for so badly.
I know you are there,
begging to be borne.
You are not alone,
we long for you always.
I don't know why you have to wait,
but I know the right time will come.
Just stay with me Baby,
til God says it's time.
Please come to me soon,
and ease my pain.
Your Daddy and I long for you,
we can't wait to meet you.
I know your soul is within me,
I just need your heart to join.
Please come soon dear one,
I long to meet you and hold you and love you.
I will never let you go
once I see your sweet face.
We are here, ready for you...
when will you be ready for us?
Cycle Day #28 - IUI Cycle #1 - Test Day
So I was of course awake at 4 am this morning to test and through my bleary eyes it said negative. I got up again at 6:05 to get ready to go work out and took another test, and I swear there was the faintest of faint lines where line #2 should be. I've never even seen where line #2 should be before. I don't know if the ink bled or if there is a reason. So when I woke up DH to kiss him good-bye he asked and I told him quickly. We had decided last night that I would get a blood test anyway, just to be 100% sure.
I've always heard of these women that can take a pregnancy test when they are 8 months pregnant, and it still pops up negative. Now I have seen a lot (A LOT) of negative pregnancy tests in the last 2 years, but I kinda think that I might be one of these women. So wasn't terribly upset when the test said negative this morning, but you can bet your house that when the 2nd one showed something to the left, I looked at that thing a million times!
So went and worked out and then when I left the gym it was 8:15 (Dr. H's office opens at 8:30) and I was right there. So I pulled up and figured I would see if they could do a blood test today and get results before the weekend (I had already left them a message about the scenario at 6:20 am!). Sat there until I saw staff go in and listened to a bit on my radio station that I like, then went into the office. Told the receptionist my story and she said to sit and they could run a quick blood test, and have results this afternoon. So that is where we stand. Blood has been taken. Nurse was great - my veins like to roll, but they didn't. She even said that there are many women who never have a positive pee test! So again, better safe than sorry. Came home and now we wait until the call comes this afternoon.
I texted some people this morning who knew today was test day, to tell them what was happening. Lots of support and love comin' my way it sounds. Anyway, hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. Is this it? I sure hope so! But if not, we will try, try again! Thankfully I have a very supportive husband who is on the exact same page as me with wanting a baby. So thankful for him! Alright, now off for a shower. I got home from the gym late and started working without my shower. I stink of sweat! Will update later.
UPDATE: The verdict is in and it isn't good. So we begin again. Man this process sucks! What have we done to deserve such heartache and failure? I haven't cried this hard in a long time and I don't miss it! This is so painful.
I've always heard of these women that can take a pregnancy test when they are 8 months pregnant, and it still pops up negative. Now I have seen a lot (A LOT) of negative pregnancy tests in the last 2 years, but I kinda think that I might be one of these women. So wasn't terribly upset when the test said negative this morning, but you can bet your house that when the 2nd one showed something to the left, I looked at that thing a million times!
So went and worked out and then when I left the gym it was 8:15 (Dr. H's office opens at 8:30) and I was right there. So I pulled up and figured I would see if they could do a blood test today and get results before the weekend (I had already left them a message about the scenario at 6:20 am!). Sat there until I saw staff go in and listened to a bit on my radio station that I like, then went into the office. Told the receptionist my story and she said to sit and they could run a quick blood test, and have results this afternoon. So that is where we stand. Blood has been taken. Nurse was great - my veins like to roll, but they didn't. She even said that there are many women who never have a positive pee test! So again, better safe than sorry. Came home and now we wait until the call comes this afternoon.
I texted some people this morning who knew today was test day, to tell them what was happening. Lots of support and love comin' my way it sounds. Anyway, hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. Is this it? I sure hope so! But if not, we will try, try again! Thankfully I have a very supportive husband who is on the exact same page as me with wanting a baby. So thankful for him! Alright, now off for a shower. I got home from the gym late and started working without my shower. I stink of sweat! Will update later.
UPDATE: The verdict is in and it isn't good. So we begin again. Man this process sucks! What have we done to deserve such heartache and failure? I haven't cried this hard in a long time and I don't miss it! This is so painful.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Cycle Day #27 - IUI Cycle #1 - Horoscope
So this was my horoscope this morning: Take a good look at the way things have been going lately, and see if you can't come up with a new idea or two to make a change. There's no need for you to worry about your present situation, though.
I am hoping the horoscope is right.
Just finished my walk with Anna and now gonna go lay in bed for a minute or two, then get up and get ready for the day. My little Sierra (my puppy) gets so excited about our walks. Her energy is hard to contain and so sweet that she loves our walks so.
Tomorrow is the day...prayers are important people!
I am hoping the horoscope is right.
Just finished my walk with Anna and now gonna go lay in bed for a minute or two, then get up and get ready for the day. My little Sierra (my puppy) gets so excited about our walks. Her energy is hard to contain and so sweet that she loves our walks so.
Tomorrow is the day...prayers are important people!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Cycle Day #26 - IUI Cycle #1 - A little worried
So today wasn't too bad. No real symptoms, except tiredness and irritability, but those could be from stress too. I'm just worried that Friday will be disappointing and we will have to start over. I am hoping God has a happy surprise for me, but worried as well. I called Dr.H's office yesterday because wasn't quite sure when to test and the definite answer is Friday and if it is negative, then I stop my drugs. So it is Friday or we start over. I'm worried we may be starting over, but hoping Friday will be the happiest day for a long time. If you are expecting me to call/text/email you and you don't hear from me by noon, consider it bad news and I am curled up in bed probably drinking! If it works out then I will probably go spastic! Either way, I am still worried and scared of what is to come. Bed sounds like a good thing now. Later folks!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Cycle Day #25 - IUI Cycle #1 - A little bummed
So WW this morning didn't go well, I am up 2 lbs. But I kinda expected that after this weekend and yesterday. I did POAS this morning, even though I am fully aware that it is REALLY early, and it came up negative. DH asked if I did and I said yes and he was thoroughly surprised it showed negative. I reminded him it was really early. I told my self I wouldn't get bummed about it, but now I am kinda worried about when I do test. I called Dr. H's office and left a message asking when I should test because:
a. first he said 2 weeks from procedure
b. then he said 14-15 days after I started Prometrium (which was 2 days after procedure)
c. Monday the office is closed, so if I test Sunday, they can't test me until Tuesday at the earliest
We'll see what the doc said. But I am still kinda bummed thinking that Friday will be bad news and both of us will be really upset. I just pray that it was too early and things will become better by Friday. I need to find a way to cheer up... ;(
a. first he said 2 weeks from procedure
b. then he said 14-15 days after I started Prometrium (which was 2 days after procedure)
c. Monday the office is closed, so if I test Sunday, they can't test me until Tuesday at the earliest
We'll see what the doc said. But I am still kinda bummed thinking that Friday will be bad news and both of us will be really upset. I just pray that it was too early and things will become better by Friday. I need to find a way to cheer up... ;(
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