I PASSED! I PASSED! I FINALLY PASSED BIG NASTY!!!

Hello Bleaders....I'm literally shaking right now!!!  I just got the letter that confirmed I passed CFP today!!! OMG, I'm so excited I can't even begin to explain how excited I am!!

Letters were sent from DC on Tuesday and since last time it took about 4 days to get to me, I figured they would come today (Friday) so I kind of avoided the mail box.  I was working at home so I tried to stay busy so I wouldn't think about when the mail was coming and camp out by the mail box!  I had breakfast with a friend, lunch with my cousin and then ran some errands to give the mail man as much time as he needed to deliver that precious piece of paper.  And when I got home from my errands I made myself bring everything into the house before I got the mail, knowing I wouldn't make it if I waited.  So said a final prayer before I opened the mailbox and there was the big envelope with my name on.

I could kind of see the letters through the envelope and all I saw about the time I hit the garage was "CONGRATULATIONS" in all caps.  My heart started to beat out of my chest and I think I was saying, "Oh my God, I passed.  Oh my God, I passed!"  But of course my hands weren't working properly and I couldn't open the envelope nicely...so I ripped the sucker apart!!!

And there it said, CONGRATULATIONS and I just started screaming and crying all at the same time. 

The relief I felt was indescribable!  I was screaming at the top of my lungs and the animals were looking at me like I was crazy, but I couldn't help it.  I finally called J who was waiting on pins and needles for me to check the mail (he'd texted me while I was running errands avoiding the mailbox and asked if I had checked the mail yet), and he said, "I can't understand you, are you happy or sad?"  I screamed, "I passed!!  I passed!!" and he was very excited.

Then I called my Mom.  I hadn't told her that scores were coming so she thought I was just calling to chat and I managed to get out, "I passed my test!"  Her first words were, "Say it again!"  I said it again and she responded, "Say it again!"  We probably went through this for 6 cycles!  She was really excited as was my Dad who was next to her. 

Then the rest of the phone calls started...Melslaw, BFF in Phoenix, MBM (although I just left her a message saying I had an urgent computer issue and then she found out later on FB and called me), Ms. T, Schelle, Mama K, Super-Mom, Megs, Volleyball Queen, Lobster, Meanie Christinie (I sent her a text saying "Call me" with a sad face and she called me back in a panic...but I wanted to tell her - she didn't like that very much!), Busted Kate (left a message for her to call me), my Grandma (Mom's Mom), Mama Almond Joy, and U of A AFA. 

There were many conversations and very many screams!  I think my favorite was Volleyball Queen's.  She knew something was up because I usually text her so she answered kind of cautiously and I think I said, "I got my test scores back."  She said, "Did you pass?"  I said, "I did."  To which she replied, "no you did not!"  And I screamed back, "YES I DID!"  She said she wanted to scream but the baby was sleeping!!!!  It was great.

So after all the calls, the texts started to go out and now my phone won't stay quiet....not that I'm complaining!

BFF in Phoenix said it best.  She said, "now you can move on!  Next chapter starts now! Weight lifted, great year ready to continue!"  She had asked me this morning via text if I was excited that I had started BC and thus IVF, and I didn't really reply.  I was paralyzed with fear about my score, so now I can be excited that IVF is our next step!!!  I can enjoy it all!! 

I had a dream on Thursday night that shook me too my core.  Not only was BFF in Phoenix murdered, but J didn't seem to care when I told him.  And then he went to get the mail and told me my test scores hadn't come, when I could see them in his pocket.  So I yanked them from him and I hadn't passed.  I woke up in a panic and texted BFF in Phoenix to make sure she was okay and then fussed all day about my test scores and failing.  When I went to the gym I told Meanie Christinie about my dream and she misunderstood me when I got to the part about failing the exam and when I corrected myself she told me her heart had stopped for a minute when I said I failed.  Thankfully, neither of those things happened, BFF in Phoenix is alive and well and I passed my test!!!

I need to go celebrate, but I wanted you all to know because you guys have stood by me for so long and listened to be bitch about big nasty and you don't have to anymore!  It's all over!  I WIN!

Have a wonderful weekend, I know I will!!! ;)