I know I haven't written for a while because I go from things to publish and things to not until later. This is a not until later publish.
So about 6 days from now I test. I've been having symptoms that I would love to associate with pregnancy, but also could be do to stress (headaches, cravings, fatigue, etc) as last week was crazy stressful. I think about taking that next test and hoping it says yes, but also thinking it won't because it never has before, but then this time could be different. I'm really trying to be optimistic, but now it is hard.
We've decided (and I may have already said this) that if this month doesn't work, we are going to take a break for the holidays. There is too much going on and that way I can drink for my 30th birthday party and we don't have to worry about scheduling things around holidays or the doctor's vacation. I figure we'll take at least Nov and Dec off and possibly a couple months in 2010 to recharge our checking account and ourselves and not concentrate on it.
I also have decided to stop all the drugs, even the Prometrium because it really is a pain! But, I will continue to order it as much as I can until the end of the month so that I can stock up and only pay $25 per bottle instead of $182 per bottle. It may seem like a waste of money when we don't have to, but that kind of savings is important before the end of the year comes and the deductible starts over. Plus the doc has told me I will need to take it for the first 3 months of pregnancy (which will really suck because now I only take it for 2 weeks and it is annoying), but we gotta do what we gotta do. If I can get another bottle and possibly a third, then I will be set for either 3 months of pregnancy or 6 months of trying for $75! Works for me!
Nothing else here, just trying to stay positive and sane (work has been a little hellish) and eat right. And study! I start my CFP 4 next week and I am not where I want to be. But life gets in the way of our plans sometimes. Looking forward to my 30th birthday party and seeing great friends and getting dressed up. But for now, off to find some lunch.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Last baby on the shelf
So I have a friend also going through this sucky process, and she has just started a blog. One of her first comments was something someone said to her a while back and it really stuck with me:
"Your friend (whoever just told you they are pregnant) did not take the last baby on the shelf. She didn't cut in line. And she didn't take a baby away from you."
Now I know for all you people out there who get pregnant in the blink of an eye, this seems uber-logical and normal. But it really put this in perspective from me. I have had that thought before. "Oh, she's pregnant now, there goes our chance this month." What is happening to "her" has nothing to do with what is happening to me. God isn't laughing at me by making all my girlfriends pregnant and me not. (Trust me, there are times I have thought it!) It really sunk it with that comment.
Now, I will say that when a friend has told me she is pregnant, I have NEVER been mad at her. NEVER! I have been sad for us. Sad that we can't experience what they have or are or will. I have been upset that the pregnancy fairy seems to see our house and high-tail it to Mexico or Europe, as far away as she can get. But I have NEVER been mad at a friend for her good fortune and the excitement that her life has become. (So don't be thinkin' that ladies!)
This process is really hard. You watch your close friends, co-workers, Facebook friends, and even complete strangers get pregnant in a heartbeat, all the while counting your days until OV, taking fertility drugs, visiting doctors, trying not to think about it, and paying bills that insurance won't even consider cover so why ask.
Thankfully, I am surrounded by friends who have learned to let me come to them to tell them of my tale of woe. They ask and if I don't elaborate, they can tell I don't want to talk about it. If my eyes tear up, then they let me fall into their arms and just hold me. They don't let go until I do. And they never say, "can we talk about something other than you infertility?" They listen, they ask questions, and they research so they can have a taste of what we go thru month-in and month-out, for 2 years and 3 months. They tell me I look great and beautiful and in-shape. And if I don't say it enough folks, thank you. It does mean a lot. (I love you guys!)
Now, for the not-so-close friends who I may have mentioned we were trying to when we started or the random guy at the kid's party we are at that bugs us with why we don't have kids yet, SHUT UP! I know that seems like an easy conversation starter, but you have no idea what is going on behind the scenes. Be a little bit more contientous (sp?) and lay off. It's like bugging a recovering alcoholic to have a drink. So when someone says, "we're trying." Say "good luck" nicely and talk about the weather instead. We won't take it as rude, we are happy you aren't asking how long we have been trying, and "has she tried standing on her head after sex" or "getting drunk and doing it" or "forgetting about trying?" (The answers are yes, yes and yes, and yes to anything else you may think of that you think we have NEVER heard for the last 2 or 5 or 10 years of trying to conceive a child.) So just don't say it okay, it only makes you look like an insensitive moron. And makes me want to glue your car doors shut (sorry Kate, had to steal it, so good!). But those people don't read this blog, so tell your friends and co-workers and the random lady in the grocery store.
Alright, now that I have that off my chest, it is time for a shower. Oh, and if you are someone who follows the blog, but isn't a designated "follower", please let me know. I really like knowing who I am talking to. So please click the "follow" button so I can think of you as I write. Thanks! Later folks!
"Your friend (whoever just told you they are pregnant) did not take the last baby on the shelf. She didn't cut in line. And she didn't take a baby away from you."
Now I know for all you people out there who get pregnant in the blink of an eye, this seems uber-logical and normal. But it really put this in perspective from me. I have had that thought before. "Oh, she's pregnant now, there goes our chance this month." What is happening to "her" has nothing to do with what is happening to me. God isn't laughing at me by making all my girlfriends pregnant and me not. (Trust me, there are times I have thought it!) It really sunk it with that comment.
Now, I will say that when a friend has told me she is pregnant, I have NEVER been mad at her. NEVER! I have been sad for us. Sad that we can't experience what they have or are or will. I have been upset that the pregnancy fairy seems to see our house and high-tail it to Mexico or Europe, as far away as she can get. But I have NEVER been mad at a friend for her good fortune and the excitement that her life has become. (So don't be thinkin' that ladies!)
This process is really hard. You watch your close friends, co-workers, Facebook friends, and even complete strangers get pregnant in a heartbeat, all the while counting your days until OV, taking fertility drugs, visiting doctors, trying not to think about it, and paying bills that insurance won't even consider cover so why ask.
Thankfully, I am surrounded by friends who have learned to let me come to them to tell them of my tale of woe. They ask and if I don't elaborate, they can tell I don't want to talk about it. If my eyes tear up, then they let me fall into their arms and just hold me. They don't let go until I do. And they never say, "can we talk about something other than you infertility?" They listen, they ask questions, and they research so they can have a taste of what we go thru month-in and month-out, for 2 years and 3 months. They tell me I look great and beautiful and in-shape. And if I don't say it enough folks, thank you. It does mean a lot. (I love you guys!)
Now, for the not-so-close friends who I may have mentioned we were trying to when we started or the random guy at the kid's party we are at that bugs us with why we don't have kids yet, SHUT UP! I know that seems like an easy conversation starter, but you have no idea what is going on behind the scenes. Be a little bit more contientous (sp?) and lay off. It's like bugging a recovering alcoholic to have a drink. So when someone says, "we're trying." Say "good luck" nicely and talk about the weather instead. We won't take it as rude, we are happy you aren't asking how long we have been trying, and "has she tried standing on her head after sex" or "getting drunk and doing it" or "forgetting about trying?" (The answers are yes, yes and yes, and yes to anything else you may think of that you think we have NEVER heard for the last 2 or 5 or 10 years of trying to conceive a child.) So just don't say it okay, it only makes you look like an insensitive moron. And makes me want to glue your car doors shut (sorry Kate, had to steal it, so good!). But those people don't read this blog, so tell your friends and co-workers and the random lady in the grocery store.
Alright, now that I have that off my chest, it is time for a shower. Oh, and if you are someone who follows the blog, but isn't a designated "follower", please let me know. I really like knowing who I am talking to. So please click the "follow" button so I can think of you as I write. Thanks! Later folks!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
10/18/09 - Cycle Day #14 - IUI Cycle #3
So today was the day. Well, let me start with last night. Wildcats beat Stanford in a nail biter of a game, and it came down to the last 30 seconds, literally! But they did it and it rocked! Afterwards, we went out to dinner with Will and his parents at Old Chicago. It was very nice but very late for this old girl - finished dinner about 9:30 pm! YIKES! Yummy italian nachos tho! Had to BD just for safety and then off to bed, early morning today.
No swimming today, had to be at the doc's at 8:15 am. So up about 7:15, checked email, got dressed and started waking DH up - let me tell you, it can be a process. Plus he had "work" to do. Finally got him up and I headed downstairs to wait. Pretty soon, ready to go. Got there, no worries, I even thought (because we were running late) that if we got pulled over for speeding, I would tell him to follow us to the doc's office and ticket us there. But we didn't! :)
Got everything squared away - I had taken the office staff some cookies (Snickerdoodles) that I made for the jewelry party. Figured it couldn't hurt to have good juju, right? They were appreciated. Waited, and waited, and waited. Finally called back to our room, changed and more waiting. Doc finally comes in, thanks us for the cookies, and we begin. No nurse for whatever reason, so after showing us the vial with our names on it and our stuff in it, and asking us if we wanted to keep it (EWW, once again), we begin. However, he preps the catheter that is used to do the procedure, and hands it to DH to hold, so DH actually had a "hand" in it all. Anyway, nurse finally comes in and takes the thing back from DH and begins. Usually it is just a little pressure, but today was some serious cramping, maybe not SERIOUS, but moderately serious. And it seemed to take a long time, longer than usual. So I am choosing to take that as a good thing. Doc said everything went great, and there could be spotting, but thus far nada. So he leaves, and we wait, knees up, for about 10 minutes, then the timer (kitchen timer) goes off, I get dressed and we leave. Asked Doc on the way out when to start Prometrium, and he said Tuesday so will do.
Stopped at Starbucks in Basha's on our way home and got a iced green tea latte, decaf - well I think it was, but the box on the cup wasn't checked, but I didn't get a buzz from it either. I sure hope it was! Had a minor discussion with the barista about pregnancy because I was rubbing my belly and had asked about decaf. She asked, I said no, we just got inseminated and she said that she did that for an aunt, offered her eggs that is. Anyway, got my drink and wandered to the bakery for a croissant, but ended up with the other guy's 2 sugar donuts. Oh well. Came home, laid down for a while and watched "White Chicks." Finally, up for a bit to pay bills and do grown-up stuff, then make some lunch and surprise, surprise, it was healthy (turkey sandwich, fruit and carrots). I impressed even myself. Spent the next couple hours on the couch watching shows from the week that we had taped but had no time to watch, making sure to keep my uterus elevated.
Finally, made some dinner and relaxed some more. Now off to watch Desperate Housewives. Have Acu after the gym tomorrow, before work, to hopefully help with the whole thing. And then we pray.
No swimming today, had to be at the doc's at 8:15 am. So up about 7:15, checked email, got dressed and started waking DH up - let me tell you, it can be a process. Plus he had "work" to do. Finally got him up and I headed downstairs to wait. Pretty soon, ready to go. Got there, no worries, I even thought (because we were running late) that if we got pulled over for speeding, I would tell him to follow us to the doc's office and ticket us there. But we didn't! :)
Got everything squared away - I had taken the office staff some cookies (Snickerdoodles) that I made for the jewelry party. Figured it couldn't hurt to have good juju, right? They were appreciated. Waited, and waited, and waited. Finally called back to our room, changed and more waiting. Doc finally comes in, thanks us for the cookies, and we begin. No nurse for whatever reason, so after showing us the vial with our names on it and our stuff in it, and asking us if we wanted to keep it (EWW, once again), we begin. However, he preps the catheter that is used to do the procedure, and hands it to DH to hold, so DH actually had a "hand" in it all. Anyway, nurse finally comes in and takes the thing back from DH and begins. Usually it is just a little pressure, but today was some serious cramping, maybe not SERIOUS, but moderately serious. And it seemed to take a long time, longer than usual. So I am choosing to take that as a good thing. Doc said everything went great, and there could be spotting, but thus far nada. So he leaves, and we wait, knees up, for about 10 minutes, then the timer (kitchen timer) goes off, I get dressed and we leave. Asked Doc on the way out when to start Prometrium, and he said Tuesday so will do.
Stopped at Starbucks in Basha's on our way home and got a iced green tea latte, decaf - well I think it was, but the box on the cup wasn't checked, but I didn't get a buzz from it either. I sure hope it was! Had a minor discussion with the barista about pregnancy because I was rubbing my belly and had asked about decaf. She asked, I said no, we just got inseminated and she said that she did that for an aunt, offered her eggs that is. Anyway, got my drink and wandered to the bakery for a croissant, but ended up with the other guy's 2 sugar donuts. Oh well. Came home, laid down for a while and watched "White Chicks." Finally, up for a bit to pay bills and do grown-up stuff, then make some lunch and surprise, surprise, it was healthy (turkey sandwich, fruit and carrots). I impressed even myself. Spent the next couple hours on the couch watching shows from the week that we had taped but had no time to watch, making sure to keep my uterus elevated.
Finally, made some dinner and relaxed some more. Now off to watch Desperate Housewives. Have Acu after the gym tomorrow, before work, to hopefully help with the whole thing. And then we pray.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
10/17/2009 - Cycle Day #13 - IUI Cycle #3
So today was the jewelry party and it was a blast. Just nice to hang with the girls and have some girlyness! Lots of food, conversation and trying on gorgeous jewelry. I finally got my ring that I had been pining for since the party in June or July and it is some kind of prettiness! Plus, I saw a necklace that Cori had that I loved but wouldn't buy, mentioned it and she just gave it to me! I now have a huge list as far as ordering goes, but I figured it out, I will get about $800 worth of Jewelry for $190! That is insane! That is with all my orders from my girls and my freebees, rock on!
Kinda let it slip that tomorrow is IUI day at the party. Michele (who I swim with) had asked if I would be at swimming tomorrow and I said no. She asked why and I said I had a doc's appt, well all the girls looked at me and said "On a Sunday?!" I replied, "yeah, doc comes when body says to." They got it, so it isn't much of a secret this month. Won't post this until after the fact, but some people know.
Tomorrow bright and early - and I mean early - we need to be there, sample in hand at 8:15 am! On a Sunday, for DH, that is early. I am usually up and gone by 7:15 am for swimming, but he usually sleeps in until I get home about 11 am, after breakfast with Dad, showering and swimming. IUI is at 8:45 am, and then the 2 ww begins. Hope your fingers are crossed, even though you don't know it is happening. Alright, need to go watch the rest of the U of A and Stanford game, then head to dinner with DH, Will and his dad.
Oh wait, cutest thing at the party - well 2 -
1. We each had to read this paper that was in our little bag of jewelry to try on and show off, and I helped Ryann (who is 5) read hers. I would read 4-5 words, and she would repeat it after me. She did so good and it was so cute!
2. At the end of the party, I had taken off my shoes (Jessica Simpson heeled - high - sandals) and I walked away to clean up. Talia was still there with her 2 kids and MIL Connie. Her daughter, Ava (age 3) slips her tiny feet in my heels and attempts to walk around. I came over and held her hands so she wouldn't break an ankle, but she was in heaven! It was so cute! A diva in the making for sure!
Alright, peace out!
Kinda let it slip that tomorrow is IUI day at the party. Michele (who I swim with) had asked if I would be at swimming tomorrow and I said no. She asked why and I said I had a doc's appt, well all the girls looked at me and said "On a Sunday?!" I replied, "yeah, doc comes when body says to." They got it, so it isn't much of a secret this month. Won't post this until after the fact, but some people know.
Tomorrow bright and early - and I mean early - we need to be there, sample in hand at 8:15 am! On a Sunday, for DH, that is early. I am usually up and gone by 7:15 am for swimming, but he usually sleeps in until I get home about 11 am, after breakfast with Dad, showering and swimming. IUI is at 8:45 am, and then the 2 ww begins. Hope your fingers are crossed, even though you don't know it is happening. Alright, need to go watch the rest of the U of A and Stanford game, then head to dinner with DH, Will and his dad.
Oh wait, cutest thing at the party - well 2 -
1. We each had to read this paper that was in our little bag of jewelry to try on and show off, and I helped Ryann (who is 5) read hers. I would read 4-5 words, and she would repeat it after me. She did so good and it was so cute!
2. At the end of the party, I had taken off my shoes (Jessica Simpson heeled - high - sandals) and I walked away to clean up. Talia was still there with her 2 kids and MIL Connie. Her daughter, Ava (age 3) slips her tiny feet in my heels and attempts to walk around. I came over and held her hands so she wouldn't break an ankle, but she was in heaven! It was so cute! A diva in the making for sure!
Alright, peace out!
Friday, October 16, 2009
Some sweet things
So for all the times I bitch about my husband, he definitely has good times that I keep to myself. Well here are a couple I want to share.
- He cleaned up the front yard last night and plans to clean up the back yard tonight so that the house will be pretty for my jewelry party tomorrow. Plus he plans on helping me tidy up the house.
- He took my car to work today so he could make sure it is running great, and had the detail guy at work clean it for me so it smells nice (sadly, all that time at the gym and the gym clothes in the car make it kind of stinky sometimes).
- He appreciated that I went to Super Target last night and got him new shoes (that took forever because when I got to the line I realized the box said 11 but the shoes said 10 1/2, and getting them brought to me in the right size took FOREVER). I could have done it faster in my heels...you know when the guy behind you says, "I'll go get the shoes" that it is taking a long time.
- He won't go camping with his buddies this weekend because I am "ovulating". Hearing him actually say that word was hysterical, especially telling his buddy and his buddy's girlfriend. At least they understood why he was so adamant about not going and didn't feel like it wasn't cause he didn't like them!
- Then, he told me this story last night: Yesterday, we both left for work about the same time, except I stopped at the gas station by our house to fill up. He said that as he was stopped at the light he looked over at the gas station, and in his words, "saw the hottest girl with the best bootie!" He looked again, and then realized it was me! So I could take this that he scopes out other girls, or that he saw me and before he realized it was me, thought I was hot. I go for #2!
- Lastly, he told me that he doesn't want me losing any more weight because he likes me just the way I am and he likes my boobs the way they are. So maybe he isn't poetic, but his point comes across loud and clear!
I'm a very lucky lady and most days I feel that way. There are others where I wonder what planet he dropped off of, but 90% of the time he is great. But 100% of the time I love him and his craziness!
- He cleaned up the front yard last night and plans to clean up the back yard tonight so that the house will be pretty for my jewelry party tomorrow. Plus he plans on helping me tidy up the house.
- He took my car to work today so he could make sure it is running great, and had the detail guy at work clean it for me so it smells nice (sadly, all that time at the gym and the gym clothes in the car make it kind of stinky sometimes).
- He appreciated that I went to Super Target last night and got him new shoes (that took forever because when I got to the line I realized the box said 11 but the shoes said 10 1/2, and getting them brought to me in the right size took FOREVER). I could have done it faster in my heels...you know when the guy behind you says, "I'll go get the shoes" that it is taking a long time.
- He won't go camping with his buddies this weekend because I am "ovulating". Hearing him actually say that word was hysterical, especially telling his buddy and his buddy's girlfriend. At least they understood why he was so adamant about not going and didn't feel like it wasn't cause he didn't like them!
- Then, he told me this story last night: Yesterday, we both left for work about the same time, except I stopped at the gas station by our house to fill up. He said that as he was stopped at the light he looked over at the gas station, and in his words, "saw the hottest girl with the best bootie!" He looked again, and then realized it was me! So I could take this that he scopes out other girls, or that he saw me and before he realized it was me, thought I was hot. I go for #2!
- Lastly, he told me that he doesn't want me losing any more weight because he likes me just the way I am and he likes my boobs the way they are. So maybe he isn't poetic, but his point comes across loud and clear!
I'm a very lucky lady and most days I feel that way. There are others where I wonder what planet he dropped off of, but 90% of the time he is great. But 100% of the time I love him and his craziness!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Oh soreness...
So I worked out with Andrew (my trainer) yesterday, which I do once a month, and then I do whatever routine he gives me for the next 4 weeks and then we workout again and change it up. Anyway, usually he changes one or two exercises and leaves the rest alone. He must have been a little cranky yesterday, or just wanted to whip me into shape because he changed 2/3rds of my routine! And boy am I feeling the effect of it today. I did things I never thought I could and I love him for that. He makes it interesting and he has more faith in me than I do! Which is why I go to him and his gym! Everything hurts...my arms, my abs, my obliques, my butt! All of it!
Did Turbo Jam this morning with Anna and am hoping that will calm some of the soreness down, because I have to do it all again on Friday!!!
But then comes the jewelry party and that should be loads of fun...can't wait for Saturday!
Did Turbo Jam this morning with Anna and am hoping that will calm some of the soreness down, because I have to do it all again on Friday!!!
But then comes the jewelry party and that should be loads of fun...can't wait for Saturday!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
10/13/09 - Cycle Day #8 - IUI Cycle #3
(To be posted at a later date)
I know I've been absent lately, but nothing really to report. Got to have lunch when Seana was in town and that was great. Being able to connect with someone going through the same thing and really understand is important. It was also nice to catch up after 14 years of losing touch.
The next ultrasound is on Friday and Jason should be able to go, but if he can't, then we will deal. He doesn't want to tell his boss why but his boss keeps asking for doctor's notes. His boss tends to have a big mouth, so if he tells him, he tells EVERYONE! I just told him to tell his boss that he needs to go to the doc with me and it is personal. That explains why there is no doctor's notes and the time away from work. I love Jason's dedication to this process. He has faith even when I lose mine and vice versa.
I assume the IUI will be on Sunday just because that seems to be our system the last 2 times and I don't think it can be earlier, say Saturday, because of how far ahead I have to take the drugs. Jason has to work Sat so Sunday would be great. I can go swim, come home, grab him and we go do this, then take it easy the rest of the day and no one is the wiser except Dad because we can't go to breakfast. And Mom because he will tell her. But that is okay.
I think I finally figured out why I am not super motivated to go back to WW full time right now. It is because I am pretty happy with how I look and feel. I like my waist and my curves, and I don't want to lose them entirely. Meeting with my trainer tomorrow so will discuss things with him. He always helps me see the upside. But that means I need to get to bed...so night all!
Oh - very excited about my 30th birthday party! Can't wait to see all the people I love and just have a good time! Plus Michelle is in town and Kirstin too! YAY! All in good time.
I know I've been absent lately, but nothing really to report. Got to have lunch when Seana was in town and that was great. Being able to connect with someone going through the same thing and really understand is important. It was also nice to catch up after 14 years of losing touch.
The next ultrasound is on Friday and Jason should be able to go, but if he can't, then we will deal. He doesn't want to tell his boss why but his boss keeps asking for doctor's notes. His boss tends to have a big mouth, so if he tells him, he tells EVERYONE! I just told him to tell his boss that he needs to go to the doc with me and it is personal. That explains why there is no doctor's notes and the time away from work. I love Jason's dedication to this process. He has faith even when I lose mine and vice versa.
I assume the IUI will be on Sunday just because that seems to be our system the last 2 times and I don't think it can be earlier, say Saturday, because of how far ahead I have to take the drugs. Jason has to work Sat so Sunday would be great. I can go swim, come home, grab him and we go do this, then take it easy the rest of the day and no one is the wiser except Dad because we can't go to breakfast. And Mom because he will tell her. But that is okay.
I think I finally figured out why I am not super motivated to go back to WW full time right now. It is because I am pretty happy with how I look and feel. I like my waist and my curves, and I don't want to lose them entirely. Meeting with my trainer tomorrow so will discuss things with him. He always helps me see the upside. But that means I need to get to bed...so night all!
Oh - very excited about my 30th birthday party! Can't wait to see all the people I love and just have a good time! Plus Michelle is in town and Kirstin too! YAY! All in good time.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
And the verdict is....
So DH and I discussed the options the doc gave me today and decided to do our 3rd run of the same IUI as the last 2 months. We won't add the injectables and will hope for the best. If it doesn't work, then we'll take at least the holidays off, if not a couple months into 2010 and then go again when we are ready with the injectables then. Gives us some time to save up money, de-stress and relax a bit.
Thanks for all the support and will talk to you all again soon! I'll keep blogging I swear, just may not be as much.
Thanks for all the support and will talk to you all again soon! I'll keep blogging I swear, just may not be as much.
Big Decision Time
So I was able to talk to Dr. H today about where we go from here. He had some great insight and was very patient in answering all of my questions.
Q1: How can we up our chances this month? Injectibles? Drugs/supplements/vitamins for DH? Drugs/supplements/vitamins for me?
A1: Injectibles would take chances from about 15% to as high as 25%, but add about $600 to cost of cycle and higher risk of twins, as well as introducing the risk of triplets. As far as drugs or supplements for either of us, he just said eating vegetables and exercising is the important thing. He called in the prescription for the Femara. And we need to figure out if we are doing the injectibles by tomorrow, so they can do an ultrasound before we start them and show me how to do them because the injectibles would start on day 6!
Q2: How much should we do the IUI before deeming it doesn't work? What is the average amount of times that patients do IUI before success?
A2: 2-3 times with each given method. So if we just did the fertility drugs for another round, then after that we could switch it up and add injectibles and try for another 3 times. But if it hasn't worked after 3 times per method, we need to change something or do IVF.
Q3: Should I get a flu shot or H1N1 shot?
A3: My Acu said NO! My RE said absolutely because I am 6x more likely to die if I get pregnant and have the flu or HIN1. (I have never had a flu shot in my life...is this the time to start?!)
Q4: What about the symptoms I was having last week, nausea and increased sense of smell?
A4: It could have been an early biochemical pregnancy which wouldn't show up on a pee stick because it wasn't stable enough to stick around.
Q5: If we take November and December off, no drugs AT ALL will that hurt us?
A5: No, it would be good to relax a bit and wouldn't affect any further procedures. Might even get pregnant on our own.
Q6: What effects do stress have on IUI? How to relieve?
A6: Stress is always bad. RE said that acu and exercising are good ways to relieve it, while Acu said deep belly breathing will help me. She gave me homework to do it 6 times a day!
Q7: What do you tell patients to think during this process?
A7: Acu said to think about preparing my body for a baby, whenever he/she decides to join us. RE said to be cautiously optimistic - whatever that means!
Q8: Should we do more testing on DH or me since my last was when we first started this and DH was a while ago?
A8: No, on both counts. RE said he tests DH's sample every time we do an IUI and if they saw significant changes, they would tell us and we would consult about it then. As for me, it isn't necessary until we decided to move onto IVF.
Q9: Should I continue with the Acu?
A9: Yes! He said he would gladly talk to my Acu about Chinese herbs that we could do in Nov & Dec if the transfer didn't work in October.
Q10: Should we look into the possible Endo again? Laproscopy?
A10: Not at this time because I am not having symptoms and it wouldn't increase our chances of pregnancy now.
Q11: What about surrogacy for us? How does that work?
A11: RE thinks my uterus works just fine so he would say at this point we shouldn't do this. Basically it would be IVF on our surrogate, instead of me.
So, where do we go from here? I need to talk to DH and see what he thinks. I'm thinking we go with the injectibles because it ups our chances, without killing us at the bank like IVF would and then if it doesn't work, we know we have given it all we have this year and then I think take a break in November and December. With the holidays and my 30th birthday party, it just seems to make sense. Will have to have a big discussion with DH tonight so we can determine if we are going in for u/s on Friday. RE did say that if we decide not to do the injectibles, he didn't feel he needed to see us for an ultrasound on Day 12 because my cycles are so precise and at this point they could just guess. So need to see what DH says. Who knew getting pregnant could be so involved, or so expensive?! I thought babies were expensive, not MAKING them!
Q1: How can we up our chances this month? Injectibles? Drugs/supplements/vitamins for DH? Drugs/supplements/vitamins for me?
A1: Injectibles would take chances from about 15% to as high as 25%, but add about $600 to cost of cycle and higher risk of twins, as well as introducing the risk of triplets. As far as drugs or supplements for either of us, he just said eating vegetables and exercising is the important thing. He called in the prescription for the Femara. And we need to figure out if we are doing the injectibles by tomorrow, so they can do an ultrasound before we start them and show me how to do them because the injectibles would start on day 6!
Q2: How much should we do the IUI before deeming it doesn't work? What is the average amount of times that patients do IUI before success?
A2: 2-3 times with each given method. So if we just did the fertility drugs for another round, then after that we could switch it up and add injectibles and try for another 3 times. But if it hasn't worked after 3 times per method, we need to change something or do IVF.
Q3: Should I get a flu shot or H1N1 shot?
A3: My Acu said NO! My RE said absolutely because I am 6x more likely to die if I get pregnant and have the flu or HIN1. (I have never had a flu shot in my life...is this the time to start?!)
Q4: What about the symptoms I was having last week, nausea and increased sense of smell?
A4: It could have been an early biochemical pregnancy which wouldn't show up on a pee stick because it wasn't stable enough to stick around.
Q5: If we take November and December off, no drugs AT ALL will that hurt us?
A5: No, it would be good to relax a bit and wouldn't affect any further procedures. Might even get pregnant on our own.
Q6: What effects do stress have on IUI? How to relieve?
A6: Stress is always bad. RE said that acu and exercising are good ways to relieve it, while Acu said deep belly breathing will help me. She gave me homework to do it 6 times a day!
Q7: What do you tell patients to think during this process?
A7: Acu said to think about preparing my body for a baby, whenever he/she decides to join us. RE said to be cautiously optimistic - whatever that means!
Q8: Should we do more testing on DH or me since my last was when we first started this and DH was a while ago?
A8: No, on both counts. RE said he tests DH's sample every time we do an IUI and if they saw significant changes, they would tell us and we would consult about it then. As for me, it isn't necessary until we decided to move onto IVF.
Q9: Should I continue with the Acu?
A9: Yes! He said he would gladly talk to my Acu about Chinese herbs that we could do in Nov & Dec if the transfer didn't work in October.
Q10: Should we look into the possible Endo again? Laproscopy?
A10: Not at this time because I am not having symptoms and it wouldn't increase our chances of pregnancy now.
Q11: What about surrogacy for us? How does that work?
A11: RE thinks my uterus works just fine so he would say at this point we shouldn't do this. Basically it would be IVF on our surrogate, instead of me.
So, where do we go from here? I need to talk to DH and see what he thinks. I'm thinking we go with the injectibles because it ups our chances, without killing us at the bank like IVF would and then if it doesn't work, we know we have given it all we have this year and then I think take a break in November and December. With the holidays and my 30th birthday party, it just seems to make sense. Will have to have a big discussion with DH tonight so we can determine if we are going in for u/s on Friday. RE did say that if we decide not to do the injectibles, he didn't feel he needed to see us for an ultrasound on Day 12 because my cycles are so precise and at this point they could just guess. So need to see what DH says. Who knew getting pregnant could be so involved, or so expensive?! I thought babies were expensive, not MAKING them!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Cycle Day #28 - IUI Cycle #2 - Test day
And the answer remains to be no. This cycle didn't work either. I remain not pregnant.
I know that I don't believe the pee sticks sometimes, and tomorrow I will probably do it again just to be sure, but they have been right thus far so what is to say they aren't anymore?
This is getting ridiculous. I mean really...come on. Just let it work. I'm drinking my whole milk, despite WW! I'm not drinking my tea or my stevia. I'm not drinking any alcohol after I start my drugs, so only cycle days 1 and 2, if that. I'm mostly eating right. I'm working out. I'm on the drugs the doc gives me and makes me inject myself with. What else can we do? I will call the doc on Monday and tell them, and I was considering going over there for a blood test. Which will discuss with Jason.
But now need to talk to the doc about what we can do to up our chances of getting pregnant. This cycle of death is very tiring and depressing. I don't know what is wrong with me that I cannot get pregnant! DAMN IT!
We're supposed to go look at a place to have my birthday party today and I am thinking I will now have a drink there to "try them out" and because apparently it is safe. But I am always worried I will mess something up too. Why is this so damn difficult?!
I know that I don't believe the pee sticks sometimes, and tomorrow I will probably do it again just to be sure, but they have been right thus far so what is to say they aren't anymore?
This is getting ridiculous. I mean really...come on. Just let it work. I'm drinking my whole milk, despite WW! I'm not drinking my tea or my stevia. I'm not drinking any alcohol after I start my drugs, so only cycle days 1 and 2, if that. I'm mostly eating right. I'm working out. I'm on the drugs the doc gives me and makes me inject myself with. What else can we do? I will call the doc on Monday and tell them, and I was considering going over there for a blood test. Which will discuss with Jason.
But now need to talk to the doc about what we can do to up our chances of getting pregnant. This cycle of death is very tiring and depressing. I don't know what is wrong with me that I cannot get pregnant! DAMN IT!
We're supposed to go look at a place to have my birthday party today and I am thinking I will now have a drink there to "try them out" and because apparently it is safe. But I am always worried I will mess something up too. Why is this so damn difficult?!
Friday, October 2, 2009
10/2/2009 - Cycle Day #27 - IUI Cycle #2 - Smells?
So thankfully, this week has been far less stressful than last week. Lots of work to do, just not as much drama! Love that! A couple weird things and then it's back to work.
1. Smells - the last couple days I seem to have a heightened sense of smell. For instance, Wednesday morning and this morning at the gym, I was on the second level of the gym on the treadmill, when they started to brew coffee on the first level and I feel like I smelt it the instant he poured the coffee into the pot to brew. So strong like someone was holding it in front of my nose! Then, later this morning, one of the trainers was eating 3 hard boiled eggs (for about 2 seconds) in front of me and there was a cup of cold coffee sitting there and the smells combined and I almost puked! It was so strong! Then, I fed the dogs this morning and while getting their DRY food out of the bin in the garage, I had to suck in my breath because it felt so strong. Then, on Tuesday while I was downstairs having lunch I started noticing this really odd smell. And I looked around and Blazer (our youngest dog) was licking the new-ish rug. Now I am not sure that constitutes a smell, but I smelt something and when he stopped it went away. It was definitely an industrial smell, not food or body odor. Very odd! None of these things have affected me before, but the last couple days, they have been. I know that this is a sign of pregnancy, and while I am hoping it is the one I want, I'm not banking on it yet. But REALLY REALLY hoping!
2. Nausea - still have a bit. Nothing drastic, just a couple twinges here and there. None as bad as Tuesday (the coffee and eggs was close), but still sometimes just feel eh.
3. Radiating differently? Wednesday, at the gym, one of the trainers who I talk to quite often distinctly came over to me while I was doing the ab roller. I asked if he was going to correct me and he said no, just came to harass. He asked if everything was alright and I said yes. He said I just was acting different or looked different, but he couldn't place what. I couldn't help him because I felt completely the same. I wasn't mad, I wasn't overly happy, I was just working out at the gym. Could he be sensing a change in my body? Let's hope so.
I think that is all for now. Just very different things lately. Hmm...tomorrow is the big day. Hopefully it is really good news!
1. Smells - the last couple days I seem to have a heightened sense of smell. For instance, Wednesday morning and this morning at the gym, I was on the second level of the gym on the treadmill, when they started to brew coffee on the first level and I feel like I smelt it the instant he poured the coffee into the pot to brew. So strong like someone was holding it in front of my nose! Then, later this morning, one of the trainers was eating 3 hard boiled eggs (for about 2 seconds) in front of me and there was a cup of cold coffee sitting there and the smells combined and I almost puked! It was so strong! Then, I fed the dogs this morning and while getting their DRY food out of the bin in the garage, I had to suck in my breath because it felt so strong. Then, on Tuesday while I was downstairs having lunch I started noticing this really odd smell. And I looked around and Blazer (our youngest dog) was licking the new-ish rug. Now I am not sure that constitutes a smell, but I smelt something and when he stopped it went away. It was definitely an industrial smell, not food or body odor. Very odd! None of these things have affected me before, but the last couple days, they have been. I know that this is a sign of pregnancy, and while I am hoping it is the one I want, I'm not banking on it yet. But REALLY REALLY hoping!
2. Nausea - still have a bit. Nothing drastic, just a couple twinges here and there. None as bad as Tuesday (the coffee and eggs was close), but still sometimes just feel eh.
3. Radiating differently? Wednesday, at the gym, one of the trainers who I talk to quite often distinctly came over to me while I was doing the ab roller. I asked if he was going to correct me and he said no, just came to harass. He asked if everything was alright and I said yes. He said I just was acting different or looked different, but he couldn't place what. I couldn't help him because I felt completely the same. I wasn't mad, I wasn't overly happy, I was just working out at the gym. Could he be sensing a change in my body? Let's hope so.
I think that is all for now. Just very different things lately. Hmm...tomorrow is the big day. Hopefully it is really good news!
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