So dearest Bleeps (there I go again, stealing Busted Kate's word), it's 3:24 am and I'm up blogging. I got up to pee and my mind started racing about the events of today, some other stuff going down in our lives, and pretty much anything you can think of besides going to bed. So, since part of what I was writing in my brain were blogs, I figured I would get them out and maybe, just maybe, it would be enough to let me go back to sleep until I get up at 5:15 am for boot camp. That, and the bright light of the computer screen always helps tire my eyes out.
After I blogged last night, J and I had dinner, watched some TV, and finally I wandered off to bed about 10 pm. I won a meditation set from Busted Kate from Circle and Bloom last year some time for IVF, so I've been listening to that at night or at acupuncture to calm me down and help me go to sleep at night. Works great, usually when I take my ear buds out I'm out cold. Tonight was a little different in that afterwards I said a longish prayer to help us with our next step in life, mostly surrounding today's adventure. And the weirdest/greatest thing happened. Right as I thought, "Please Lord, help this IVF work and get us a baby or two healthy babies" I felt pressure on my left shoulder. Now I'm laying in bed, by myself, J is downstairs and there is NOBODY near me. For just about a half second, it truly felt like someone had their hand on my shoulder. It was almost like somebody touched my shoulder and squeezed for just a second. Then it was gone.
I'm choosing to believe that it was a sign from the heavens that this will work today. It could have been a variety of people I've lost - either of my Grandpas, my Great-Grandpa, J's Grandma, or a variety of close friends of the family who have passed - or all of them cohesively. One will never know. What I do know, is that it definitely made me notice that God's hand is in this process and He will help us get through it no matter the outcome, but I'm choosing to believe the outcome will be favorable with a child or two.
Yet another amazing evening in my life....and now I'm going to try to go back to bed. Night...again!
I forgot to make the deviled eggs for Dr. H for transfer day...yes I know they've already had them but it just fits everything and they LOVED them...and I have half a mind to do it now at 4:17 am. But I won't. I'm going to try and go back to bed and just make them tomorrow at some point before our appointment at 1:30 pm today...less than 10 hours from now! I will get it done, but for now....goodnight again!