Saturday, May 1, 2010

Live life now...not when x happens.

Hello my dear Bleaders.  Sorry to have been out of the loop for a bit, but we've been on a little vacation and trying to stay away from the computer.  Anyway, something happened that I have to share.

On Sunday (4/25/10), we went to church with some friends who used to be our neighbors.  We have been to their church before and liked it immensely because it is relaxed and helps you understand the Bible rather than talking at you.  J enjoys it which is a big thing because he isn't the church going type.  So having not seen these friends for quite some time we determined that a full day with them wasn't enough and had to see them as soon as possible as we could.  We went to church and the discussion of the day was living your life now and not waiting until x happens (be it losing weight, finding a new job, buying a house, etc.).  It really hit home with me as we are in what I sometimes feel is limbo as we figure out this whole baby thing.  The sermon also discussed how to give yourself to God and trust that he knows what the right time line is for you.  During the closing prayer, my eyes started to tear and I had to suck in my breath to keep from blubbering aloud.  I also noticed that our friends were having some issues too as they are in transition and moving from CO to AL.  So I could understand why the words were hitting close to home.  It was a great sermon and experience and I enjoyed it thoroughly, even though the tears came.

The Daffodil Principle

Well, apparently for me, one message isn't enough.  My Mom had sent me the above PowerPoint.  While I had gotten it a whiles ago, I didn't review it until Sunday night after we had been to church.  It has basically the same message. 

So in closing, I feel in a really good place with our infertility issue.  I don't cry when someone tells me they are pregnant or at showers.  To tell you the truth, I don't even know what day I am on for my cycle today.  I kinda gave it up when we went on vacation.  I feel very relaxed knowing that we are kind of taking the year off and will just see where it leads us.  I am so very grateful for the women in my life that have helped me get here (be them other Infertiles or just awesome family and friends). And even the ones that have come out of the woodwork as I posted on FB last week that I am part of the Infertile club.  It's quite amazing to me actually that the people that maybe I didn't talk to much in HS or even College are some of my best supporters.  So THANK YOU for helping me get to this great place!

Love <3

4 comments:

  1. What a blessing that the church and powerpoint touched you on the same day! Definitely a sign! You sound good and happy and relaxed...I am so happy for you!

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  2. It took me a while to get to the "live your life now" phase as well, but it felt really good when I could finally accept each day for what it was--not what I wanted it to be. Hang in there!

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  3. Amen, Nikki! <><

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  4. I am offically, completely up to date :) I hope you had a wonderful vacation! I am so glad to hear that you are at such a peaceful place in your journey. I know that has not come easily for you. I miss you and I hope to get to T-town soon. If you make it up to see J's parent's before I make it down, I'd love to see you, even if only for coffee or a glass of wine.
    xoxo
    Jenni

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