Apparently I'm not the only one

Hello dearest Bleaders!  Welcome to the weekend.  The HOT weekend in AZ!  89 degrees!  YOWZA!

Today's post is a major stepping stone for us I guess.  But before we get there, let me explain the title.  And you'll understand better as we get on to the story of Friday.

I guess I posted some rather cryptic messages on Facebook Friday and it was only because I was seriously at a loss for words, and kind of still am.  But apparently I'm not the only one whose brain jumps to pregnancy when we don't know what is going on.  I posted twice Friday.  The first one said, "Well I didn't expect to do that today."  and the second said, "WOW, my mind is literally blown!"  I guess it freaked a couple people out because I got more than a few emails, texts, or messages asking if we were preggers!  Whoa folks...hop out of the rolling truck.  We are not pregnant!  I repeat, we are not pregnant.  That will not be released to the FB public for quite a little bit after we do realize we are, and sadly, probably not to the blog public until the appropriate people are told (i.e. Mom/Dad, BFFs, etc.).  Now on to why those posts came up...

J's family and I are planning a little vacation in June to go up North to not only get away from the heat, but to also spread Grandma Jo's ashes per her wishes.  So needed to get everything figured out with the realization that IVF takes a couple months to get rolling.  Got the sleeping arrangements figured out, but needed to understand the IVF schedule because I had a feeling I had missed something.  So I called Holly at Dr. H's office to confirm what I was thinking.  She knew about all the testing stuff with CFP, so between the doc's schedule and ours, we decided it was best to just schedule IVF for June and get on the boat.  So that's my big news...IVF is scheduled and I'm not quite sure how to handle that yet.

There's about 6 appointments.  One where they tell me how to inject myself, a couple where they check our stats, one to take eggs out, one to put embreyos back in, and one to check if we are preggers or not.  The one with how to take shots will be right before we go to the mountains, then a couple when we get back.  Need to take the day off for when they take the eggs out, and the "slated" date for embreyo transfer back in is Father's Day.  Hopefully very fitting!

After I got off the phone with Holly (47 minutes after we started) I received her crazy spreadsheet with a lot of information about IVF, sent her a couple questions back.  Finally finished my lunch about 2:30 pm and felt like I was in a fog.  I didn't know what to do next.  I wanted to blog, but I also didn't want people like my parents to hear we had scheduled IVF via the blog.  So, I took to FB, but again left things very vague and freaked people out.  (Sorry folks!)  I also kinda felt like I didn't want to tell anyone.  I knew I couldn't do that.  But sometimes this whole thing feels so out of hand and broken-expectation-filled that I just wanted to keep it all quiet until I could scream from the rooftops "We're Pregnant!" . 

I did email a few folks who I knew would understand, especially Kismet.  She had IVF in 2009 and now has a beautiful little girl. She blogs and documented a lot of it and after she told me to have a large glass of wine to calm my nerves (it really did help) she asked if I wanted her posts only about IVF.  OF COURSE I DO!  As you would expect, it's a huge document!  But I printed all of the 30 pages and in addition to all the other IVF books I have, this will probably be my Bible.

I called MIL to tell her that the dates were all set and then a long conversation ensued, as usual.  I ended up telling her that we signed up for IVF and to not freak out if I disappeared while we were on vacation and screams were heard from the bathroom!  

J came home and I didn't want to jump on him about the events of the day, but I was chomping at the bit to tell him.  I summed it up as short as I could and let on him chew on it for the evening.  Then, as we went to bed I asked him how he felt about it.  He said he was nervous, but also started questioning why it had to be this time period, namely because we have a wedding in Phoenix (2 hours away) on the Saturday before implantation date, and that could create some havoc.  I reminded him that I have no control over my cycle or the doc's schedule.  He then understood why we were on a honkey schedule.  I think he's nervous, as am I.  But we both know this may not work the first time, we can only hope.

Ms. T posted a great FB status today and I needed to remember it: "Hope: The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.  Hope."


So here we go...step one...BC starts early May.  Still have time to back out if big nasty comes back and bites me.  But if not, we're on our way.

One last happy event of the weekend...MBM's sister (my other belly mama) told me that she didn't mind being preggers however many times we needed!  Her belly is always available - just not immediately because she is preggers currently with their #2!  :) Man I love her and MBM so much for their generous offer of themselves!  I call them my sisters, but if we borrowed a belly, we would REALLY be related! :)  LOVE YOU GUYS MORE THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW!

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