Dun na...Dun na...Dun na, dun na.....

I have this great sense of impending doom right now.  (That was supposed to be the theme from Jaws as the title, but I'm a little pre-occupied right now and it doesn't look right.)

This may very well be my last post before CFP (aka "big nasty") scores are in.  Yes, you read that right.  At this very moment, the letter about my CFP score is some where in the postal system waiting for me.  However, it's not in today's mail.  Boo.

I know this...it was mailed on Wednesday (or so the report goes) from D.C.  So I've estimated that it could take 3-7 days to get here, not a window that makes me happy by any means.  Today is day 3 if the results were in fact mailed Wednesday morning, and not Wednesday night.  (Do you see how much thought has been put into this?)  However, if the letter isn't in tomorrow's mail, then it really doesn't matter because I can check the score online on Monday.  It really seems backwards to me.  Wouldn't normal people post the score online, THEN send the letter?  Immediate relief I guess....after a huge waiting period.  I guess I have just a few more days to stress over the outcome.  I really hope I get it tomorrow because then I have the weekend to deal with the outcome, whereas if I get it Monday morning, I won't have time to cry or rejoice really, as I'll be at work and need to get busy.  However, if I'm at work, Ms. Belly and my Mom will be there to hold me as I cry, if I cry.

So what does all this mean?

If I fail, will I not have a job next week?  No.  This was pointed out to me by one of our consultants when I told him I was really nervous about the outcome.  So will it suck if I fail?  Yes.  Will I cry?  Probably.  But will my career be in jeopardy?  No.  Will I die?  No.  Will my life change for the next few months?  Yes.  But we'll deal.  (Look at how well I am preparing myself for this score!)

If I pass, what will happen?  C-E-L-E-B-R-A-T-E!  I promise to use every means of communication to spread the word!  I am not anticipating this though.

I have anticipated and prepped myself for opening the envelope and how to react.  And given any day, I may have notions that I passed (depending how many people say "I know you did fine" and how I feel in general) and I probably have notions that I didn't pass.  But every time I think about getting the letter, or what the score might be, my stomach definitely drops to my toes and I get butterflies and worried.

I just don't know what the future holds.  Prayers people is all I can ask for ... prayers.