I know I have talked before about how blessed I am, but I mainly talk about the women in my life. My Mom(s), my girl friends, etc. And of course my husband. But I leave out the men and that isn't to mean that I don't have a bunch of well-meaning and very caring men in my life.
First, there is my hubby. J is amazing most days, and a regular man the rest of them. But we always manage to get through our disagreements and come back to the loving place that our relationship is in. The fact that he is actually present at all of these doctor visits and wanting to do this is a huge thing to me. This is a man that used to not be able to say "tampon" and my way of telling him AF was visiting was to say, "Well, I'm not pregnant" in years past. Not anymore, he has come a long way and when I see him with kids of our friends, I can't wait to see him with ours. I trust him to do what is right and he always does. He has the best heart. He always thanks me for whatever I am doing even though I consider them wifely duties (i.e. paying bills, doing laundry, cooking, etc.) and makes me feel appreciated. He always tells me I am beautiful and argues with me when I call myself ugly or fat, especially these last couple days with the stupid lip thing. I may bitch and moan at times about the silly things he does, but in reality it is nothing crazy like what has been in the media lately. So I am very blessed that this wonderful man is my husband.
Then, there is my Daddy. Years ago, my Mom used to give me a hard time about being in my 20's and still calling my Father my "Daddy." Then, she went to church on Father's Day one year and the sermon was about how children who call their fathers Daddy have a different relationship, mostly a better relationship with their fathers. She hasn't said anything since. ;) Anyway, my father is amazing. He has the biggest heart and wants to do whatever he can to help however he can. He and I don't talk about infertility stuff a whole lot, but every so often it pops up. He even offered to take me to my HSG in 2008 when J couldn't. That was a little much for me, especially being pretty new to this whole process, but it was beyond sweet. I am an only child and there are times in my life where I have been a Daddy's girl. However, now I have a great relationship with both of my parents. And in the Spring and Summer months, my Daddy and I go to the pool on Sundays with a coach and swim for about 90 mins, then head to breakfast and catch up. I enjoy these days immensely, and am sad when Winter comes and it is too cold for me to get in the pool. (What can I say, I am a wuss! When the air temp is colder than the pool - figure 80 in the pool and 40 in the air - I'm out!) So I am blessed to be able to call this great man my Daddy. My true Daddy. I also love watching him play with my friend's kids and the smile that crosses his face...makes me think of the smile my Grandfathers had when they saw me. I will be beyond elated when I can tell my Daddy that he will be a Granddaddy.
Now, if you don't know me really well you don't quite understand what I mean with the statement about "my true Daddy" so let me explain. In High School, I got to know some of my best friends' parents very well because I was always at her house, so instead of calling her parents Mr. and Mrs. or by their first names, I just started saying Mama and Dad. Well, here we are 15 years later and I still do it. Only it isn't only that one friend, it is now 3 families that I do this with. And I can even call them and say, "Hi Dad or Mom" and they know it is their "other" child. My Mom always said, my parents chose to have one child and I chose to have many parents. But these parents are a big part of my life and I love them all so. Mom and Dad Ryan and Mama and Dad Ledford - Thanks for all your support!
Then, there is my best guy friend...or my brother as I call him. He is someone I have known since high school and he actually was my best friend's boyfriend for a long time. They eventually broke up and she and I "broke up" but he and I stayed close. I appreciate him very much even though I don't get to see him all that much. But he makes the effort whenever he is in town. And he calls when I send him messages of joy, like when I passed my CFP4 test. Many people texted, but he called. He is basically like the brother I never had. And I appreciate him very much....and his parents too, who I love to see when he is in town as well.
Now, for some unexpected males in my life that I am blessed to have.
First off, Dr. H. I couldn't have asked for a better RE. Not only is he genuine, but he is patient, thorough, and positive. He never rushes me. If you haven't noticed, I tend to have a lot of questions and he lets me ask them and answers fully. He doesn't push me and make me feel like this won't happen for us, like if we don't do it right this second, it won't work. I have heard about doctors like that. He explains what he is seeing in the ultrasound to J, who doesn't do the reading like I do. And he smiles and knows our names and our situation. I have heard of another RE in Tucson who is the polar opposite and while our friends who went to him got pregnant right away, the bed-side manner was less than desirable. Now, I don't believe that he has a magical wand that Dr. H doesn't so I won't even consider going to see him. Especially because my OB (who was recommended to me by our future pediatrician and I love) recommended him highly and she has been my OB for a number of years and knows my style. This is an extremely hard process and to have a doc who rushed or didn't answer questions would make it so much worse. Dr. H calls me back in a timely manner when I call him, and his staff isn't too bad either. They have their moments, but for the most part, they are spot on! Our appointment on Thursday, made me calm down immensely (even with the thought that our next step with him is the uber-expensive one) because of his attitude and his rationale. Very lucky patient here.
And lastly, as he showed yesterday morning, I am blessed to have a great personal trainer. (I apologize in advance if this sounds like an ad for the gym - Peformance Fitness - but I really love it!) I have always wanted to have a trainer to help me get and stay in shape, but never could afford it. Well, a couple years back, I was invited to a seminar about what exercises swimmers should do when they aren't in the water that would help them and it was put on by the man who is now my trainer - Andrew.
Andrew runs a very different kind of gym but it meets my needs perfectly. First, it is a upscale and smaller than the mega gyms out there where they don't know you from the next busty blond. I don't even have a gym card, they just know me. Then, there are no contracts - which rocks! That has always been something I hated, contracts at gyms. And on top of that, the monthly fee includes one session of personal training a month. That was the kicker to me. I don't need a trainer 3 days a week telling me what to do, I just need someone who I check in with every month to tell me what to fix or change up my workout or pull me out of my funk or give me some eating advice. And as always, Andrew does that. Oh, and because it is a small gym, he and all the other trainers will fix something if I am doing it wrong without hesitation...not like other places where the trainers just laugh at you! So I always joke that I don't have one trainer, I have 12! What a deal! Plus, it has a very nice family atmosphere and the members get to know each other which is great.
Usually what happens is that I see Andrew once a month and he updates my workout or fixes the exercises I am doing wrong or need to add more weight to. I was supposed to see him last Friday, but I bailed based on the events of last week. So, I had rescheduled to this week and it was truly a challenge for me to get out of bed yesterday. I just want this thing on my lip to go away, and it won't as fast as I want it to. But I ambled out of bed and headed for the gym. Did some cardio when I got there and then it was time for the training, and I wasn't really into it as Andrew walked towards me.
We started off as we normally do, with him reviewing my notebook where I keep track of the exercises he prescribes, my activities of the past month and an overview of how I am feeling, and then we started discussing what I had emailed him about a few weeks ago - eating. We spent the entire hour session talking, which is what I needed. Someone to remind me how to reach my fitness goals by eating better foods - he doesn't like that I eat Lean Cuisines, Weight Watcher meals, etc because of the preservatives. But he doesn't tell me this in a mean way at all, simply the facts and why there are better things out there. He is really smart! And he knows all about our situation, partly because I clue him in every now and again, and partly because his lovely wife reads my blog (thanks Bre!). So he knows the struggle I had last week without me telling him. He also reminds me a lot of my husband, who I obviously love a lot. And he told me this morning that I remind him of his wife (which is a huge compliment because besides being gorgeous, she is super sweet, thoughtful and smart!) with my drive and intensity. Anyway, I could blather on about what a great guy he is, but the point I want to make is that he knew what I needed today and it wasn't a workout. It was a talk and some motivation and just an ear and some laughs. And a hug...you guys know I love hugs! These kind of men are hard to find. So I am very lucky to have him as my trainer and my friend. I didn't expect that when I signed up for the gym, but I lucked out. And one of these days, his wife and I are due for drinks and they are both due at the house for dinner, just have to figure out schedules. Thanks Andrew and Bre...I appreciate your loving thoughts!
And on that note, I am heading off for the day. Have a great weekend Bleaders and please look around and remember who blesses your life. It is a good perspective to have.