Oy!

That's all I got - OY! 

It's that time of the month dear Bleaders...yup, THAT time.  I was feeling out of sorts on Tuesday and hopefully that a Ms. Bitch wouldn't show this month, but wait....no, she did!  Bright and early this morning like a tornado ripping through my uterus.  I think I have been kind of blase about peeing on a stick lately, but I kind of anticipated doing it this morning.  Something felt different.  Could it be that I was nauseous on Tuesday and a couple other days this month?  Who knows.  But alas, AF reared her ugly head this morning and I considered staying in bed for the day.  It was probably the worst I have felt in months.

I did manage to crawl from the bed to the shower, and get ready for work.  But once there, I didn't know how I would make it through the afternoon.  I was trying to decipher what work I could do from my bed at home.  I think I even threw up in my mouth a little bit today - sorry, that's gross, but that is how bad it was today.  I went to lunch and that made me feel a lot better, also getting away a bit and not concentrating on the chainsaw hacking at my stomach helped.  Then I managed to get a lot of work done this afternoon.

I think I am slowly getting back to the point of being ready to "try" as we have been on hiatus for quite some time now.  Part of it is probably that my Mom is being inducted to my company's Hall of Fame in August and one of my dreams was to have the president of the company tell her our good news...well, that isn't gonna happen now because there is no way I'll be pregnant by the ceremony.  Cross that one off the list of fun ways to tell the family!  For whatever reason, I have been sadder this month than the last few about this particular issue.  I don't know that I have reason, except that maybe July 2010 marks our 3 year of trying mark and that isn't a goal I hoped to ever get to.

I do have some things to be very appreciative for though...the Universe was watching out for me in some respect.  Yesterday, I received a belated "thank you" card from my friend who had her baby last month and I had made a blanket for (the one described in this post).  It was the sweetest message and it was just the right day to receive it.  I keep all the cards that people send me when I make them a blanket.  It made me happy.  Thanks dearest Anna! 

I ditched the gym on Monday and today on account of being so tired and then this morning in so much pain, that my trainer emailed me to see if I was okay.  He's so sweet to worry and I emailed him back to say it wasn't the workout he gave me, just that my body didn't like me very much right now.  Also directed him to Monday's blog about the event at the river.  Then he understood a bit more and was understanding and sympathetic as always.  Couldn't ask for a better trainer!

Then today, not only did I get to have lunch with one of my dearest friends, her sister, her mother and my friend's MIL, but my friend reiterated that her belly was still available if we needed it.  In addition to her sister's...although, I don't quite know if her sister knows she offered it to me! But knowing this family, she probably would...they are just that awesome.  And currently I call them my sisters.  So if we got to this point, they truly would be.  We're not there yet, but I cannot express what an awesome gift that is to have two people that I love so dearly offer to give me not only a portion of their body, but a portion of their lives so we could have a child.  I really hope I don't need to take them up on it and we can get this done ourselves, but if we need to at least I don't need to find a belly!  Thanks my lovely Ledford sisters!

And on that note, I am heading to bed for some more pain killers to top off the ice cream I had after dinner, a little reading, and then a lot of sleep before I attempt boot camp tomorrow.  Night my dears!