Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Why do I want to be a Mommy?

I have had this question more than I can remember and usually I just brush it off with, "I have always wanted to be a Mommy." But lately, I have been thinking about it more and trying to come up with definitive answers. Plus some of the reasons I have have surprised people I think. They think of them as reasons not to have kids, and I think it is the best reason.

I don't know how this will sound so I am just gonna say it. Some people hate the thought of another person relying on them SO much, as a child does, but I think it sounds wonderful. I love many things that are expected of me. I went to a birthday party in another city for one of my BFFs in August and her husband looked at me and said, "as soon as we sent out the invite, we knew you would be here hell or high water!" I think that is the greatest complement someone could give me. It tells me that I am reliable, I love them, and they can count on me! So what is greater than a child NEEDING me for everything?! In my eyes, nothing. (Now ask me again after he/she has been born and I may retract that statement, but for right now, it is the greatest thing to me.) I think this also makes me feel needed. And in a world where people can fall by the wayside, being needed is a big deal! I had one job where I never got any recognition and I was scared for my job and it felt awful. Turns out I got laid off...hmm, connection?

I know my husband needs me, and were I to disappear somethings would be forgotten or missed, but he would make it because he is a smart man and would figure them out. A child would not be as resilient, depending on age of course. But even a teenager, needs their parents. I like being needed and expectations. Why did I do so well in school? Because everyone expected me to and I expected to! Why have I succeeded in life and love? Because it was expected and I expected to! Why are we not pregnant yet? I don't have an answer for that one. I expected that as soon as we decided it was time, we would be expecting. That one perplexes me.

Why else do I want to be a Mommy? Hmmm...some of our friends think we have it so great without kids. We don't have to worry about babysitters and diapers and tantrums. But when you want something badly (be it a promotion, a lover or a baby) the longer you go without it, the more you want it! Sometimes I look at our life and realize it is kinda boring (don't get me wrong, there are times when it isn't). Don't hate me because I am going to compare having a puppy to a kid, it's all I have to go on. When we got our puppies, and we have 2, and they learned to climb the stairs or pee where they should, it was exciting! We had taught this creature something good! So I can only expect that passing along greater knowledge to a child will be even better. Especially when they begin to say Mommy and Daddy. Passing on the things I have learned throughout my life and hopefully making the world a greater place, is a big deal!

I look at the kids of my friends and I see how they are compassionate, loving, polite and happy, and it makes me happy. Their actions also reflect on their parents and the very nature of their parents. And it shows me that my friends are great people - if they weren't, I wouldn't love them like I do! I admit I do have a favorite child of my friend's kids, probably because she was the first and whenever I see her she runs at me full force and hugs me til I can't breathe! What is better than that? Very few things come to mind. So having that in my own household, instead of once a month when I see my friend's child, can only be better. To be loved unconditionally!

So my question comes to you dear readers...why do (or did you before you had kids) want to become a parent? And, if you are already a parent, what are you grateful for now? Can't wait to see your answers folks! Ta ta for now!

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