Thursday, June 7, 2012

Communication is key

So much for blogging more because its on my phone folks....turns out that I'm still busier than I want to believe.

So here we are in the middle of the night, as I breastfeed, I'm trying to get the thoughts down that have been rumbling around my head for a while with as few spelling errors as possible. Bear with me.

If you know me personally, and quite possibly from reading the blog for any period of time, you may have surmised that 1) I like to get things done and 2) I don't often ask for help. I was the student that during group projects didn't trust my grade in anyone else's hands so many times I did the brunt of the work to ensure I got wht I wanted. Yup, even in college, people LOVED being my partner. I just did it to get it done, even if I was overloaded.

Well, over the last few weeks (let's say 8 - how old Reese is), I have been overloaded and seemingly struggling to tell J. He's so busy and tired after work and taking care of the yard, that I just couldn't say anything. But things were falling between the cracks and I was having more and more conversations in my head between us.

I've also been struggling with the thought  of going back to work in just under 2 weeks and trying to start working out again. And how that schedule will work out. I've gotten input from a few people and finally brought it up to J to discuss.

At first, he just said, "whatever you want to do, I'll support you." And after a few upsetting minutes where I kept saying, I want your input, not just your support." I finally gave him an example of a schedule I knew he'd hate and he perked up and said he didn't like that! The discussion got a little heated from there, but it just as quickly cooled down when I admitted that I needed help with things around the house, because they just weren't getting done. He blew me away saying "You have taken on huge responsibilities with Reese. She is your responsibility right now because you are breastfeeding her. I can help, but many times my hands are tied. I'll take care of everything the house, etc. You just worry about Reese." Now, let me say as well that he does a lot with Reese, but 75% of the time, she wants to eat so unless it is the evening when we give her formula, he can't feed her. I was so happy to hear that he wasn't upset with me because the house wasn't it's usual spotless-ness. We also agreed to have a discussion on Friday's about what we hoped to achieve on the weekend so we could each plan accordingly and help each other out as needed. Communication is key and I need to remember that, especially with J. And that he isn't a mind reader.

Reese had another day at daycare...well, half day. Much less upsetting for me because the first ont went so well and I've been talking to LP a lot, so my trust of her is building.

And lastly, I am a genius. Yup. I am. I have been struggling with how to carry everything baby and Nikus, and somewhat failing. How do you carry a baby, diaper bag, water bottle, and purse and not drop or forget something? I purchased a second diaper bag that had a little "Mommy pouch" that was supposed to fix everything. It didn't. The pouch wasn't quite big enough. And at some point there will be a lot of transferring of items because the baby will go one way and I'll go another. So how did I remedy the 1) multiple straps on my shoulder - which I hate and 2) the transferring of items from bag and potentially leaving something in the wrong place?

Enter the "D" ring. What is a "D" ring you ask? It's the name of those little clips that everyone has on their keyrings these days. I bought 6 "D" rings at Walgreens today - six because they came in a pack of three which were all different sizes and I needed 2 of the same size. Cost was $2.50. Came home and clipped the strap rings of my purse to the strap rings of the diaper bag. I have one strap on my shoulder, but 2 separate bags. When I don't have Reese with me, I simply unclasp the rings and have my purse, with my stuff, and nothing gets forgotten in the diaper bag. What did I tell you? Genius. And cheap. The alternative was purchasing another, larger, diaper bag (at least $50) but that only solved one problem. This way solved both. See below photo.

Ha. I rock.


  1. First, good for you for blogging about such a relevant and yet sensitive topic. I actually have read a book on this (the post baby conversation). Although I'm not sure how much help I'm going to get from hubby at least I have mom for a while and my maid twice a week which really helps. The real challenge will be going back to work.. Good luck to you!
    Totally dig the way you have worked out your handbag / baby bag. I still have to figure those things out! But I know a stroller is going to be good to dump things in as well.

  2. Yay on the purse fix... I am completely sure I will need to figure that out at some point. I am slowly realizing that lots of things have changed since my last baby... who's 9!


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