Hi folks, have a little time before bed tonight and J wants to watch football, so I'm outta the living room. I need to catch up on some shows, so here goes. First Guiliana & Bill from LAST week (it's on again soon), then Rules of Engagement from this week. Totally different scenarios.
Guiliana & Bill was a hard one last week. It was the episode after the realization that they had lost their baby of 8 weeks. I've never been in that situation, so I can only imagine how that feels and it makes me shudder. I know it makes you stronger, yada yada. But it just seems like it would feel like the world is crashing down around you. Guiliana kind of moped around for a while (and I can't blame her, I probably would have hid under the bed with a bottle of rum) while it looked like Bill was ready to get back on the horse. She needed to deal, and he was ready to start over again and NOW. Bill pushed her on if she wanted to do it again right away, and she kind of put him off.
He just wasn't getting what she felt like, and how can he? He's a man. It's not his body that all this is taking place in. She talked about how she was feeling and what was going on inside her head. She opened up to one of her girlfriends who suggested she go see a therapist. (Note: Again I say, I have never been in her shoes here.) Everything she said to that therapist I have thought, and possibly said to someone. I have blamed myself. I have felt like a failure as a woman and a wife. I have felt like I am letting my husband down. On the one hand, it was nice to hear that other people feel that way. But on the other hand, I hated to hear that someone felt as awful as I have in the past because it is not a happy place to be. It is the depths of despair. I was right there with her in spirit. The therapist reminded her that she had to explain to Bill how she was feeling. Letting the feelings out helps. And Guiliana's RE reminded her that, sadly, miscarriage is very common. It's the body's way of dealing with a baby who isn't ready to be. Just saying that feels wrong, but that is what their doc said and I have heard mine say that before too.
Guiliana finally did discuss the situation with Bill. He took a step back and listened to her. The way he explained his feelings were that he knew they were on a timetable because of their ages and as a child he was always taught to "get back on the horse right away" after something didn't pan out. So he was simply applying that theory. I understand that theory, but here, sorry to say, it doesn't apply. When your body has been man-handled like IVF seems, a little break (physically and emotionally) is sometimes what it requires. He understood in the end, and told her he would back her no matter what. That is what needed to happen. I'm very interested to see what happens on the next show.
Okay, now for happy news. On Rules of Engagement, a sitcom (not reality TV), Audrey and Jeff have dealt with infertility over the course of the past few seasons. They've done fertility tests, shots, and now have progressed to searching for a surrogate. At the end of last season, they had one (Jamie Pressly) and then their buddy (Russell, played by David Spade) on the show "inadvertently" slept with her, so she was "tainted." This show doesn't talk about it a lot, and it's only 30 minutes and a comedy sitcom at that, so its an interesting perspective on the subject. Anyway, in this weeks' episode they are again interviewing possible surrogates since they can't get pregnant on their own. They interview a couple and Jeff, possibly not inadvertently says something to upsets each one of them so they saunter off (one was a Yankees fan, and Jeff is a Mets fan so drama ensued there, while another was overweight and when she got up to leave he said, "guess we'll have to alter our timetable a bit until you have this one"). At these points, Audrey, his wife is seething! I told J I would have decked him repeatedly had he uttered those words!
Finally, at the end, Jeff and Audrey are at Jeff's softball dinner and Jeff is desperately trying to win MVP of the season. It's between him and Brenda, the "lesbian on the team", who also offers great banter with Jeff (played by Sara Rue - who I love). Audrey asks him to pay attention because one of the surrogates is supposed to call them that evening, and in any event, he misses all six calls because he's more focused on winning MVP of his intramural softball team. Again, she's fuming. Audrey vents to Brenda that he is dragging his feet and driving her mad, and Brenda says she doesn't understand why it's taking so long. Finally, the three are together and the subject comes up again and it comes out that Jeff is digging in his heels because the thought of a stranger carrying their child is scary to him. I have to admit that I saw this one coming, but ... Brenda offers to be their surrogate because she knows them and they know her. After a split second of discussion, Jeff and Audrey agree and there's lots of hugging happening. It's a great step for the show, and I feel the media in general!
I'm kind of afraid of when the season will end because I assume that this won't progress very quickly, and I'd love to at least see Brenda get pregnant by the end of the season, and not leave us on a cliff-hanger, but well, they like to do that kind of stuff. I'm really just glad that someone is broaching this subject...it's way past due!
I've talked before about one of my BFFs, and her sister, who have both offered me their bellies, should we need them. I hope we never have to take them up on it (only because my dream is to be pregnant myself), but having that in my back pocket, feels really good. One less hurdle to jump...if all the tests come out right, if we get to that step. I'll be very excited to see how this goes and the few things that might be broached with this subject along the way.
Now that I have exhausted my TV mind, I'm gonna go read for a bit and then sleep...allergies are getting to me bad! Night folks! (9 days and counting to CFP - YIKES!)