Friday, September 24, 2010

Five Rules for Friday

To say this week has been trying would be an understatement I believe.  It's been incredibly trying personally and professionally.  I won't go into specifics (have already discussed the personal side of things here and here), but here are 5 things that I learned or was reminded of this week that I would like to pass along as knowledge.  I'm very hopeful you already know them and abide by them, but it was brought to my attention this week that not all people do.  So here's a reminder or lesson:

1.  Don't burn bridges - ever.  You never know when the bridge you are burning will be needed again.  There's many ways to get to the same end point, so even if a situation is killing you, killing the situation with kindness is a far better thing to do.  If you are honest, you may get just what you want and still be respected for it.  If you burn the bridge, not only with they always remember you for the fire, but they'll probably tell a lot of people about it too and you might get a bill for someone else putting it out.

When I was a waitress in college, we were always told, "do whatever it takes to make it better, even if you don't think it is that bad.  If a person leaves angry, they will tell EVERYONE, if they leave happy, they may not tell anyone how great their experience was, but they'll come back."

2.  Read all the rules, in fact, memorize them.  If you break one, especially while you are burning the bridge, you may end up shooting yourself in the foot and doing the EXACT OPPOSITE of what you actually wanted to do.

The only example of this I can come up with happened this week and is thereby too fresh to discuss.  Just know this...discussion of an issue is better than yelling and screaming to get your way, only to realize you were the one who was wrong.

3.  Be honest, professional and respectful always.  This goes back to number one.  Do whatever you can to be all three and even a bad situation doesn't end up that bad.  You can only control your actions, so do that.  Control yourself, and let others get out of control.  If you are always honest, respectful and professional, you should almost always be okay.

I had a job when we lived in Colorado that I had begun to be unhappy with.  It ended up the week before I got married in Arizona, that I had an opportunity to leave that job because I had another company wanting to hire me and I had been wanting to work for them for a while.  I walked in the last day before I was leaving for a week and a half and gave them my resignation, knowing they already had a temp set up for when I was gone.  Over the previous 2 days when I knew I might be resigning, I had started to compile a list of all my passwords, everything I did that no one really thought about and projects I was in the middle of.  After handing in my resignation, my boss told me that would be my last day since it didn't make sense for me to come back after being gone for a week and a half to finish my job for 3 days(regardless that I really didn't want to!).  She was livid that I was leaving, but when I handed her a 3 page, typed synopsis of everything she had asked me for 30 seconds before, she totally lightened and was appreciative.  I may have left them in the lurch, but at least they weren't cursing me when I left so abruptly on my terms and respectfully.

4.  Do what you say you are going to do.  This rule could go along with number 2.  Don't be that person that did that thing.  Finish what you start and do what you say you are going to well.  Then no one can blame you for not performing what you said you would.

Again, a little too fresh to expand upon.  So do what you set out to do, and you'll be golden!  And don't blame others for when you don't finish...when you point at someone else, 3 fingers still point back at you.

5.  Get over the entitlement factor.  I think this is possibly the most important rule...Don't think you are entitled.  Sorry, no one is entitled.  I am not entitled to be the President of the United States. I am not entitled to a million dollars.  I am not entitled to be a wife.  I am not even entitled to be a parent.  Work hard and show that you deserve what you want...raise, good marriage, child, promotion, breath.  Just because you are alive doesn't mean you are entitled to what you want.  Great things are earned, not given.  I don't know where people get this entitlement factor.  I do not recall ever having that.  I was raised to work hard and earn respect, job, whatever.

I work for my mother.  I can understand that many people think that I got that job because I couldn't do anything else.  You could not be more wrong.  Especially in the industry I am in and the family I was raised with, I have earned everything I have done.  I have passed all the appropriate federally mandated tests of my own doing.  I have worked hard to achieve what I have.  Even as a child I had to earn my keep.  I was never entitled.  The generation that believes they are entitled needs a good smack, because no one is entitled.  You must work hard and earn it.  Get over yourselves.  You reap what you sow, earn it.

WOW, that last one came out a little harsh.  Sorry about that - its been that kinda week.  Bottom line, be a good person, be respectful, and good things will come to you. 

I know I bitch and moan sometimes about having not gotten pregnant yet, but I know there is a reason for that.  I don't know what it is and sometimes I get mad about that, but there is a reason for this.  God is waiting for something.  It could be a part of my body to heal.  It could be for our savings to be higher.  It could be for CFP to be over.  It could be for my stress level to be less.  It could be that there is a baby waiting to be born from someone else that needs us as its parents.  Or it could be something entirely different that I have no idea about and will never know.  Whatever it is, all we can try to do is be good people, work hard and be happy.  So that's what we do.  And most days, we achieve it.  And some days we even learn more about each other and appreciate each other for it.  I have faith that we will get to be parents one way or another, in God's time.  But until then, we just gotta make it through today.

Happy Weekend!


  1. Hey Nikus
    Sounds like you are having a tough time. But thanks for your optimistic and philosophical way of looking at it. You are an inspiration. Oh well you are not alone. hugs. In being infertile and going through interesting job situations. I have been through them too. Am still in shock sometimes that I haven't been fired yet and have been at this job a whole six and a half years! The same length of time I have been married...

  2. I absolutely hate when people act entitled... it's one of my biggest pet peeves!


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