Monday, April 26, 2010

I am an Infertile.

Hi, my name is Niki, and I'm an Infertile (meaning that my husband and I have been trying to conceive for over 12 months (almost 3 years to be exact)).
This week is National Infertility Awareness Week, and I want you to
know someone you know and care about has been impacted by infertility.
Please feel free to ask questions about my condition, or talk to me
if you are struggling with fertility challenges yourself. You can
also go to to learn more. I do also blog about our adventures at the address below. Thanks for your support!

I posted this as my status this morning on Facebook (sorry folks, I don't Tweet).  I wasn't going to and then my beloved Kate did, and after some serious thought (I was thinking about all the people who are my friends on FB) I decided that it wasn't something to hide anymore.  Now while I don't think infertility should be celebrated, I also believe that it isn't something that needs to be kept in hiding.  So for those of you that clicked the link for the first time to see what this is all about, I am going to attempt a quick(!) synopsis of our journey.

In July 2007, AF (see the right side for definitions of the abbreviations) was a couple days late.  Having still been on birth control, I was a little nervous.  I took a Clearblue Easy Digital Pregnancy test having told J (my husband) what was happening.  The test immediately showed "Pregnant".  I darted out of the bathroom and was immediately having tears of joy as I gave him the test.  We had a celebratory hug and when I looked down again, the test was blank.  I reread the directions and it said that it should have showed for at least 24 hours until the battery died.  So a little concerned that something was up, but I started to get ready for my day of working at home.  Called one of my best friends (who at the time had only one child, now she has 2) and told her of my worry with the test.  She came by the house at lunch bringing me another pregnancy test that wasn't digital and it turned up negative.  My heart sank.  But AF never showed so I kept taking tests and at one point even went to Planned Parenthood for a blood test.  That came back negative too.  But because all this was going on, I had stopped BC.  We were officially "trying."

I immediately started to collect pregnancy books and read through the first chapter or so.  A couple months later (near Thanksgiving in fact), I was having SERIOUS pain in my much that we considered not visiting J's parents 2 hours away and going to the hospital.  But it subsided a bit for the weekend and when it returned on Monday, I called my doc.  They recommended an ultrasound.  So that was scheduled and it was discovered that I had some cysts (probably from the stoppage of BC).  The only way to cure that, go back to BC.  As that defeated our other purpose, I dealt.  

We tried and tried.  I bought OPKs of all brands at various times to figure out when I ovulated.  I took my BBT consistently every morning for almost a year.  I bought more pregnancy books, not broaching the infertility spectrum yet.  But we tried and tried more and more.  I bought lots of lingerie...trying to make it more interesting.  Finally, at my normal OB/GYN appointment, I mentioned it to my OB and she prescribed a slew of blood tests for me, an SA test for J and Clomid.  All the blood tests and J's test came back fine, so the Clomid was our next step.  

Clomid basically makes you more eggs and makes you crazy!  I had hot flashes, sleepless nights and crazy feelings.  At one point, I actually had to show J where it said in an infertility book (yes, I had bought some by this time) that it said "Clomid can make you crazy!"  But after 6 months and still no pregnancy, you can't take Clomid anymore because it does more harm than good at that point.  That was when my OB said that we should meet Dr. H, our current reproductive endocronologist, (October 2008) and have an HSG (sorry, not gonna spell that one).  HSG is a test where they put dye in your uterus to make sure your fallopian tubes are open.  Dr. H did the HSG and then we were scheduled to see Dr. H at his office a few weeks later.  HSG was fine and then the drama of October 2008 hit...the stock market crashed and everyone's job was in jeopardy.  Knowing that things could go insane, we backed down from Dr. H's appointment until things calmed down and the holidays were past.  Also at this time, I had started spotting a day or two before my period without cramps, which was way new.

March 2009, we rescheduled our appt with Dr. H.  It went well.  He did another ultrasound, discussed our previous blood work, discussed J's results, and discussed our options.  All were positive.  We were young (I was 29 and J was 31), we were healthy, we were fine.  Diagnosis - keep trying and maybe lose a little weight, eat a little better, exercise a little more and for the abdomen pain, add some Acu.  Also, prescribed Progesterone to hopefully stop the spotting.  And call him in 4-6 months with progress report and next steps.

I'm gonna have to stop there for now folks, but I promise I will finish later.  Am due for lunch with some old friends!  

To Be Continued.... 


  1. Way to go lady! I am so proud of you. You are one amazing chica, and I'm honored to call you my friend.

  2. Niki, thanks for posting this! I really think you are an amazingly strong and positive individual, and I admire you so much. I am rooting for you, dear!


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