No, nothing extraordinarily bad has happened, I'm just kinda down today.
AF showed up late yesterday afternoon and laid me out - literally. On the couch, fetal position, ready to puke or die, whatever would help the pain go away. I drugged up a bit for our dinner with friends, but as soon as we were back, so was the pain.
I woke up this morning determined to go swim and then see Busted Kate for brunch. Once I hit the pool, I figured out that was not where I needed to be. I needed to be in bed. But I wasn't about to get out of the pool once I had driven down there and already gotten wet. So I just adjusted my workout so it wasn't so hard and took a lot of breaks. But still wasn't feeling good. Finally decided that brunch was the last thing I needed, because I was getting cranky in the pool at really insignificant things. I wasn't going to be very good company at breakfast. So I texted my dear Busted Kate and canceled. I didn't want to, but I also didn't want to make her angry at me because I was feeling bitchy either. I opted for the lesser of two evils.
I had offered to help with her baby shower and was really excited about doing it. There was a team of us and I couldn't wait to offer this wonderful woman a shower that she deserved. But when it came down to picking the date, the only date that worked for most was the one Saturday I had no choice but to be in Phoenix for my CFP cram course. It broke my heart. So after being in the pool and feeling like crap, Kate and I had this discussion over text and it broke me. I just wanted to be there so bad and there was nothing I could do to fix it. The tears came and I can't quite tell you why. I don't know if there is just too much going on right now. I don't know if the CFP just scares the bejebus out of me. I don't know if it is that I feel like I let her down. I don't know. I don't know if it is AF and the bitchiness and emotional basketcase that she can make me. I just don't.
Sorry, this is a little raw but I've been holding these tears in and I needed them out so I can get over whatever ails me right now. Although, not sure what that is...exactly.
Sorry for your downer of a day. I hope things get better from here on out for you. Hope you feel better!
ReplyDeleteGirl, you crazy! You're not letting me down. I've said it before, I was completely blown away you wanted to help... touched to the bottom of my heart. I know every shower I was asked to attend, let alone host, was so difficult for me. The fact that you volunteered, and then was upset you couldn't make it... well that really speaks to what type of amazing, sincere, and selfless friend you are, and I'm grateful for you all the time.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm so sorry it didn't work out date-wise. There were so many people saying they couldn't make many of the dates and it was getting all switched around, and finally I just had to say "This is the one that works for me!" and let the chips fall where they may. I'm sorry, I'm a selfish A-Hole :-/
I hope you can come to my shower the following weekend (truly, this is an embarrassment of riches, having so many showers its difficult to schedule dates), I'd love to have a friend there.
And I'm so sorry about your rough day yesterday. I was sad not to see you and that you weren't feeling well, but it was great talking to you on the phone for even a short while. Raincheck for sometime soon?
Yes RAINCHECK! Hopefully in September before CFP takes over my life completely!
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