No, nothing extraordinarily bad has happened, I'm just kinda down today.
AF showed up late yesterday afternoon and laid me out - literally. On the couch, fetal position, ready to puke or die, whatever would help the pain go away. I drugged up a bit for our dinner with friends, but as soon as we were back, so was the pain.
I woke up this morning determined to go swim and then see Busted Kate for brunch. Once I hit the pool, I figured out that was not where I needed to be. I needed to be in bed. But I wasn't about to get out of the pool once I had driven down there and already gotten wet. So I just adjusted my workout so it wasn't so hard and took a lot of breaks. But still wasn't feeling good. Finally decided that brunch was the last thing I needed, because I was getting cranky in the pool at really insignificant things. I wasn't going to be very good company at breakfast. So I texted my dear Busted Kate and canceled. I didn't want to, but I also didn't want to make her angry at me because I was feeling bitchy either. I opted for the lesser of two evils.
I had offered to help with her baby shower and was really excited about doing it. There was a team of us and I couldn't wait to offer this wonderful woman a shower that she deserved. But when it came down to picking the date, the only date that worked for most was the one Saturday I had no choice but to be in Phoenix for my CFP cram course. It broke my heart. So after being in the pool and feeling like crap, Kate and I had this discussion over text and it broke me. I just wanted to be there so bad and there was nothing I could do to fix it. The tears came and I can't quite tell you why. I don't know if there is just too much going on right now. I don't know if the CFP just scares the bejebus out of me. I don't know if it is that I feel like I let her down. I don't know. I don't know if it is AF and the bitchiness and emotional basketcase that she can make me. I just don't.
Sorry, this is a little raw but I've been holding these tears in and I needed them out so I can get over whatever ails me right now. Although, not sure what that is...exactly.