It's all downhill from here

Hi folks.  I'm not quite sure where to begin with this one.  There's lots floating around in my brain lately...how the C-section will go...how after the C-section will go...what Reese will look like...what I will look like (!)...etc, etc.  I guess I'll start with the doc from today and then move on to my other wandering thoughts. 

Doc appointment today was the most on-time it's ever been.  Walked in at 9:48 am for my 9:50 am appointment, peed in the cup, and as I was heading back to the waiting room, Nurse Shari called me back to be weighed and measured.  Up a couple lbs, making up for last week where I was at a stand-still.  Blood pressure (top number) up a little bit, but not the bottom.  I had warned her it might be because I've had a stressful morning (more on that later).  She wasn't worried about the top number going up, because the bottom has been a consistent 72(!) the whole pregnancy.  Yes world, I have low blood pressure.  Into the room for Dr. OB and away we go. 

I don't think I reported this but at my last appointment, Dr. OB and I wandered into some foreign territory and kind of got into it a bit over something not even really related to my pregnancy at all, but more about how doctor's operate.  She got upset with me it seemed, and I felt bad because while it had nothing to do with my pregnancy, I certainly didn't mean to upset her nor did we really need to be discussing what we were.  So last Friday, I had written a very nice thank you note to her apologizing for upsetting her and telling her how happy I was that she was my doc.  Well, the first thing she said when she walked in was thank you for the thank you.  I really wanted to make sure she wasn't pissed as she was delivering my baby, and our appointment this morning was muy enjoyable...not even a mention of my sodium level or swollen-ness.  YAY! 

Baby Reese is still being a stubborn one and is breech, with her her head jammed up in my ribs.  Dr. OB could feel her butt through my closed cervix, but apparently she's very happy where she is...in my belly!  Heartbeat is still good and we're all set.  C-section is officially scheduled for April 12th at 7:30 am, meaning we need to be at the hospital by 5:30 am!  J will not be happy about that.  We went through the procedure and how that day will work.  We get checked in, checked out by resident, talk to anesthesiologist, and finally about 7:30 am, walk back to the OR.  J gets in his scrubs while I get a spinal for the pain and once that is in and working fine, J comes in and we begin.  Dr. OB said it only takes about 5-10 minutes to get the baby out, it's the stitching up that takes about 30-45 minutes.  Meanwhile, they are cleaning up the baby and giving her to me or J to hold.  (I'm getting teary eyed just thinking about it all.)  Then the three of us go to recovery and we're there for about an hour.  Then we go to our new room until about Sunday, when we can come home.  At some point, the grandparents will meet her, hopefully after I've come off the anesthesia and can experience their joy.  It will be an eventful morning for sure.  Made my last 2 appointments with Dr. OB and out the door we went.  Quickest appointment ever. 

I did ask about after care for me and she said 1) no baths or hot tub for 2 weeks after surgery, showers are okay, 2) I'll see Dr. OB after 2 weeks of recovering, then another 4 weeks, 3) not supposed to drive for the first 2 weeks either, and really 4) take it as easy as possible, letting people take care of me and the house, so I can take care of the baby.

So the other little stressers in our life keep popping up.  First it was Sierra and her bump on her gum.  Then, the other day, I heard the dogs wrestling more aggressively than usual in the back yard, and here comes Sierra with a cut on her lower eyelid.  We determined it will probably heal itself and we've been cleaning it, but it wasn't pretty to begin with and gave me quite a start. 

Then, last night, J kept hearing the a/c come on but not feeling any airflow, so he checked the blower and it wasn't coming on.  That meant a call to the warranty company this morning for a service call.  (This is where my higher blood pressure came from this morning.) I called the first place they told me to call, and the lady was so very rude to me.  She said they could come out between 10 and 2 today.  I replied that I had a doc appointment and couldn't guarantee I would be home earlier than 11:30 am, but if they called me when they were on their way, I could tell them how soon it would be until I was there.  I was then told, it was a waste of their time to sit and wait for me, but apparently not a waste of mine.  It got uglier from there and we both decided we didn't want to work with each other, so we requested a different company.  That company can't come out until Tuesday (technically Monday, but I have this little thing called "work" on Monday), so that's where we stand.  Thankfully, almost every room in our house has fans.  I just couldn't believe how rude the lady was with me!  She even answered the phone with an attitude.  So all of this needs to be remedied before our little Reese joins our crazy house!

Okay, so here's what was going through my mind the other day.  Our battle (if you will) to get pregnant, surely felt like climbing to the top of the hugest mountain out there.  It took forever, took it's toll on our emotions and our wallet, and just wasn't the funnest ride ever.  Once we got pregnant, I felt like I had reached the "goal" so to speak and was at a loss for what to do next.  I'd spent so much time trying to achieve pregnancy and had so many failures, that once we got there, I had no idea what now!  Of course, we muddled our way through the first couple months of the pregnancy and did just fine.  Now that we're nearing the end of the pregnancy, and at what feels like a truly rapid rate, I feel like I'm on a huge slide from the top of that mountain peak.  Things are coming at me faster than I can deal with and even imagine.  I feel like I have a basic knowledge of babies and I'm hoping the mothering instinct will kick in here after she's born.  I'm a bit worried about J, but he's a quick study and I know he'll catch on fast from me, from the nurses, and from all the grandparents wandering around.  But I know it will be a whirlwind. 

I've always been a planner.  That's my job.  That's how I was raised.  And it has served me well.  I always had a lot going on, so everything had to be planned so it got done.  In college, my friends were often amazed at my ability to come home from class, start my homework immediately, and usually be done before dinner when I could then go out and have fun, while they were often times up through the night finishing projects they had waited to do after their fun.  I've done the same in my adult life.  Work first, then play.  But I planned it out so both could be present.  I can't plan this.  I can't plan how Reese will sleep.  I can't plan how often she'll want to eat.  I can't plan my recovery.  We're lucky that at this point (unless Reese turns and flips the switch to come out), we can plan when we'll have her.  But for the most part, the next steps of our lives are so up in the air right now that it scares me.  I can't plan how the money will work out.  I can't plan which daycare works for us.  It's not driving me nuts, but it is definitely in the back of my mind.

So when I get up in the night to pee (we're at 2-3 times a night now), I have to shut my brain off, because if I start thinking about all these things, I'll never get back to sleep.  And I know, that after April 12th, sleep will be something I can't plan on either.

Whew....we're in for the ride of our lives folks.  Hope you will continue to join us!  Have a wonderful weekend!