The real update

So now you are up-to-speed folks and I guarantee that I will write more now that both cats are out of their bags.

HOUSE - The move went fine.  We had about 13 volunteers helping us, including MBM, MBM's very preggo sister and her hubby and daughter (although I don't think Lil M helped but she did keep the movers entertained), J's parents, Mama K, and a slew of other people.  But it was a very tiring day and instead of just having one "mother" around, I had about 7.  Whenever I went to pick up any box (be it full of pillows or books) I had to check around and make sure I wouldn't get  screamed at for "picking up something heavy."  Believe you-me, I got screamed at a lot!  All in love, all in love, but by the end of the day I was over it.  We had treats for the movers (bagels/donuts and pizza) and once we made it to the new house, everyone fell in love with it just like we did.  That weekend was a whirlwind and despite being pregnant, I tried my best to get a lot unpacked.  That left for a very tired Nikus every day!  But here we are, ready for Labor Day Weekend, Schelle's visit, and our Housewarming Party.  Pictures are on the walls, furniture is arranged, the only boxes left are things that were in boxes to begin with (i.e. our childhood memories, etc) and we're all settled.  YAY!

PREGNANCY - Wow.  I really can't believe that I am actually pregnant.  I have bouts where I have no symptoms what-so-ever and after those moments disappear, I remember that I am and feel that I am.  I have to pee all the time.  My boobs ache like I don't know what.  I have cramps like AF is right around the corner.  And I even have had a few food aversions and upset tummies and hormonal outbreaks.  J has been super wonderful.  I figured he'd get really tired of hearing about my cramps, etc., but he says, "go lay down" and "don't over-work yourself."  Even makes sure I eat before 8 pm so I don't get crampy at night which actually seems to make a difference. 

I told Mama K the other day that I keep waiting for someone to jump out and scream "just kidding" at me and that this is all a ruse.  She said, "that's a very mean joke."  I know, but it just feels so surreal.  She said she still looks at her daughter (who is 7!) and is amazed she came out of her body.  I told her, "add to that feeling, trying for 4 some-odd years and failing for 4 some-odd years."  She said, "I can only imagine how you feel."

I've talked to Holly a few times about minor things.  I think in some ways she is more excited than I am for the ultrasound.  But talking to her is like talking to my best friend.  When we haven't talked for a while, she answers the phone with, "well where have you been?"  I do love that lady and couldn't have done IVF without her...and Dr. H of course. 

Our first ultrasound was August 30th and we definitely got some interesting news that day.  I was very nervous the day before and day of, almost busting into tears on the way there because my mind was running wild with what the doc may or may not see.  Calmed myself down enough.  Walked in, sans treats (too nervous to cook) and didn't even have to give my name...they know me, and commented that I was empty-handed at which point I immediately wished I wasn't.  Holly came out to chat for a second and ask how I was feeling.  J was a few minutes behind me because we drove separately so we could both go to work afterwards and he needed to get gas.  Holly left me and immediately I was called to go back.  Texted J to say, "get your butt here" and just as Dr. H walked in with Holly in tow, J walked in behind them.  Time to get down to business.

Dr. H started up the ultrasound machine and pretty soon can point out that there is in fact a baby in there and everything looks fine.  There is in fact, two embryo sacs in there, however one is thriving more than the other.  So we could see that everything was doing fine and then Dr. H said, "we may have a vanishing twin syndrome here."  What that means is that the 2nd baby isn't prospering as well and may not make it, however it won't be a miscarry technically.  However, he also stated that he could be wrong and things could go along just fine and next time we have an ultrasound we should know the outcome.  He then reverted back to Twin A (Mo) to look for the heartbeat.  I was holding my breath the whole time I swear.  And he finally found it and it was just this miniscule flutter on the screen.  Miniscule is an understatement.  (Understand that what we're seeing on the screen is magnified - so we're seeing the sac which is about as big as an orange on the screen, however inside of me it's about the size of a blueberry.  On the screen the heartbeat flutter is about the size of half of my pinky fingernail, so imagine what it is in my body...again, miniscule!)  And then he got the machine close enough so we could hear it.  Hear IT!  And it was fast.  147 beats per minute, but according to Dr. H that is normal.  But folks, we do have a heartbeat!  That was the point I started breathing again.  I started to tear up a little bit, but then we went right back to Twin B (Eenie) to talk about the vanishing twin syndrome.  Holly said that it shouldn't hurt me or the baby, and in fact Dr. H's first child had a vanishing twin as well, and he is now 20 years old, handsome, smart and great according to his aunt Holly.  She said not to worry now.

So it was an interesting morning.  I was expecting an answer on the number and while we know that one baby is for sure prospering well, we don't quite know how the second will turn out.  I briefly spoke to Angel Ash this afternoon and she said that she felt #2 would hang on, so who knows.  She's been right so far, I'm not about to doubt her now.  However, I need to be ready if #2 isn't around when we go for our next ultrasound.  Dr. H also said that even if the twin vanishes, I may go into labor early because we started with twins and the body still thinks that.  And we graduated out of Dr. H's office.  Will not go back to see him, unless I want to show off my pregnant belly, update the binder still in the office, or show off the fruits of our labor when he/she/they are born.  And the drugs stop September 20th.  Amazing!

And now we're back to real time.  So I will continue to post how I am feeling and what new fun things are happening in my life.  Thank you so much Bleeps for not giving up on me.  But besides wanting to tell Schelle in person (as I promised her years ago that I would that I was preggers), I needed to get to that first ultrasound and make sure everything was progressing as we needed it to be.  Now that all the family and friends know, and the ultrasound is confirmed, I think we'll be okay going forward.  Just needed to get my head on straight before revealing myself to the world.  If you know me on FB please don't say anything yet.  As much as it pains me, I really want to wait until we hit that 12 week mark to reveal myself there.  Am working on what to say, but I'll get there in due time.

And Bleaders, please know that I wouldn't have made it this far without you all and your support.  You have helped make me as strong as I am today.  You are my blog-amily (that's blog and family).  Thank you!!